Marital Counseling Is Advisable After Infidelity

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce lawyers; The Maggio Law FirmYou may seriously reconsider whether staying together is a wise option when infidelity or betrayal hits your marriage or relationship. After all, when your spouse indulges in an act of betrayal, there is a possibility that something was amiss in your relationship to reach that level. That is because now one of the partners has disrespected the marriage vows. Is it still possible for both of you to work out issues of conflict and continue staying together?

It will benefit you to remember that both of you were madly in love once upon a time. So, you need to find out whether you still have affection for one another despite such a big issue. The issue of betrayal can be too big for both of you to handle. It is the ideal time when you may require professional to help you in particular. A marriage therapist may be also required by you at this stage in your life. Today, many people have started to realize that therapists can be highly effective when a couple is going through a rough patch in their marriage.

Marriage therapists are experienced and trained to help couples sort out their differences and repair the marital relationship. It is possible to rebuild your relationship or marriage and eventually emerge even stronger after such turmoil. Check out a couple of ways where your marriage can be saved through marital counseling after infidelity.

Improving communication

There could be a stage in your marriage when you and your partner stopped confiding one another in all matters, particularly the spouse who betrayed. The Infidel spouse may have used white lies several times to cover up their offenses. When a marriage therapist is hired, they can be helpful in ensuring that communication improves between both the partners. It is possible that the spouse who has been betrayed may use accusatory words. It is definitely not a conducive environment for an open communication. Each spouse is asked questions on sharing their feelings and emotions by the therapist. Counselors can also help the couples by using role plays so that they can communicate in a more effective manner. T

Marriage therapists can help the partners to reconnect

There are many occasions on which spouses want reconciliation but do not know how to do that. The spouse who has strayed feels afraid as they know that it will evoke strong responses in the mind of their partner. On the other hand, the innocent spouse may still want to continue with the marriage. A counselor or therapist may help these couples to reconnect with one another.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process. 

The Psychology of Cheating

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce lawyers; The Maggio Law FirmDesire is the main cause of misery, said, Gautama Buddha. However, is desire a reason enough to break a marriage? According to psychology, no individual willingly wants to do the wrong thing. We all have a conscience and we all know cheating is bad? Then why do people do it? More than 90% of married people believe infidelity is wrong. Yet, 30%-40% marriages in California end in divorce due to infidelity. Science believes there are psychological reasons behind why this happens.

Individual reasons

People always try to justify their actions. The reason the saying ‘once a cheater, always a cheater’ stands good is because people assume their actions are justified. A person when commits infidelity justifies his/her actions to convince himself/herself that he/she did right. Like a smoker, when he/she says his/her uncle smoked 20 packs a day and lived to be 100, a cheater minimizes the significance of his/her actions.

Men are proven to attempt infidelity due to the increased levels of testosterone in their body. At the same time, women tend to rely more on emotional thinking and therefore are led towards infidelity.

Situational reasons

A person might not necessarily be inclined to having an affair, but situations and environmental circumstances often amount to cheating. In few cases, people have found to commit infidelity as a form of seeking a thrill in their life. In others, they seek the emotional or physical void in their present relationships, leading to divorces.

In certain situations, dissimilarities among the couples lead to an inclination towards infidelity. In cases where one partner has a higher paying job, is more successful or more educated than the other, infidelity is common. This gives rise to a sense of superiority and the idea of the two individuals not being of equal level, giving rise to the dissatisfaction that can cause an imbalance.

Staying away from divorce

Communication is key in most cases. Communicating one’s perspective on infidelity and reinforcing the idea maintains a reality check for both partners.  Defining boundaries as a couple defines the meaning of infidelity which often fades due to self-justification. Ensuring that your partner communicates his/her needs from the relationship helps cater to those specific needs. Tackling infidelity is an intricate process and re-establishing trust and understanding will help save your marriage.

If you are facing infidelity, consult a therapist and try couple’s therapy. Leave divorce as a last resort if the mistakes can’t be resolved. Once you have decided to go ahead with the divorce, make sure that you hire the best Orange County Divorce Attorney/Orange County Divorce Mediator.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated! Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.

 
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