Top Pitfalls To Avoid During Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce lawyers; The Maggio Law FirmWhile it can be undeniably a painful process, divorce is nonetheless a major decision in any individual’s life and should be understood in depth before starting a divorce proceeding. Since things like properties, assets and children are involved, a divorce can become a complex process and should be handled carefully. Psychological problems like stress, tension and depression are common among new divorcees and measures should be taken to prevent such problems.

There are other problems which can and should be avoided during divorces. Below is a list of some of them and how they can be avoided.

Don’t underestimate expenses

Asset and property is a common procedure during California divorces. Usually, courts will divide assets equally between the couples and more than often some individuals end up having much less than they had earned. It is therefore important that you make a list of your earning and the amount you spend on expenses as a couple. Making a monthly budget is key towards financial protection during divorce.

Do settle joint debts as soon as possible

The sooner you clear joint debts during your marriage, the better will be your financial status after divorce. After a divorce, your finances and investments can become a huge debt if you don’t keep a track of how much each earnings of you own in the family.

Don’t allow friends and family to have maximum control

Often, individuals who go through divorce rely too much on friends and families for advice. It is always a good thing to have friends and families during troubled times but too much dependency is not good. It is possible for emotions to cloud sensible judgement and you might end up making bad decisions.

Do try saving your marriage before you file for divorce

Why head for a divorce at all if you can save your marriage? Well, because it’s easier said than done. And that is why mediation lawyers and firms exist. Mediation can help identify key areas of discord and provide the best possible solution for them. You and your spouse should take out some time to see a mediation lawyer and try sorting out things if possible.

Don’t ignore the children’s needs

If you have children, then you already know how important they are in a family. Children are the first ones to get affected by divorces because it’s not every day that they see their parents staying apart. Research has shown that children of divorces undergo psychological problems and perform poorly in games and academics. Children should be your first and most important consideration if you plan to get a divorce.

Conclusion

Divorces can become ugly if individuals are unprepared for what’s in store for them. Hire a good lawyer and understand in detail what you need to consider before getting divorced.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated! Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

How To Get Back On Track After A Bad Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

orange county divorce attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmA marriage or a relationship is a partnership where two persons lead one life. After a certain point in life each person can start to become dependent on the other. For individuals who are overly dependent on their spouse, the word ‘divorce’ is a nightmare.

In the wake of a divorce, it can be hard to get your life back on track but it’s very important that you do so, because getting back to living a meaningful and fulfilling life is what is most important at this point.

Let your emotions flow

Most individuals find it difficult to talk about their emotions after a divorce. Holding back feelings can have an adverse effect on your psychology and your health. Since, you are trying to move on and lead a new life it’s very important that you don’t drag extra baggage as you move away from your divorce.

Consulting and talking to a therapist helps if you feel severely depressed and lonely post-divorce. A therapist will help you identify the exact problems you are facing and provide a way to cope up with them.

Rework your finances

One of the worst parts of divorce is the financial problems that you must face due to property and asset division. Rebuilding your financial life should be a priority. You should start by calculating your assets and expenses. Make a list of your liabilities and what part of your income is saved at the end of each month. If you’re unemployed then it’s best that you get a job.

Keeping a track of your finances will shift your mind from negative thoughts and will allow you to focus on more important things.

Rediscover yourself

After a divorce, you’ll find plenty of time for yourself. So, rather than isolating yourself from the world, go out and discover a new side of yourself. Go for a vacation, get a new haircut or treat yourself to something nice. It is extremely important that you spend time with yourself and rediscover a new side that you haven’t experienced before.

Conclusion

Divorces are tough especially if you’ve lived with someone for a long time. It is obvious that going through a bad divorce will affect you both mentally and physically. It is therefore important to change your life and start afresh. Let go of your emotions and talk to people that matter. Focus more on your finances and building a new life through new and different experiences.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated!  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Ways to Help Your Kids Cope After Your Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce lawyer; The Maggio Law FirmWhen you are going through and also after divorce, here are some ways to be a good parent and limit the adverse impact on your kids due to your divorce:

Should engage in a harmonious co-parenting, which benefits your kids

There are parents who are known to co-parent effectively until the time their kids become 18 years old.  However, there are a lot of events in your children’s lives even after they turn 18 where both you and your ex-spouse need to be involved as parents. Your little ones will be graduating from their colleges one day, get married and become parents themselves. Thus, there will be several such occasions where divorced parents are still expected to continue co-parenting even after their kids become adults. You can get in touch with a reputable parenting coordinator so that an effective parenting plan can be devised to serve the requirements of your children and then, co-parent.

You should not complain about how things are at the home of the other parent. Moreover, do not intervene even if your kids remain awake till late hours at the home of their other parent. Effective co-parenting means to be cool with how your kids are taken care of in their other home and trust that your children are happy and safe while they are at your ex-spouse’s home.

Try to build up a civil relationship with your former spouse

Your kids should not be used as pawns by you to get even with your ex. Moreover, they should be kept out of any type of hurt feelings or problems due to your divorce or marital problems. Every mother and father has a deep influence in the lives of their kids. Children can only become healthy and good human beings when they are positively influenced by both their parents. Moreover, your children should have an equal contract with both you and their other parent even after the divorce. Do not try to alienate your ex where the children are concerned. When you truly love your kids, you need to ensure that they have everything they require though you do not share a good relationship with your former spouse.

You should not express your negative feelings about the other parent in front of the children

Look for an alternative outlet when you want to vent out your grudge and emotions about your ex, your friends, family members are a professional therapist can give you better support than your kids. After all, your kids are definitely not equipped to cope up with your negative emotions.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated!  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Marital Counseling Is Advisable After Infidelity

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce lawyers; The Maggio Law FirmYou may seriously reconsider whether staying together is a wise option when infidelity or betrayal hits your marriage or relationship. After all, when your spouse indulges in an act of betrayal, there is a possibility that something was amiss in your relationship to reach that level. That is because now one of the partners has disrespected the marriage vows. Is it still possible for both of you to work out issues of conflict and continue staying together?

It will benefit you to remember that both of you were madly in love once upon a time. So, you need to find out whether you still have affection for one another despite such a big issue. The issue of betrayal can be too big for both of you to handle. It is the ideal time when you may require professional to help you in particular. A marriage therapist may be also required by you at this stage in your life. Today, many people have started to realize that therapists can be highly effective when a couple is going through a rough patch in their marriage.

Marriage therapists are experienced and trained to help couples sort out their differences and repair the marital relationship. It is possible to rebuild your relationship or marriage and eventually emerge even stronger after such turmoil. Check out a couple of ways where your marriage can be saved through marital counseling after infidelity.

Improving communication

There could be a stage in your marriage when you and your partner stopped confiding one another in all matters, particularly the spouse who betrayed. The Infidel spouse may have used white lies several times to cover up their offenses. When a marriage therapist is hired, they can be helpful in ensuring that communication improves between both the partners. It is possible that the spouse who has been betrayed may use accusatory words. It is definitely not a conducive environment for an open communication. Each spouse is asked questions on sharing their feelings and emotions by the therapist. Counselors can also help the couples by using role plays so that they can communicate in a more effective manner. T

Marriage therapists can help the partners to reconnect

There are many occasions on which spouses want reconciliation but do not know how to do that. The spouse who has strayed feels afraid as they know that it will evoke strong responses in the mind of their partner. On the other hand, the innocent spouse may still want to continue with the marriage. A counselor or therapist may help these couples to reconnect with one another.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process. 

How To Survive A Divorce With Children

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

family law attorney Orange County; The Maggio Law FirmAre you one of those thousands of parents whose marriage is breaking down but also have kids to think of? In such scenarios, the decision to end your marriage is not so simple. After all, most of your family members and close friends have been advising you to continue with the marriage for the sake of your children. But is that the right decision to make? Should you continue with a stressful marriage or will you be happier if you can call quits? Your children will also prefer to come out of continuous bickering and lead a more peaceful life.

There are many children who have witnessed their parents getting divorced and have survived the ordeal. With time, they have got adjusted to their new life. How well the kids will adjust will depend on how their parents handled the divorce and treated them after the divorce came through. Check out the tips below to learn how to come out of a marriage with kids.

You should be frank with your kids 

Though it is not essential for your kids to be aware of the minute details of your divorce and the stressed relationship with your spouse, you should be open about the things that are affecting them. If your kids ask you certain questions, you should lend your ears patiently and try to respond. Try to help them build up their level of confidence during this sudden and new stage of life. Let them know that no matter what happens, you will be always by their side. At times, your children may have concerns. So make them feel completely at ease by creating special moments, making them relaxed and share their worries.

Out of court negotiations are always a better alternative 

Although you and your estranged spouse may not be in the best of terms while your marriage is ending, both of you should make the best possible efforts to ensure that the children have a smooth transition in their life. Your discussions should be conducted in a clear and calm manner on matters like issues related to your children. It is better if you can settle all your issues out of a court.

The key points should be discussed with the children 

In order to ensure that the transition is a smooth one, you and the other parent should present a united front in front of your kids. It is easier said than done since it will be tough for both of you to come to a consensus but your main focus should be your children. Both of you must convince them that getting divorced does not mean that you will love them less. You need to ensure they are aware that your divorce is not their fault.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated! Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

How To Reconcile Your Marriage After A Separation

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmYou could be separated from your spouse for several months or years. But finally, the time has come to get back together once again. It is likely that you did not even hope that such a day will come in your life. Both of you have learned ways of effective communication, discussed what should be done for your mutual benefit from your relationship going forward and finally, you plan to get back together.

However, does your story end here? In real life, both of you need to take several steps to ensure the success of your marriage reconciliation. The following are some of the important points to keep in your mind to ensure a successful reconciliation after separation.

Do not allow anyone to force you into reconciling

You and your spouse should be the only two people who should be bothered about reconciliation. Your family and friends should be kept out of the entire affair. You need to ensure that it is your decision and not anyone else’s when you desire for a marriage reconciliation. It is time to give some serious thought, grieve your earlier relationship and make sure that no one else is compelling you to reunite.

Do not be in a hurry

Simply because you have taken a call on reconciling does not signify you will get back to your earlier married life. You should consider your decision to reconcile as a fresh relationship.

It also indicates that both of you should follow the same set of steps like a couple who got into a new relationship. So, time for you and your spouse to get familiar with each other at a completely different level. After both of you have dated each other for some time, you may move back together and start living like wife and husband.

Do not break the news to anyone else until it is essential

There will be always many people around you who will love to share their unwanted opinions about your private and personal relationship. In case the same thing is done by your family and friends, it is better to keep the news of your marital reconciliation private till the time you are certain of it. The sudden news of your reconciliation may baffle your kids and other family members, especially when you are not sure of staying together yet. It hardly makes sense to let your family go through another round of separation when you are just toying with the idea of reuniting.

All third parties should be removed from your relationship

If you separated due to an act of betrayal in your marriage, the third person should be removed from your life as soon as possible, particularly when you are reuniting with your spouse. It also means blocking them on social media and removing their names from your mobile phone.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Is It Possible To Reconcile With Your Spouse After Separation?

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce lawyer; The Maggio Law FirmAre you contemplating to reconcile with your spouse after your legal separation? If that is the case, you can think about the following things.

It is important to concentrate on your communication

In order to have a good marriage, it is crucial for both the spouses to have effective and proper communication. There is a strong likelihood that problems in a couple’s marriage may pop up when there is an absence of a healthy communication between them. So, it makes sense for the couple to have a proper pact for a healthier communication going forward. It is not impossible to pick up the skills of good communication like any other skills. The first step is to understand the importance of listening without being judgmental and think with caution before replying. You should also be honest while discussing your emotions instead of being aggressive with your partner.

Both the parties should demonstrate commitment

Your efforts of marriage reconciliation can be only effective when both you and your spouse show one hundred percent commitment to it. Reuniting after being separated for some time is nothing similar to watching films on the screen and may not be a case of being romantic and living happily ever after. It is possible to enjoy a happy and long-term marriage after your separation only when both you and your spouse demonstrate your commitment towards working on it.

An honest discussion with your spouse is essential to know what you want from the marriage. If both of you want similar things from the marriage and commit to make it work, chances of reconciliation after the marriage has a better chance to work out successfully.

Necessity of teamwork

The separation period between both of you can be a stressful one. However, if you are really serious and focused on reconciliation, it is important to understand that your spouse is not your foe. When both of you are ready to work as a team, difficult conversations and discussions can become simpler. Rather than being at loggerheads, you can become mates of the same team. Looking for solutions become an easy task to accomplish.

Take an honest approach on what went wrong

Honesty in a marriage is about what was not right and ensuring that things are right this time around. So, it is imperative that both of you should sit down together and discuss honestly what was not right the last time. You should also speak about what you should do differently so that your marriage gets a second chance. You need to show kindness towards one another during this process. Indulging in blame game and arguments will not be helpful to resolve the matter or making any progress. Rather, concentrate on agreeing on what should be done differently going ahead.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Are You Prepared If Divorce Is Your Only Option?

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce lawyers; The Maggio Law FirmWhat should be your next course of action when a marriage counselor is unable to convince you and your spouse to patch your marriage up? You can follow the path of many such couples who decided to settle their issues through a mutually consented divorce. Divorce is never an expected event in a couple’s married life of brings in a big impact on the financial positions of both the spouses involved.  When the divorce is obtained through mutual consent, both the wife and the husband try to settle their financial separation on certain terms and conditions, which are usually acceptable to them both, in fact, the details and the mode of such a settlement is in the in hands of the husband and the rife. A settlement for divorce can either include assets and money or can be done rigor them. The partners simply need to reaffirm their agreement in the court. Thus, in case divorce is the only option left before you, you must be prepared with the following steps.

Have a discussion with your partner on the financial details

While emotions do come in while you are separating, do not bring them while settling the financial matters. Even before you start discussing the various financial matters; it makes sense to understand the cash flow first. Thereafter you should sit with your spouse and try to figure out all the assets and savings like two mature individuals.  Your next step should be to list dine all these savings and assets’ market value. You can get in touch with a financial consultant or planner to get your assets valued properly. The distribution of savings and assets should be on the basis of how much each spouse had contributed, in case they did not succeed to arrive at an agreement on dividing them.

Splitting the assets

After you gave jotted down your assets as well as liabilities and their current market value, it is now time to split them. When the assets are being divided, you need to take into consideration what role will be played by each partner. The reason for this is while your spouse could be bearing all the expenses while you may be contributing for the savings.min case the rife is not earning sufficient money to support herself or she is unemployed, the husband needs to give her alimony. This could be applicable though she could be having her own income but her earning is not adequate to ensure a similar standard of living like her husband.

Child care

In case the couple has children, things may be more complicated.  Spouses may come to an agreement on a particular staggered payment or a lump sum amount to be paid to the person who will have the child’s custody. It can even be a payment made on a monthly basis with an incremental increase, taking into account the increasing cost of living.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated!  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process. 

What To Do When You Lose Your Child Custody Case

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

orange county child custody attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmWhen you lose your child’s custody, it can be a terrible experience for you as a parent. It will be quite tough to come to terms with the fact that your court thinks that your kids will be better off with the other parent. When such a thing happens to you, there are certain steps that you may take so that there could be a reversal of the decision and you can win back your children’s custody. You can try out some of the tips mentioned below.

Do some serious self-retrospection on what went wrong

Take an unbiased approach on what prompted the judge to arrive at such a decision of awarding the custody of your kids to somebody else. Were you incorrectly alleged of neglecting your kids or child abuse? Or did you violate any court order? When you have a fair idea of why such a decision was taken, you can take proper steps for correcting the situation.

Take legal help

If you are serious about winning back your child’s custody, you may have to work with a reputable divorce lawyer who is experienced in handling as well as running similar cases in the past, start asking your relatives and friends for some good referrals to seek an Orange County divorce lawyer dealing in child custody cases.

Request for an evaluation

After you have hired a lawyer and have started completing the steps required by the court, you can request your judge to conduct an in-home evaluation for child custody. Such a step will give an updated assessment of your home to the concerned court that could also help in winning back the custody

Abide by court’s orders and instructions

You should not ignore anything that the court asks you to do. Do not miss any court hearing and avoid rescheduling appointments with the guardian of the child or a mediator ordered by your court.

Try to be compliant and patient

When you wait for the re-evaluation of the agreement related to your child custody, you should ensure that you are exercising your parenting and visitation rights properly. Try to stay away for all those things that could aggravate the situation further. You should put on your best efforts to be courteous and civil while picking up your children for the visits.

Contemplate on the possibility of some other custody arrangement

You can also think about considering other options of custody. Initially, you might have wanted sole custody but after losing custody, you may agree to the idea of shared custody.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated!  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the Orange County divorce process.  

How Can The Legal Impacts Of Divorce Affect Families?

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

orange county divorce attorney; The Maggio Law FirmThe final call to end your marriage can be a tough one. The transition is even more painful when kids are involved in the marriage. A good parent will always ensure that there is a solid decision-making process involved for the welfare of the children. Plus, it is crucial to understand the kind of repercussion a divorce can cause on your family prior to moving forward. Reputable Orange County divorce attorneys at our firm will be more than pleased to help you out so that the impact of divorce on your family is minimized.

You will definitely agree that knowledge can be true power. When you know the possible tough spots, you can be well-equipped to face them bravely. Thus, complete awareness is an important need while it is a question of making sound decisions. Knowledge also enables you to prepare adequately when you have made up your mind to go ahead with a divorce. Divorce can usually have an impact on family life in two critical legal areas. The court will pass an order, which clarifies matters related to child support and child custody as a part of your divorce. However, changes in scenarios, which may need to rethink these matters, can be handled at a later point in time for future modifications.

  1. Child custody

Ascertaining matters related to child custody is a vital component of any divorce. It is possible that both the spouses may work out in an amicable manner through one of the Orange County divorce mediators. Alternatively, the matter may be contested by one of the parties and eventually handled by the court. Custody can exist in two forms, which are legal and physical. When a parent is awarded the legal custody of his or her kid, they have the right to decide on various issues like the general welfare, schooling, and health of the said child. On the other hand, physical custody refers to the living condition of the child. The issue of visitation is dealt as a subject of the agreement on the child’s physical custody. The court can award sole or joint custody to the parents.

  1. Child support

Once a divorce is through, there is also the issue of child support that needs to be sorted out by both the parties. For instance, certain court systems lay down guidelines to ascertain the amount of money a parent should pay to the receiving parent for child support. Such guidelines also specify which party should be responsible for paying child support and who is entitled to get this kind of a familial support according to the court’s orders. There could be a change in the amount of money required or owed for child support over a period of time. Such changes can lead to a requirement for a revision of the initial agreement.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated!  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

 
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