Tips for Moving On From the Gray Divorce of Your Parents

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmIt is a fact that the number of “gray divorces” has grown at an alarming rate, especially in the last twenty years. And yet, there are very few guidelines on how the adult children from these divorced families should cope up with their changing family structures and mental states. There are many such adult children who face loyalty conflicts since they are often compelled to take sides. And although these children may not have to take sides, they can be stressful while making an attempt to maintain proper boundaries, particularly when their parents are constantly at loggerheads with each other.

Check out the following tips if you are one of these adult children who want to move on from your parents’ gray divorce:

Control your urge to act as a friend, parent or mediator for your divorced parents

It is natural to feel sympathy when either your parents or both of them request you to resolve their conflicts or are expecting you to act as their mediator or counselor. But you need to be out of such parental disputes and let them know about your decision in clear terms.

 Create and sustain healthy boundaries

When both or either of your divorced parents are too much dependent and constantly want your support or are revealing excessive personal information to you, they should be told about your exact feelings. Likewise, if one parent is criticizing the other parent in front of you, it is time that you tell them not to do it.

Share activities with them that are enjoyable to all of you

You should not let the divorce of your patents determine your relationship with them. Make it a point to enjoy activities together and tell them that you do not want to discuss the matter of their divorce with them.

Your emotions should be expressed to your parents calmly and honestly

Adult children in general and daughters, in particular, may go through a lot of emotional upheavals when they get to know about the impending split of their parents. You should let your parents know what you feel about the entire situation rather than suffering silently.

Be cordial to both your extended families

In case you are serious about keeping an amicable relationship with the families of both your parents, then let your parents know this goal of yours. It is normal for adult children from gray divorces to feel an urge to develop strong bonds with their parents’ extended family members as it offers them the feeling of a closeness and belonging.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated!  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Financial Planning After a Later-Life Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmYou may find yourself getting divorced all of a sudden later in life.  You may not have as much of an earning ability in your later or senior years. So financial planning becomes extremely important, especially if you find yourself thrust into an unexpected divorce.

An effective financial planning can be done if you follow these simple steps –

  • Calculate your living expenses – A post divorce budget will give you an estimate of how much of an income you need and what expenditures you need to reduce.
  • Generate incomeYou will have to find ways of increasing your earnings. Check your assets and any businesses to see if you can make any passive incomes such as rent or dividends.
  • Learn about taxes – Depending on the value of your assets and your property, you can choose to adjust your tax impacts or consequences. It will help you reduce your expenditures.
  • Have an asset mix or mixed portfolio – Mixed portfolios have a lot more value now. Classify all your assets within a fund or a core asset class such as stocks or bonds or cash or real estate.
  • Understand the changing value of money – The value of money will keep on changing. Inflation, rise and fall in the value of money will affect alimony and property buyouts. It will help you to have a financial plan in place.

Health concerns

The health condition of a spouse can determine how the marital property and other assets are divided. It will influence the value and need for alimony. If the ill spouse cannot have an earning and has no other means of supporting himself or herself, alimony and other factors will be greatly influenced.

Healthcare costs and availability are a matter of serious concern for people who aged over 50 and are still not eligible for Medicare. A spouse suffering from Alzheimer or dementia will require a guardian or representative appointed by the court to make surrogate decisions for them.

Financial issues related to late life divorces can be resolved by opting for a separation and a post marital agreement instead of going through a divorce. By staying married legally you can receive certain benefits. You can wait till either of you becomes eligible for Medicare or Social Security benefits.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

 
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