Top 4 Reasons for Long Term Marriages to End in Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmToday, it is not only the young couples who are going their own ways. Women and men who are over fifty are also found ending their marriages since they desire more out of their lives. Here are some of the top reasons why more long-term marriages are ending in divorce these days.

Betrayal

Betrayal and infidelity are not new where marriages are concerned in fact age to have nothing to do with a person is loyal to the spouse or not. In many cases, it has been observed that when intimacy between a couple is less, one of the spouses may look outside their marriage in search of that spark that is missing in the marriage, being disloyal to a spouse is one of the major reasons why even long term marriages are breaking down these days. In reality, though, infidelity is just a tell tale sign that a marriage has problems. And eventually, this symptom may sever the bond between both the spouses.

Desire to lead an independent life

Often, women who have been dependent on their husbands all through their married lives, develop a strong urge to be independent at a later stage of their lives, This is particularly true when these women resume their work after the kids are grown up and are no longer living in the home. On many occasions, when a woman becomes more financially stable, it can be a cause to destabilize a marriage that is already not going smooth. Moreover, when a woman is more financially independent, chances are that their confidence level will go up to come out of her long-term marriage so that she can find happiness.

When a spouse seeks better things in life

People keep changing with time. When aspires gets married at the age f 26, their wants from life could be quite different from what they are looking to get out of their lives after hitting fifty. Though it could appear cliche and yet couples can grow apart with time. In fact, when these couples have very little things in common, they can start living in the same house as roommates or strangers. They want to have a strong emotional bond with a certain life partner has led to many divorcing their spouses even after a long term marriage. Many people who are going through a midlife crisis decide to end their marriages to look for a fresh identity and to alleviate the pain they were experiencing in their middle age.

Divorce does not have the same level of social stigma attached to it anymore

Today divorces are more common in many parts of the world as compared to three or four decades ago. People who remained married due to fear of being criticized by the society or due to religious beliefs today feel free to end their marriages.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

What Couples Need to Learn from The Jolie-Pitt Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce lawyers; The Maggio Law FirmWhen one of the hottest and most influential celebrity couples in Hollywood, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, called it quits last year, it was bound to make it to the headlines of every form of media for quite some time. And while the gruesome details of the sensational separation intrigued many, there was more than just entertainment to be extracted from the whole episode. According to experts, there are several ways in which the “Brangelina” divorce could be touted as a learning experience for even the non-celebrity couples who are planning to part ways. Have a look!

Second or third marriages are more susceptible to end in divorce than the first

Studies indicate that couples that have already had bitter experiences in their previous relationships that ended in a divorce are more likely to experience the same in their future alliances as well. For instance, Angelina Jolie was married twice before she got hitched with Brad, who was also married to Jennifer Aniston. The fact is that when you ignore the red flags in your partner and carry your own unresolved issues to a new relationship, there are tremendous chances of its failure.

Strive to keep the details of your divorce private

Despite the fact that the sensational Brangelina split garnered extensive media attention, the duo decided to choose their words with caution and released well thought of statements on the divorce. Although your divorce might not be the most scandalous news for the daily tabloid in your town, it always helps to keep the ugly details of it between you and your attorneys. After all, there are plenty of next door neighbors who are just waiting to sniff a controversy and create skewed rumors out of it.

Keep your parental conflict away from your kids

While Jolie filed for the full physical custody of all the six kids, the couple eventually decided upon a temporary divorce agreement. Experts say that regardless of who gets to keep the kids, it is important to protect your little ones from the ugly details of your disputes and conflicts. You cannot bad mouth the other parent in front of your kid and expect him/her to grow up into an emotionally healthy adult.

While the marriage might be over, you will still be the parents for your kids

Both Jolie and Pitt announced their intentions to put their family before their personal disagreements and conflict. You must know that although you have given up on your wedding vows, your kids haven’t given up on you as their parent. Co-parenting will be the one most important aspect that you and your ex-spouse will have to work on forever in life.

Remember, no divorce is perfect. And, no divorce has a happy ending. It is just a few things that you can take care of to smooth out the process and take away the sting from it.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Understanding The Sacramento One-Day Divorce Program

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

divorce lawyers in Orange County; The Maggio Law FirmProtracted divorce proceedings may soon be another footnote in legal history.  Judge James Mize in Sacramento County, CA created a program in 2013 which makes it easy and swift to divorce in a day. The program is made to cater to individuals who are unable to afford a divorce lawyer. According to Judge Mize, the program pulls in folks who languish at the bottom and who have no help and do not have any kind of representative assistance.

Needed services for such an initiative are completed with the assistance of approximately 80 attorneys, miscellaneous staff and a number of law students. They will volunteer the needed services to assist couples discuss all terms related to divorce agreements. They will also prepare the necessary paperwork needed to obtain final judgment. When all the steps are completed, the relevant parties will approach the judge in the same day. The once couples will subsequently exit the courthouse carrying a final judgment of marriage dissolution.

Participation

This One Day Divorce Program is best for litigants who want to represent themselves. They should have filed a divorce or dissolution of marriage case within Sacramento County, California. They also must show themselves ready for judgment. To figure out whether the case is ready for judgment, the answer must be positive for questions like whether the Respondent were served summons and also petition. There should a Proof of Service of Summons. Alternatively, a response should have been filed with Court.  The final question is whether the individual and spouse would have completed an agreement on all the orders which will be included in the judgment, like property division, spousal support and debts. In case the couple has children, child support and a parenting plan should have been included as well.

Do note that any action leading to dissolution in Sacramento County is possible only if one spouse or both have lived in the county for the last three months. They should be California residents for a minimum of six months. Other than the residency requirements, a few extra rules must also be considered in case one spouse lives outside California State.

Whether other counties in California will follow Sacramento’s lead in starting their own one-day divorce program remains to be scene, but it is an idea worth considering to assist those in need and to help get such cases out of the court system quickly.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

How Your Job Status and Divorce Go Hand in Hand

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce lawyers; The Maggio Law FirmA recent study by Alexandra Killewald, done with over 6,300 couples, revealed that the most predictable factor of a divorce is the husband’s employment status. The study included many other factors, but revealed that men without full-time jobs are 33% more likely to be divorced. This study has shocked many sociologists as many predicted that financial issues would lead to divorce, not employment.

The change since the 70’s

The same study showed that unemployed men had a slimmer chance of getting divorced over 40 years ago, There are many reasons why this might have occurred. For starters, the role of women in marriages has changed drastically. In the 70’s, women were expected to handle at least 75% of household chores while the man was the breadwinner. Nowadays, women have their own jobs and salary to depend on. Moreover, the researcher had balanced out the income levels to rule out financial motives for divorce. She found out that lower household incomes didn’t contribute directly to divorce at all.

Marriage is a social institution

After taking all this into consideration, it was hypothesized that the reason for unemployed men having a higher divorce rate was because of imposed gender roles. These gender roles are implemented socially and lead to the perception of men being breadwinners and women doing household work. Killewald suggests that due to these perceptions, men tend to feel emasculated or inferior when taking on “feminized roles” like cleaning or providing emotional support. She suggests that the gender roles put pressure on men to be the breadwinner. However, the source of this pressure is unclear – it may come from family, extended family, friends or outsiders.

There have been a sleuth of studies that have shown that marriages tend to fall apart if stereotypical gender roles are given a high priority. This is because anything that doesn’t fit the partner’s desired role leads to conflict. With the right nature of marriage counseling, these issues can be resolved. If this doesn’t work then an amicable divorce seems like the best outcome and mediation helps with this.

Killewald suggests that a wider perception of a husband’s roles is the solution to this problem. There has been a lot of focus on the change in marital roles of a woman but the same attention hasn’t been given to the men’s experiences. It is clear to see that there are many “house-husbands” who prefer taking care of the household but there’s still a long way to go before they are fully accepted by all members of society.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Has Our Lifestyle Increased The Divorce Rates?

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Top Orange County divorce attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmThe divorce rates in the U.S. have been on the rise for quite some time now. Studies exhibit that nearly 40 to 50% of all first marriages in the United States end up in a permanent legal separation or a divorce. However, this figure goes up to 60% when taking into account the second marriages. The history of separation has been prevalent for as long as the institution of marriage in our society. However, the divorce rates have significantly taken a huge leap in the last fifty years. There are several factors that influence our propensity to divorce our partners. The most significant one, however, is the lifestyle change that we have encountered in the past few decades. Let us see how this so-called lifestyle change has driven us towards a higher tendency to divorce our significant other.

Our independence has made us self-sufficient 

We all are trapped in the race for rapid urbanization, and as a result we have started to trust our independent lives more than our marital lives. We are a highly independent lot of people, earning six figures already and coveting for more promotions and a heftier pay packet. It is a decreased dependence on each other, which makes us prone to feeling that there is no problem or issue that we cannot solve ourselves, including the one related to our marital lives. A decline in our humility, restrains us from seeking outside help from friends and family, in dealing with our issues, and usually ends up making us a victim of a divorce. 

Our declining morals and skewed beliefs 

Nowadays people do not hesitate from seeking solace elsewhere, if they are not finding comfort within their wedlock. With a change in our mindset, we find this act of straying away from our spouse, quite justifiable, and end up damaging our relationship, sometimes even beyond repair. We have developed a distorted notion about the sacred institution of marriage, which encourages us to indulge in devastating acts of infidelity.

Marriages are viewed as indispensible

Adding onto our skewed beliefs, is the fact that now we live in a society, that views everything as disposable. If a thing doesn’t serve our purpose anymore, we tend to discard it, instead of trying to mend it. The belief is extended to marriages that are unable to give us happiness, and we end up throwing them away as well. In the world, where everyone is looking for a quick fix for their problems, we do not want to invest any time and effort in resolving our marital disagreements.

The times are changing, and so are our beliefs and ideals. However, it is time to wake and smell the coffee, and understand that our marital life is not a dispensable commodity. It is a relationship that commands respect and efforts to withstand the test of times.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Factors Associated With A Higher Risk Of Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Top Orange County divorce attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmThe concept of divorce has been prevalent in the society for as long as the tradition of marriage. Nearly half of the marriages, ending in a divorce or a separation of some kind, make them akin to a gamble. However, that does not imply that we should give up on our belief in this sacred institution. If we are aware of the factors that might lead our marriage to a divorce, we might just be able to avoid it.

The declining importance of marriage in today’s society

We are living in an age where we have become used to of disposing off the things that do not work anymore. We have begun treating our relationships in a similar fashion. People today are always looking for a quick fix for their problems. If these problems happen to be arising from a relationship with our spouse, we are willing to dispose them off from our lives too. The value of nuptial vows has long gone down the drain. If there are issues within wedlock, people are more prone to discarding their marriage and moving on to the next one, rather than rolling up their sleeves and working towards a solution.

Divorce of a parent

Studies indicate that if your parents ended up divorced, you might be at a higher risk of divorcing your spouse too. The psychology and upbringing of a single-parent child is often held accountable for this behavioral trait in him. If at a tender age, you witnessed the endless fights of your parents, which eventually lead to a separation, you might grow up fearful and insecure of the longevity of your own marital bond.

People are unwilling to be at the losing side of a fight

With the growing independence of both men and women in today’s world, it is becoming more and more difficult to settle marital differences and disagreements, peacefully. People are unable to understand that they cannot dominate all the situations in life. There will be times when, either of the parties will have to give up the control to their better half and not crib about it. However, most us nowadays are lead by the ‘my way or the highway’ ideology, and are hesitant to yield control of a situation to our spouse.

The increasing divorce rates indicate a loss of basic trust and compromise in the marriages of today. However, with a little work and support of both the parties, the marital bond could be made to last forever.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

What Are The Common Reasons For Divorce In The U.S.?

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Top Orange County divorce attorneys; The Maggio Law Firm50% of all marriages ending in divorce in the United States is, unfortunately, a fact. Differences in income levels, personalities, education and physical appearances are just some of the many reasons why so many couples are getting divorced in the US and experts and therapists say that these reasons are very trivial especially after having spent so many years of their lives together.

Divorce statistics in the U.S. 

No doubt the rate of divorce has been at a stable if not slightly declining rate since the 1990’s especially after divorces could be settled out of court and child support and alimony was introduced by states in the U.S. Couples didn’t feel the need to stay married to each other with all the benefits being offered to them by the state governments.

Now, the average length of a happy marriage in the U.S. is claimed to be only a shocking 11 years. According to a recent and interesting study conducted by the American Law and Economics Review Board, a little more than two-thirds of divorces in the U.S. are filed by women. Even though the rate differs slightly from state to state, by the end of the 19th century, 70% of women in most states were the ones filing for a divorce.

Common reasons for divorce in the U.S. 

Marriage therapists and counselors in the U.S. say that shockingly enough the main reasons why many couples are getting divorced so fast is due to the simplest and most futile reasons. The most common ones are –

  1. Society – the number 1 reason for divorce in the United States is either one party getting married for the wrong reasons such as money or because they thought they had to get married before reaching a certain age.
  1. Lack of individuality – ‘couple dumb’ is a syndrome where either the man or the woman are incapable of doing anything interesting without the other person around. Having their own interests and the freedom to express themselves and involve themselves in their own hobbies, likes, interests, etc. is vital in order to maintain a sense of individuality and enjoy their own personalities.
  1. Financial dependency or difference in incomes – when one partner becomes financially dependent on the other is when problems start to arise as the other partner automatically begins to call all the shots when it comes to how and when to spend money. Major differences in incomes earned by husband and wife can also be grounds for calling it quits as whoever is earning more tends to stand on a pedestal in the relationship.

Other common reasons for divorce in the United States include either partner “changing” after marriage, unmet expectations, loss of intimacy, and forgetting your role in the relationship.   So what’s the most common trait of the most successful marriages?  It is having the least expectations of what their marriage and their spouse should be.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.

Breaking the News of Divorce to Adult Children

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce attorney; The Maggio Law Firm“We cannot divorce, the kids are too small to deal with it” is a common phrase spoken by parents who, despite not being happy with their marriage, decline to proceed with divorce. Ironically, most of these couples will go for a divorce once their kids have passed the age of 18. What parents like this need to realize is that irrespective of the age of the child, divorce can affect them. Even after the child becomes an adult, seeing their parents end their marriage can leave a lasting impression.

Once the kids are all grown up, they’ll either be studying in college, working their sweat off or starting a life, having kids and experiencing all that their parent’s did; responsibilities, commitments and relationships. For them, their mom and dad are the ideals of a successful marital life. So when the same parents decide to get an Orange County divorce, fighting one another in court, it comes as a shock that could shake their world to the core.

Hence, it is important that you soften the blow by breaking the news to them properly.

A Family Huddle

This is perhaps the biggest news you’ve had to break to them. So make sure that you have all of your children gathered at one place to hear the news. Both the spouses, not just one, needs to talk to them in person, to build a mild background for their decision before breaking the news.

Yet, whenever that is done, it has to be done subtly. Prepare for what you have to say to the children and the most important thing is presenting the decision as one that is taken mutually, in consultation. Now is not the time to put blame on one another.

Be Prepared for Questions and Shock

This is not ordinary news for your adult children and you shouldn’t expect them to simply take it in their stride and move on. Once the news has settled, they will react to it. Their reaction can be one of two things; they will ask a lot of questions, express dissatisfaction or anger or do both simultaneously.

Remember they are no longer kids, so their questions may be pin point, and ones that make you uncomfortable answering. The fact that they are adults will be highlighted in their questions. Some children may even break down. Irrespective of your feeling towards the other spouse or the reason for you to get an Orange County divorce, you need to reassure your children of your presence for them as a parent. Tell them that you will put up a united front, whenever the need arises. This will go a long way in preparing them for things to come.

When you end your relation with your spouse, the way you end it will leave a lasting impression on your children. It is best that you choose Orange County divorce mediation instead of a court fought divorce, since that is more peaceful and cooperative.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.

Most Couples Choose to Wait Until After The Holidays to Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

divorce attorneys in Orange County; The Maggio Law FirmAccording to divorce trends in recent years, March has earned the nickname of “Divorce Month.”

December has historically had a lower number of divorce filings. Although couples may be thinking about divorce, they are often reluctant to break up during Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas or New Year, because they want to avoid additional stress during the already stressful holiday season. In addition, couples with children may choose to have one last holiday together as a family.

Divorce is painful and traumatic any time of the year that you file, but for divorcing parents it is generally a good idea not to disrupt the holiday season as children are likely to feel the impact of the split much more during that time.  Also, you do not want to create a memory for your children that you filed for divorce around Christmas-time, a sad reminder that they will recall for the rest of their lives.

The start of the New Year is generally considered the busiest time for divorces. However, research by FindLaw.com in 2012 indicated the overall divorce rate starts to surge starting in January until it peaks in late March. The legal information website collaborated with research service Westlaw to analyze divorce filings across the nation from 2008 to 2011. They also found that Internet searches for divorce-related information increased 50 percent from December through March.

Financial factors such as income tax and yearend bonuses can also affect the timing of a divorce. A person’s marital status as of the end of the year determines whether they will file joint taxes or an individual return for the past year. Separating couples also tend to decide their approach to the divorce — whether it is litigation or mediation — during the three-month period after December.

Besides family dynamics, finances also come into play in divorces. The holiday season can be an especially expensive time of year with Christmas shopping.  So it is important to note that in contrast to a traditional litigated divorce, mediation can drastically reduce costs for couples who can work through their issues together in a conflict-free setting.

New Study Finds Kids Could Benefit from Joint Custody Arrangement in Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

family law attorney Orange County; The Maggio Law FirmThere has been considerable debate about the type of custody arrangement that works best for the children of divorcing parents. According to a study published earlier this year in the Journal of Epidemiology & Community Health, kids fare better when they are able to split their time between both of their divorced parents.

Current thinking prioritizes stability when it comes to the healthy development of children. However, the study’s findings challenge assumptions that kids in shared custody arrangements experience more stress due to the social upheaval and unpredictability that comes with constantly moving between two homes.  One interpretation of the study is that living with both parents part time also tends to double the number of social circles and resources a child is exposed to, which can help reduce stress.

Researcher Malin Bergström of the Centre for Health Equity Studies in Stockholm, Sweden, and her colleagues examined national data from around 150,000 students ranging in age from 12 to 15. They studied their psychosomatic health issues, including sleep problems, concentration difficulties, headaches, loss of appetite and feelings of tenseness or sadness. Sixty-nine percent of the students lived in nuclear families, while 19 percent divided their time living with both parents and around 13 percent lived with one parent.

The results showed that children in nuclear families reported the fewest symptoms of stress. However, surprisingly, those who lived with both of their divorced parents in two homes reported significantly fewer health problems than kids who lived in a stable home with only one parent after their divorce. The overall findings indicate that stability in the relationships children have with their parents outweighs stability in housing.

So what does this mean?  It could be that children may be more impacted by the conflict between parents rather than the actual parental separation. When parents effectively manage their conflict, the results can be hugely gratifying and can result in a co-parenting strategy that works well for everyone.

For more information, see the following:

  • http://time.com/3836627/divorced-parents-joint-custody/
  • https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/the-divorce-custody-arrangement-that-benefits-kids-117628597472.html
  • http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/292992.php
 
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