How to Cope With Mistrust After Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

orange county divorce attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmCheating is the first thought to haunt the minds of many when they think of the impact of mistrust in any marriage. A big question that also comes into one’s mind is whether a person who cheated on his or her spouse should be trusted again or not. A partner who was betrayed has a tough time in deciding whether the relationship can sustain or not. When a person divorces the spouses who cheated on him or her, it becomes difficult to enter into a new relationship. The reason is simple.

Coping with mistrust can be really difficult, especially after a divorce.  Trust has a wide scope and it is not only about catching a partner lying or speaking the truth. Trust is also all about believing that the other spouse has the best interests in their hearts for their partners. On the other hand, mistrust is all about leaving a lingering doubt in one’s mind that his or her partner does not love them truly and can even leave them. While your spouse may proclaim his or her love send undying devotion for you, do their actions echo what they keep saying?

Mistrust and cheating may not be related always

Once your marriage breaks up; it can lay down a foundation for the birth of mistrust even in your new relationships. Mistrust may pop up even if your partner has not cheated on you. It can happen due to the emotional baggage a person carries after getting divorced for the first time.

You need to understand an important point while exploring this issue. It is highly likely that your partner is not the only person to take the entire responsibility of creating mistrust in you. There are several scenarios where you may also have to own up some kind of a responsibility so that there is an atmosphere of security, safety and loyalty in your relationship.

Some questions to be considered while overcoming mistrust

  • Do you feel uncomfortable while asking for what you require and permit yourself to be vulnerability in the process?
  • Does your apprehension of loss confuse your original perspective and ends up overreacting to your partner’s actions?
  • Do you permit yourself to be respected, loved and pampered?
  • Are you in your best possible self while interacting with your partner? 

You should take lessons from your past mistakes and try acquiring trust

You can learn and nurture trust like any other skill though many people do not regard it as such. While many people discuss about proving their trust, rating trust and restoring trust, very people talk about learning to trust. However, if you develop a viewpoint that you are loved by your partner, trust will automatically come up in your married life.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.

The Effect of Adultery in California Divorce Cases

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce attorney; The Maggio Law FirmAre you involved in a divorce concerning adultery? If that is the case, here are some things to know as it relates to divorce in California. After all, you should ensure that you must get as per your rights irrespective of being the spouse of the adulterer or the adulterer.

There could be negligible impact on your divorce settlement

While there is no doubt that adultery is one of the biggest betrayals in any marriage, it may not make you eligible as much as you could be expecting when it is a question of divorce settlement. While you may feel that you deserve a lot due to the infidelity of your spouse during your marriage. In reality, you may often not be awarded the settlement amount that you consider is fair.

No effect on the issue of child custody

Though it may come as a big surprise for you, adultery committed by your spouse may hardly have any effect on the issue of child custody. If the court considers your adulterer spouse as a good parent, the latter could be awarded the right to the custody of your kids from the carriage or right of visitation.

Evidence is not needed in states that allow “no fault” divorce

Do you reside in a “no fault” state? If it is so, there is no need to produce any kind of evidence of adultery. This is because such states do not need any reason to divorce apart from the reason that the couple is not living as wife and husband anymore.

There could be benefits in issues related to alimony and settlement of property

Though there is no significant impact of adultery on divorce settlements. It can influence matters like alimony and property settlement. The reason for this is the spouse who was betrayed can use it to his/her advantage for continuing to maintain their existing lifestyle.

Court may consider expenses related to the extramarital affair

When the adulterer spouse spent a huge amount of money on his or her new partner, the spouse who was betrayed may be eligible for compensation.

Can adultery be a ground for divorce?

California does not recognize adultery as a ground for divorce.  However, there are some states where just because a spouse cheated on in the marriage does not signify that it is a ground for getting a divorce. When you do not stay in any “no fault” divorce state, the betrayed spouse should furnish evidence of the adultery committed by the other spouse before the courts to consider the same. The evidence can be a private investigator or an eyewitness who should testify in the court. When you have photographs of your spouse’s betrayal, you can produce them before the judge too.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.

 
No Legal Advice Intended: This website includes information about legal issues and legal developments. Such materials are for informational purposes only and may not reflect the most current legal developments. These informational materials are not intended, and should not be taken, as legal advice on any particular set of facts or circumstances. You should contact an attorney for advice on specific legal problems. Full disclaimer.