Unhappy Spouses Need to be Aware of Apps and Social Media Use as a Marriage Unravels

Posted by: Gerald Maggio

Top Orange County Divorce Attorneys; The Maggio Law Firm

Relationships are established much quicker in our hyper social media age. It used to be that relationships evolved over months but with technology – whether texting, social media, or email communication – everything happens at a rapid pace. For marriages that are on the rocks, a spouse can rekindle or find a new love and intensify the bonds rapidly.

A recent article in the Huffington Post highlighted how, “This means more affairs, and perhaps an increased number of marriages breaking up due to technology.” When a person is having a bad day at home with a spouse, they often turn to social media to relieve their stress and get back some enjoyment. But before you start to post negative comments about your spouse or send inappropriate pictures or posts over social media, think twice. Otherwise, you could wreck the success of a fair divorce.

The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers notes that 75 percent of divorce lawyers are utilizing evidence from social media in marriage dissolutions. Use caution and restraint when posting on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, or any online technology or you could cause more trouble than your post was worth. Remember it is not social media that is causing the problem, it is your behavior that is inappropriate. Do you want to see photos of a night on the town with cocktails in the background and a post that says “thank goodness I am away from the husband and kids”? Imagine seeing this on a big screen in the courtroom for everyone to examine when it is time to decide alimony, child support, or your fair share of the child visitation rights.

Your ex’s lawyer and the judge will scrutinize these posts and be able to take them out of context. So exercise some restraint so that problems are minimized. Also be aware of the power of your cell phone. The new Apple iPhone 4s has an app “Find My Friends” that can land you in the crosshairs of a lie. A spouse can load you and other friends on their cell and see your location on a map. So when you claim to be stuck in traffic on the 405, your spouse can see in reality you are in Laguna Beach. The GPS system does not lie, and it will be hard to show that you got lost if you were truly messing around with a mistress, that happens to be a Facebook friend that lives in Laguna Beach.

So do yourself a favor and stay off all social media and exercise caution until the divorce is finalized and you want to start a new relationship. Otherwise you could jeopardize your child custody and marriage settlement because of inappropriate behavior.

For more information or to schedule a consultation with Orange County divorce attorney Gerald Maggio, contact The Maggio Law Firm by calling (949) 553-0304 or visiting www.maggiolawfirm.com.

Co-parenting Dynamics Should Be Reviewed to Ensure Kids Are at the Forefront

Posted by: Gerald Maggio

Top Orange County divorce lawyers; The Maggio Law Firm

Co-parenting can be a daunting endeavor. For new divorcees, managing a full-time career, expenses, and kids’ schedules can stress even the most optimistic, upbeat person. In 2012,

vow to focus on the kids and living a healthy lifestyle rather than hating the other co-parent.
The fact stands that your ex does not live up to your expectations, and probably never will, or your marriage would have lasted.

When you can lighten up your hatred toward the ex, you can be happier when you drop them off on the ex’s parenting week or weekend or during special occasions. Treat the ex almost like a business colleague so you can keep focused on the kids’ development and your sanity. A child’s self esteem grows when they can have quality time with both parents, and does not have to be a messenger between his or her parent.

Tara Fass, a family therapist, says, “To cultivate resilience in your children, try to turn down the anger on your anxiety, disappointment and rage. How you co-parent today affects generations to come and your lineage forever. The choice is yours.”

Inevitably as the kids grow and dynamics change, the parenting agreement might need to be modified. When there are valid reasons to update the agreement – extracurricular activities the child is involved in, work schedules, summer vacation – a family law attorney can help the parents revise the agreement. It is best if both parents can work out the revisions versus having to go back to a judge to decide what is fair. As Fass states, “…dissolving couples who require a judge’s assistance to co-parent are adults viewed as children in a tantrum-like frame of mind and emotion.”

Children greatly benefit from structure, smooth transitions between households, and an environment where a parent listens and truly cares about their child growing up as normal as possible. Co-parents will have their own personalities but “As long as you are both using good judgment and are acting in safe/healthy ways, then some parenting differences will actually create benefits for your child,” noted the We Can Parent Together website. “Problems with co-parenting during the infant, toddler, preschool, and elementary school years have been related to a wide variety of child problems, including problems with social adaptation, poorer preschool and school achievement, anxiety, and aggressiveness,” said the authors of “When People Parent Together”.

For many child therapists, divorce is not problematic in and of itself. It only becomes a strain on the child’s development when conflict, inadequate parenting, and unstable routines create an unhealthy childhood. If the co-parenting agreement is creating more problems than resolving them, seek the guidance of an expert family law attorney. Taking action early on will have great benefits for everyone in the family for the long term.

For more information or to schedule a consultation with Orange County divorce lawyer Gerald Maggio, contact The Maggio Law Firm by calling (949) 553-0304 or visiting www.maggiolawfirm.com.

 
No Legal Advice Intended: This website includes information about legal issues and legal developments. Such materials are for informational purposes only and may not reflect the most current legal developments. These informational materials are not intended, and should not be taken, as legal advice on any particular set of facts or circumstances. You should contact an attorney for advice on specific legal problems. Full disclaimer.