Kids and How To Date Responsibly After Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce attorney; The Maggio Law FirmThere are several instances when a child does not take it well when their dad or mom starts dating someone after a divorce. The million dollar question is how does a parent handle the kid(s) in such a situation.

Your kid(s) could be upset for an end number of complex reasons. They could be apprehensive that a new stepparent may make things quite complicated and take all their parent’s attention. The matter of territory also plays a big part in how they feel about it. They have started thinking that you are their mother/father, it is only their house and the new person is not their dad or mom. Such emotions could be overwhelming as well as scary for them.

Speak to your kids about what impact does your dating have on them. Find out what are those aspects which are upsetting them. Such an understanding can be useful for you to make this new experience simpler on them. In case you find that your child is worried that your dating will limit your time together, you should make sure that you spend some exclusive one-on-one time with them. If they do not like to see you around with a man/woman apart from their father/mother, explain to them that you are trying to make new friends just like they would do in a completely new situation.

You should make all attempts to ensure that you are maintaining the same routine with your child so that the new dating does not have any impact in their day-to-day life. However, it is not mandatory that they should meet every guy/girl you are going out on a date. The reason being it may be both confusing and overwhelming for them. You should wait for a while till the time you are sure that the said relationship is getting to the next level and then introduce him or her to your kids.

A little patience can solve lots of problems

You need to be patient since it could take time for your children to adjust to the new person in your life. There are many children who keep hoping and wishing that both the parents will eventually be together. However, ultimately, most of the times they want their mother and father be happy in each other’s company. It may also help when you seek out for professional help such as other divorced parents or a good marriage counselor.

Your divorce could be tough on your child

When you get a divorce from your spouse, it can be tough for the parents as well as for their children. Children may demonstrate emotions like anger, anxiety, and sadness as a means of responding to the loss of a usual two-parent family. Such emotions may lead your child exhibiting social withdrawal, symptoms, aggressiveness, facing difficulties in school, behaviors or any other types of social problems. Thus parents can try to deal with such behaviors in their kids by being frank with their off-springs and discussing these issues frankly.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Why You Should Put Your Kids First During Your Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce lawyer; The Maggio Law FirmMany parents have a belief that their kids are emotionally more pliant and flexible as compare to them and they can cope up with the aftereffects of their parents’ divorce. The divorce experience of any child will shape up based on how well their parents look after them even after the divorce is finalized so that they feel loved and secure.

Here are some of the top reasons why your children should be given first priority during your divorce:

Your divorce can mean a big change in the lives of your children

Such changes include getting involved in the conflict between you and their other parent, an absence of emotional security, economic difficulty, and change of residence and so on.

A divorce can make a child feel that he or she has now lost their family which has been the center of their world till now.

When children grow up in a family where conflicts and stress factors are low, they feel secure and their family acts as a shield of security for them. This feeling of security and belongingness enable a child to face the world with confidence and widen their outlooks as they know that they have a secure home to return to. When this intact family does not exist anymore after their parent’s divorce, it is as shocking as a death in the family for a child. Thus there should be a proper grieving period and they should be given the time and the opportunity to substitute it with a fresh kind of a security.

The risks of sociological, educational and psychological problems of a child may go up after their parent’s divorce

All aspects of a kid’s life get impacted when his or her parents decide to divorce; they may even have a change in relationship with their close friends. Additionally, their capability to concentrate and focus in school may also get negatively impacted. As such, there is a great deal of likelihood for such a child to feel depressed and anxious.

Kids may go through emotional trauma and pain after their parents’ divorce

Irrespective of how much effort a parent puts in and how good they are in their parenting skills, children may still feel lost and sad after the divorce or while the divorce is going on, the divorce of their parents will always hurt children. It is not true that children are always happy when their parents are happy.

There are some parents who are under a misconception that their kids spend energy and time thinking about their happiness.  However, children are always more concerned about their own happiness, especially during such trying times.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Can Your Spouse Say ‘No’ When You File For Divorce?

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce lawyers; The Maggio Law FirmYour spouse does not enjoy the legal right to decide if you can opt for a divorce or not. If your spouse abuses you basically or mentally, his response is expected as he feels there is nothing wrong to be violent with his spouse. However, he or she is nurturing a misconception that the law gives him or her that kind of control to exert.

How does a divorce work?

In such scenarios, or is better for you to hire the services of a good divorce attorney and let him file your divorce petition irrespective of whether your husband has granted permission go ahead with the divorce or not.

Alternatively, you can get in touch with a clerk of your local court and inquire for information how to file a divorce petition if you do not want to hire a divorce attorney. While your former spouse may not be exactly pleased with your right to do so, he or she cannot do anything about your power to divorce him or her. Your case may in a different manner in different states. It is not an unusual phenomenon in a divorce where one of the spouses may not agree to sign the divorce petition so that that it can be referred to as an uncontested divorce,

What is a default divorce?

After you have filed your divorce petition, your spouse has a month to respond up it. In case he or she does not respond within this period, the court will regard the matter as his refusal of an uncontested divorce. The court will enough issue a default divorce in your favor.

However, there are some states where the court may set a further date when your spouse does not respond to the initial divorce filing. While this can be a lengthier process bit in case your spouse is absent on the date set by the court, a divorce will be granted to you on the basis of the information furnished by you in the original divorce petition. If you have hired a local divorce lawyer, he or she will guide and advise you on the steps to be followed in accordance to the jurisdiction of your court. Thus, the bottom line is that it is possible for you to brain a divorce though your spouse refused to sign.

However, you can be certain that although he refused to sign on the divorce papers initially, once you file for it, he or she is also likely to hire a good attorney and may name attempts of abiding you through your Family Court System. So, get ready for a high conflict divorce process. You need to discuss your situation thoroughly to the attorney hired and ensure that you have approached one who has the necessary skills and experiences in handling cases for victims of marital abuse. Additionally, if you feel that there is any kind of danger lurking from his end, be prompt enough to procure a restraining order from your court.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

How to Cope With Mistrust After Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

orange county divorce attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmCheating is the first thought to haunt the minds of many when they think of the impact of mistrust in any marriage. A big question that also comes into one’s mind is whether a person who cheated on his or her spouse should be trusted again or not. A partner who was betrayed has a tough time in deciding whether the relationship can sustain or not. When a person divorces the spouses who cheated on him or her, it becomes difficult to enter into a new relationship. The reason is simple.

Coping with mistrust can be really difficult, especially after a divorce.  Trust has a wide scope and it is not only about catching a partner lying or speaking the truth. Trust is also all about believing that the other spouse has the best interests in their hearts for their partners. On the other hand, mistrust is all about leaving a lingering doubt in one’s mind that his or her partner does not love them truly and can even leave them. While your spouse may proclaim his or her love send undying devotion for you, do their actions echo what they keep saying?

Mistrust and cheating may not be related always

Once your marriage breaks up; it can lay down a foundation for the birth of mistrust even in your new relationships. Mistrust may pop up even if your partner has not cheated on you. It can happen due to the emotional baggage a person carries after getting divorced for the first time.

You need to understand an important point while exploring this issue. It is highly likely that your partner is not the only person to take the entire responsibility of creating mistrust in you. There are several scenarios where you may also have to own up some kind of a responsibility so that there is an atmosphere of security, safety and loyalty in your relationship.

Some questions to be considered while overcoming mistrust

  • Do you feel uncomfortable while asking for what you require and permit yourself to be vulnerability in the process?
  • Does your apprehension of loss confuse your original perspective and ends up overreacting to your partner’s actions?
  • Do you permit yourself to be respected, loved and pampered?
  • Are you in your best possible self while interacting with your partner? 

You should take lessons from your past mistakes and try acquiring trust

You can learn and nurture trust like any other skill though many people do not regard it as such. While many people discuss about proving their trust, rating trust and restoring trust, very people talk about learning to trust. However, if you develop a viewpoint that you are loved by your partner, trust will automatically come up in your married life.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.

How To Find Concealed Assets and Money During Your Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmAs soon as the divorce proceedings start, it has been observed that many people try their best to hold back what according to them is their own property or money. There are some individuals who even possess secret bank accounts as well as other financial activities when they were married. If you feel your estranged spouse may have done the same and you desire to get a fair settlement, you need to expose such hidden accounts

When you are not ignorant about the resources and techniques used by financial and accounts professionals, you will not become a victim of your former spouse or the spouse who is concealing certain assets. Here are some of the ways to determine if your spouse may have concealed assets.

Saving accounts of your former spouse can reveal unusual withdrawals or deposits made

Abnormal withdrawals and deposits may show light to unveil a hidden asset like investments made to generate dividends. When you come across such abnormal withdrawals or deposits, you should note them down. Make sure of retaining copies of all such account statements before separating from your spouse.

Check canceled checks and account statements of your spouse

When you come across a canceled check in order to make a purchase you were ignorant about like a real estate property, it can make a significant impact on how the marital assets are split in the event of a divorce. A lot of interesting facts may get revealed when you check canceled checks and account statements. You need to ensure that you have a copy of all such financial accounts in the discovery stage of your divorce.

A courthouse can be a precious source of information if you are checking your spouse’s hidden assets

In case your spouse has taken money on a loan from a mortgage institution or a bank, the loan applications made will be filed at the said courthouse, an individual has to fill up an application form for taking loan from a Frank. Such applications will have details of all the assets owned by that individual and the estimated values of each of them. Thus, most of the times, you get a fair idea of the actual assets owned by your spouse and their worth by checking a loan application form.

You can also begin the discovery process by checking your spouse’s tax returns

A majority of the people fill their income tax returns sincerely as they are afraid of paying fines and penalties or being imprisoned otherwise. Though a spouse could be hiding his or her actual income from you, they will not try to do it while filing their returns.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Smart Tips for Stay-At-Home Mothers Facing Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Child custody attorneys Orange County; The Maggio Law FirmBoth you and your former spouse had your own distinct roles while you were married and a stay at home mother. While your ex husband worked outside, you did your work inside the home. In fact, everything went on pretty well.

But now that you are getting divorced, you need to do plenty of things to ensure that your divorce remains a smooth process. It is particularly true since you are looking forward to a fresh beginning after your divorce comes through.

Here are some of the smart tips, which can be a big differentiator to thrive successfully after your divorce gets finalized,

Get yourself an experienced accountant

It may be the case that both you and your then spouse have hired an accountant while you were married. but now that a divorce period has been already filed, it is better to have a separate accountant . You should have your own accountant for two main reasons. Firstly, there could be occasions during the divorce proceeding when an accountant will be needed by you for reviewing potential settlements. He or she will help you to realize what could be the consequences in terms of taxation. When you have a separate accountant, you can get the get the best possible guidance from them. Secondly, divorce may have some tax implications. It is particularly true in the first couple of years.  For instance you could be a co-owner of your home. Alternatively you may have to file certain forms to make sure that your returns are filed properly. When you have an accountant to guide you, handling such issues becomes child play.

You need to have a reputable financial adviser in your team

Just like having an accountant can save your headaches with respect to taxes, a good financial advisor can guide you in examining choices of potential settlement from the perspective of both future plans and cash on hand. They can even advise you to invest in non-retirement or retirement funds that you get as a result of your divorce settlement. Thus they will help you to carve out a budget so that you are aware the kind of support required for you after the divorce and help you to be out of financial difficulty.

Get an appraisal of your home done

A big blunder committed by many estranged couples is that they make a guess of the worth of their home. Your house could be the biggest asset so its proper calculation is a must. It will not be of much use to rely on only certain real-estate sites.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Documents Your Divorce Lawyer Will Need In The Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmYour divorce attorney will need certain crucial financial documents before the divorce proceedings start and during such proceedings. Some such documents include income related documents and tax returns.  Other documents that your lawyer will need are property valuations, marital debts, documentation of assets, and related documents.

While you are getting your documents, your attorney may ask for digital or hard copies of them. However, you should make it a point to keep copies of all those documents you handed over to your divorce attorney. If you have handed them over the digital copies, save another copy either online using a cloud based service or take a backup of it. When you show these documents online through software like Google Docs, you can easily access them and you can always fetch them even if your system crashes,

It is also imperative that an organized and complete file with all the relevant documents is submitted to your attorney. It will then enable to make your negotiation process run in a smoother manner. On the other hand, when you need to approach the court, a well-organized file will help you to provide better supportive evidence in your favor.

  1. Income related documents
  • If you are employed, you need to collate pay slips from both your present and previous employers for the last one year. In case you are self-employed, you need to submit business forms or income tax returns that are associated with the income generated from your self-employment.
  • If possible, get the pay slips of your spouse for the same duration.
  • You need to also submit copies of individual or joint tax returns as applicable for both federal and state for the last 3 years.
  • When either your spouse or you are self-employed, it is also necessary to get documents relevant to your business expenses.
  • Copies of statements highlighting net worth or any other financial statements that were prepared by your spouse or you to secure bank loans.
  1. Real estate related documents
  • Present mortgage statements that you could be having on a real estate asset.
  • All documents that legally describe whether the said real estate is owned separately or together.
  • Documents related to the real estate’s initial purchase.
  • Statement of tax assessor related to a real estate.
  • In case any refinancing has been done for a real estate, you need to submit all the documents related to such a refinance.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Factors to Consider Before Accepting a Lump Sum In Your Divorce Settlement

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce attorney; The Maggio Law FirmAre you one of those couples who are in the most of your divorce settlement negotiations? If that is so, you should contemplate properly before angering to accept a lump sum as your settlement. In case the non-earning spouse is offered a lump sum in lieu of his or her divorce settlement. The money is needed to support that person’s future lifestyle. However, it often gets quite abstract.

If you are trying to ascertain whether the lump sum offered to you is adequate or not the most important factors to consider are:

  • The plans for investment returns or the growth of that money, which is further dependent on various financial variables
  • Cost of supporting that person’s future lifestyle subject to the evolving requirements and inflation

However, it is not an easy task to estimate the number of funds in today’s currency is required to fund his or her future lifestyle even when that person is financially savvy. It is also tough to determine how the future lifestyle of that person will look like on the basis of getting a lump sum as a divorce settlement today. If you are going through such uncertainties, time to engage a professional and reputable financial planner to help you out.

A good financial planner helps in assisting you with respect to a lump sum money offered during your divorce settlement

Contrary to several attorneys, an experienced financial planner who knows how to work on matrimonial issues is aware of how to look beyond these financial abstractions.  They are equipped to interpret as well as communicate alternative situations the clients. When these planners accept these kinds of matrimonial engagements, their key tool is to come up with a cash flow projection for many years, which is generated on certain logical and reasonable assumptions.

It is difficult to anticipate future expenses and project the cash sources needed to fund such expenses are even tougher. Returns on your investments are dependent on the allocation of your portfolio asset. That, in turn, rely on factors like how much tolerant you are for taking investment task, the capability of replacing lost capital, your age and other economic resources available before you.

It may not be the right thing to do it alone. It makes sense to hire an experienced financial planner who is well aware of such an exercise with his or her other clients. The advisor should have in-depth knowledge of tax laws, should be intuitive, emotionally intelligent and is skilled in portfolio construction.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

More Women Are Paying Alimony Today

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

orange county spousal support; The Maggio Law FirmThings have changed drastically in the workplace with an increasing number of women being seen in high-level positions in the corporate sector today. In fact, according to statistics, women are found to be the top earning members in about one-third of the marriages.

As a massive number of marriages are found to end in a divorce today, this change has led to another key transformation. There is an emerging, growing and new trend of many women paying for their child support or alimony to their former husbands. The meaning of equal rights is that an ex-husband may demand alimony if his wife is the family’s major breadwinner.

About 56 percent of the divorce attorneys in the US have witnessed a surge in the number of moms paying for child support, especially in the past 3 years. 47 percent of the divorce lawyers observed an increase in the number of females paying alimony to their former spouses. The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers came up with these interesting statistics,

If one spouse earns significantly more than the other spouse, alimony serves the purpose of equalizing both the spouses’ lifestyle when their marriage gets dissolved. The original aim of alimony was to safeguard the interests of that spouse who was not the main bread winner of the family, typically the wife.  Today, alimony is much more gender-neutral and it’s the disparity of income between the spouses that determines spousal support.

What is the significance of this for those women with rising careers?

Though planning for a divorce goes against the principle of a happy marriage, you need to understand the effect of your salary increase. It is applicable for different kinds of situations ranging from taxes to retirement. Hence proper financial planning should start while taking into account co-mingling assets.

When is a prenuptial agreement a handy tool?

In a marriage where both the parties and one of them have acquired a great desk of assets, it is a good idea to have a prenuptial agreement so that there is no unpleasantness between the couple in the future. When a couple consults a reputable divorce attorney and a financial advisor prior to exchanging their vows, it helps in understanding what should be included in their prenuptial agreement.

When you create a financial inventory and a balance sheet up front, there could be constructive discussions between both the parties so that both the parties are aware what liabilities and assets are there in the beginning. Such acknowledge may come handy for both the parties that can be used for setting their future shared financial goals.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Top 3 Ways To Keep Your Kids Happy Even After Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmMost divorced couples, as well as divorce experts, would agree that kids get highly affected by the conflict between their parents after the latter are divorced. It is interesting to note that kids are not harmed by their parents’ divorce, rather the onus lies on those parents who do not give first priority to their kids during the divorce. As parents, it is your responsibility to do the best for your kids after the divorce comes through so that they do not turn into collateral victims. Are you a worried parent who does not want your divorce to cause a negative impact on the kids or minimize them as possible? Here are some of those things to take care of such an issue.

Try to put yourself in your kids’ shoes

Never be under the illusion that your children are related when they get to know that their father or mother are in love again or are dating a new person or love going out with their friends.  Things simply do not function that way. As a loving parent, your happiness should depend on how satisfied your children are. It should never work in a reverse way. After all kids are narcissistic in nature, which means they are more bothered about their own happiness and requirements. It is not your kid’s lookout how happy you are in your personal life.

Both the parents should try to have a healthy relationship after their divorce

Both the parents have a special and individual influence in the lives of their children. Your children gave got a better chance to grow up as healthy adults when they get the company of both their parents. So, it is extremely crucial for the kids of the divorced parents to get equal time to spend with both their parents. It is quite likely that you are not quite fond of your gourmet spouse now but that does not mean your kids will stop loving their other parent. When you love your kids above everyone else, make sure that all their requirements are fulfilled despite your not so cordial relationship with your ex.

Try to let go of the feeling that you are superior to the other parent

It is possible that your former spouse abused you or cheated on you. However, what is more, crucial is whether they treat your kids well or not. When they love the children despite their shortcomings and your children feel secure and respected with their other parents, you should not be judgmental.

Finally, kids can be victims when it is a question of their parents getting divorced. They do not have any voice in the decisions taken by you and your spouse regarding the marriage breakup. It is imperative that they have some sort of control over how they should live. You can be their best parents by fulfilling their emotional needs even after the divorce is finalized.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

 
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