Tips To Have Healthy Communication with Your Former Spouse

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Top Orange County divorce attorney; The Maggio Law FirmDo you have children from your marriage to your former spouse!  If the answer is yes, then it is extremely important to maintain a civil and courthouse relationship with your former husband/wife. It is quite necessary that the parents hide their differences and work for their children’s welfare.  In case there is resentment within you or proper communication does not exist with your ex-spouse, you will not lose anything. Rather your kids can be impacted negatively.

There are several such studies that prove divorce does not damage the kids. Rather parents who are irrational after they part ways may damage their mental states. So, try not to be a parent like that. When you put efforts to creating a productive and dress relationship with the other parent, the healing process will be after getting both the involved parties and it will be easier for you and your children to move ahead in life. The following tips are useful to keep your negative emotions toward your former spouse at bay.

Define clear-cut boundaries and try to stick to them

You should communicate with one another properly and establish proper boundaries and scopes for the responsibilities you need to carry out in the lives of your kids.  Both of you need to understand that you should value your relationship with each other for your children’s sake and hold that relationship in high regard. When you define proper boundaries about your co-parenting relationships after the divorce to move forward, it will help in creating a positive atmosphere, which will help to alleviate the stress and tension of coping up with issues related to child custody and visitation

Consult a good therapist

Are you having a tough time while discussing crucial issues related to your kids? It is better to take guidance from a third and unbiased party in such scenarios. So do not hesitate to approach a therapist, a friend or a clergy who is close to both you and your spouse.  When your former spouse is not willing to be a part of it a therapy after the divorce, you should go ahead alone for it. The conflict between both of you can reduce when you learn new and important skills and know ways of responding to situations, which may trigger a conflict. You can learn how important it is when you do not engage in a conflict with your ex-spouse and how to control your emotions of you want to retaliate when provoked. It is important to forget your past so that things go smooth in the future.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated!  Click this link to download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Advice for Stay-At-Home Mothers Facing Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Child custody attorneys Orange County; The Maggio Law FirmBoth you and your spouse have had your own distinct roles when you were a mom who stayed at home. While your husband went out to work, you did your part inside the house and things were going on nicely. But now that you are going through the divorce process, you may want to do various things to ensure that your divorce is a smooth one. After all, you have to get ready for your life ahead after your divorce. Check out the following smart tips while facing a divorce.

Tip 1: Get in touch with an experienced financial advisor

When you consult an experienced financial advisor, they can be of a big help to assess your potential settlement choices from the perspective of future planning as well as cash on hand. He or she can guide you in investing any non-retirement or retirement funds that you get as a settlement amount from your divorce. A financial advisor can also assist you in putting together a budget that can help you to find out the amount of money you will require after the divorce and often helps you to stay away from any kind of financial difficulty.

Tip 2: Consult a good accountant

You may have had an accountant who guided both you and your spouse when you were married. However, now that you are getting divorced, you will need an account exclusively of your own.

You should have an accountant of your own for various reasons. An important reason is there could be certain occasions during a divorce when you will need an accountant for reviewing your potential settlements. An accountant can also help you in understanding the tax consequences while guiding you in matters that are usually in your interests. So it is time you have a different accountant of your own and stop sharing the sand accountant as that of your husband.

Tip 3: Get your house appraised

A big mistake some couples commit is when they let a mediator guess the worth of the home they were living in. It could be highly likely that your house is the biggest asset for you. Hence it makes sense to get it valued properly rather than relying on certain websites who are into conducting valuation of the properties. When you fail to do so, you may end up in different types of troubles as Internet values may not be the actual ones. In case you are thinking of purchasing the home from your spouse or vice versa, you may have to ascertain that the sale price of the property is a proper and fair one.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

 

How to Help Your Kid through Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce attorney; The Maggio Law FirmAs thousands of couples decide to end their marriages every year, their kids are also affected in the process. But their reactions will depend to a large extent on their personality, the circumstances under which the parents decided to separate and their age. Kids often get affected when their parent’s divorce. Often, the first reaction these children go through is that of sorry, anger, frustration, sadness, and shock. However, these children can deal these feelings in a better way as they know how to cope up with stress. As an end result, many of them are more tolerant and flexible when they become young adults. At such trying times, the most crucial things both the parents can do are to help their children steer through it by taking the following steps:

Important steps

  • Try to minimize disruptions in the daily routines of their children.
  • Make sure that legal talks, heated arguments, and visible conflicts happen away from the kids.
  • Do not be negative in front of them. Conversation with close friends and private therapy sessions should not take place inside the house.
  • Both the parents should be involved in the lives of their kids. Indifference will hurt them more.

People going through divorce or separation require lots of emotional support from their families, clergy, professionals and friends. However, these adults should never seek support and help from their children though they may appear ready to do so.

Break the news gently

The moment you are completely sure of your divorce plans, you should speak to your children about the decision to separate. Yes, it will be not an easy task to break this news. In case it is possible, it is better if both the parents are present while the news is shared. Make sure that you adopt a neutral and unbiased tone and do not express your emotions of guilt, anger or disillusionment while telling them about your separation. Of possible rehearse how you are going to break the news from beforehand so that you go not lose your temper or become upset during the discussion.

You should discuss the matter in accordance with the temperament, maturity, and age of your kids. But one statement should be common. Whatever took place between both of you; your kids are not responsible for that. This is because a majority of the children feel that they should be blamed when things did not work out between their parents. So, it is extremely crucial that the parents reassure their kids about this.

Rather tell your children that at times the adults do not agree on things or their love for one another change and so they decide to live separately. But also tell them that children will tie the parents forever no matter what happens.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the Orange County divorce process in California.

Top Questions To Ask Before Hiring An Orange County Divorce Lawyer

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

best divorce attorneys in Orange County; The Maggio Law FirmAre going through a divorce proceeding and are looking frantically for a good divorce lawyer? It is important to note that you generally should avoid hiring the first attorney you got in touch with. Selecting the right divorce lawyer to help you in getting a speedy divorce should be a crucial divorce-related decision, which you need to make.

Be cautious

It is possible that a close acquaintance has sent you a referral to a family law attorney but you should still need to do a bit of homework before saying yes. It is important to check the qualifications of the attorney and ensure that the person concerned has adequate experience in handling your case. There is no dearth of lawyers in the market and you will find that many of them market themselves as “divorce” or “family law” attorneys.

Questions to ask

Here are some questions you could contemplate asking a family law attorney during your first interview with him or her. All these questions will help you to ascertain if the said lawyer is apt for your divorce case or not.

  1. Is divorce part of the lawyer’s practice? How long has he been associated with practicing family law? Is he a family law specialist? Is he aware of the total number of family cases handled by him?
  2. How will launch time it approximately take to resolve your case? Will there be any specific strategy for speedy resolution of your case?
  3. How will you contact him or her in the event of an emergency? How much time does he normally take to return the clients’ phone calls? What are the events he or she regards as an emergency situation?
  4. Will there be anyone else in his or her chamber who will be also working on your case? If yes, can you meet them? What is the kind of experience they hold?
  5. What is his hourly rate? How will he or she charge you? What is his or her retainer up front? Will he charge for the time you spend with some other lawyers or with the secretaries?
  6. What costs does he or she expect to incur apart their own legal fees? For instance, the costs could be incurred for psychologists, physicians, forensic accountants and private investigators. How does he plan to charge you for such costs?
  7. What does he feel about the estimated total cost of your divorced? You should be prepared as most of the times, a divorce law attorney will be unwilling to respond to this query since the divorce cost could depend on a great extent on the level and complexity of your individual case. But, the manner in which the said lawyer replies to this query of yours will help you to know what they are expecting? An attorney who is honest may usually respond by saying that it is tough to estimate the total expenses in advance. On the other hand, a lawyer who quotes too low an amount could be just making an attempt to get a business
  8. Will the lawyer permit you to do a direct negotiation with your estranged spouse? What are the ways of keeping your divorce cost down? Can you do any such tasks that will lead to the reduction of his or her fees?

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Is Divorce Affecting Your Mental Health?

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

orange county divorce attorney; The Maggio Law FirmThose who have been through a divorce actually realize that it is hardly a picnic. At least, the statement is true for most of the divorced couples. Both the emotional as well as the legal process can take a toll on your physical and mental well being. When you find yourself entangled in a divorce that is full of drama and high conflict, your case may drag on for an indefinite time period. Further, your mental health can suffer due to your emotional turmoil. Research has proved that a divorce can even affect your heartbeat and sleeping habits.

Plus, there is plenty of uncertainty, which comes as an additional baggage with your divorce making you feel insecure today or even in the future. Based on your unique circumstances, it is possible that you need to move all of a sudden, resume work after many years when your sole focus was on your home and kids. You may even have to survive with fewer funds than before. When you are aware of the mental health issues that may pop up during your divorce, you can be in control over your emotional and physical health and are able to take all such steps that can prevent excessive damage.

Divorce and anxiety

There are ample case studies to prove that divorce may expose the involved parties to a higher risk of a mental state such as anxiety. This emotional state may be reflected by chronic worry, increased physical agitation, panic attacks, restlessness or fearfulness, and irritability. It is normal to be busy with the various details and intricacies of your divorce, relationship issues with your former spouse and thinking about those negative issues that you may have to cope up with next. Anxiety can lead to a feeling of obsessiveness while causing havoc to your everyday function, sleep, and concentration. In case you feel that you are suffering from high degrees of anxiety while your divorce proceeding is still going on or after your divorce, you should either get in touch with your physician promptly or try out any or all of the following natural remedies.

Search for support groups or a professional counselor

  • Pursue some new hobbies
  • Exercise regularly
  • Form new friendships
  • Get engaged in meaningful work
  • Volunteer to help others
  • Get in touch with your friends and family for support

Divorce and depression

Depression occurring due to a painful life event such as divorce is not same as clinical depression. The former is referred to as situational depression of adjustment disorder. However, both situational depression and clinical depression may manifest in a similar manner.

Depression after a divorce may also happen due to some other factors. These are as follows:

  • Avoiding one’s friends and family
  • Staying away from responsibility
  • Engaging in conflict or fighting
  • Performance becomes poor at workplace due to inadequate or no focus

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

How To Run A Family Business With Your Ex-Spouse

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce lawyers; The Maggio Law FirmStatistics claim that the United States alone has about one million businesses jointly run by couples. At the same time, as many as 9,00,000 divorces get filed each year in the country. Now, that also means that several marriages where a husband and wife run a joint business form a component of their marital assets will also end in divorce. But there need not be any dissolution of a business partnership just because the marriage has ended.

If a marriage gets dissolved and there is an involvement of a jointly-run business, then the options available are limited and may be associated with their own set of complications, Firstly, such a business could be sold; secondly, any one of the former spouses, who is a partner too can buy the share of the other partner; thirdly, the divorced couple can also continue running the business jointly.

Check out the following tips if you and your ex-want to run your jointly owned business even after your split.

Mutual recognition is crucial

In order to run such a business in an effective manner, both the parties should respect and realize the contributions made by the other party and acknowledge that each one of them added their valuable skills to their business. They must also recognize that such skills still have high importance and will continue benefiting their business in the future. While it is not necessary to praise your former spouse every now and then, it is also important to recognize your stakeholder’s contribution in the jointly-owned business

Role definition is a must

It is possible that the once married couples cum partners may not be attending similar meetings or continue managing the same affairs. When one is looking after business operations and the other partner is into sales, things are manageable. However, if both the partners manage the daily operations of the business, things may not work out. It is a normal phenomenon to find that divorced couples may not see eye-to-eye on several issues. Hence, it makes sense to minimize situations where direct interactions may take place.

Partners should show maturity

There are some behavioral traits, which can help to make this work. When a marriage gets dissolved it is normal for the exes to be not in the best of terms. Hence, it is important for both of them to exhibit more maturity by keeping their emotions in check so that the business benefits at the end.

To stay as business partners even after the dissolution of a marriage partnership may work reasonably well if both the partners work hard and continue contribution in the same manner as they used to while being married.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

What Are The Steps To Follow For Separating From Your Husband?

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Top Orange County divorce attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmIn case you are contemplating to separate from your husband, safety should be your most important concern. If you feel that your husband is likely to abuse you either physically or verbally, it is essential that there is a proper legal and support structure in place for you.  The following are a couple of steps you can follow for separating from your husband.

Step #1: Make sure that you are safe

You should take a few practical steps such as contacting local organizations for domestic violence or help lines. You can also get in touch with your local law enforcement agency for filing a restraining order. A crucial step many people tend to take is to stay with their close family member or a friend, in case such an option is available. These women should make it a point to let their loved ones know what is going in their lives if they have not done so already. Although, it is a tough thing to do, it is really important.

Step #2: Know how divorce and separation works

If you are planning to divorce your husband, it is important to find out how divorce and separation works in the state where you are living

Ideally, separation exists in two forms, formal and informal. If you want to go for a formal separation, you need to hire a lawyer for creating a separate agreement. The agreement will dictate and distribute the responsibilities of both the partners like payment of debts, finances, childcare and housing arrangements.

It is a form of separation for which you have to bear expenses. Hence it is imperative for you to ask a family member or a friend to help you out or you can save it. Women are unhappy and their relationships may become unhealthy as finances become a strong barrier. But you should not feel despondent as human minds are structured for coming up with innovative and creative ideas. Even if you feel that you are quite smart, there are still possibilities of a breakthrough and come up with an interesting plan to access more money.

An informal separation is the second option to separate. A court may or may not be involved in this kind of a separation. The agreement can be prepared and signed by you and your spouse. But, if you have a marriage full of conflicts, this option may not be a realistic one. But things and people can be quite unpredictable and it may still be possible to arrive at a settlement even though both of you do not share the best of terms.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Can You Mediate Custody Of Your Pet?

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmDivorce mediation is typically the process of amicably reaching a settlement to end your marriage, but you are unsure what to do about your furry friend. Under California law, pets are typically classified as personal property and there are no explicit pet custody laws like there are laws for children. If one party gets exclusive care to the pet, the other party may not be permitted to visit the pet. Pets used to classified under the same category as other pieces of personal property, but the laws have changed for the better recently.

Ownership rather than custody

There exists no provisions for pet custody in California unless the divorcing couple come to an agreement. A pet will be looked as a non-dividable piece of property. The party who does not receive exclusive care to the pet may not have any legal recourse. The best thing to do in such cases is to develop a pre-nup before marriage stating how pets would be divided.

What if I bought the pet before marriage?

In cases wherein one party purchased or adopted a pet before marriage, he or she is more likely to be granted full ownership of the pet by court as long as he or she holds no reasonable threat to the well-being of the pet. In such cases, the other party may not have any legal recourse apart from trying to prove that it is in the pet’s best interests to stay with him or her. Once again, a pre-nup would solve most of these problems without heading into any messy legal areas.

Can custody be established?

Although a court in California rarely establish or enforce pet custody, a couple can do so under their Marital Settlement Agreement. Through this, you can establish a custody and visitation schedule for your pet. The negotiation process and the terms of the settlement will often bind the parties to the agreement. This can be easily set up through your mediation process without needing to involve a court. A family court judge will sign off on the agreement as long as both of you are able to agree to it.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Child Custody For Parents With History Of Substance Abuse

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Top Orange County divorce lawyers; The Maggio Law FirmOne of the important grounds on which parents can lose custody battles is having a history of substance abuse. Parents who struggle with substance abuse often have a strained relationship with their children and it plays a major part in family court proceedings.  If a court finds a parent guilty of alcohol or drug abuse, it can affect custody.  In serious cases, Child  Protective Services (CPS) can also intervene and remove the children from the addict parent. In some cases, the parents are arrested and charged with child neglect.

Effect on custody

During a divorce proceeding, the California courts will determine different types of custody for the parents. The list includes physical, legal and joint custody. A parent who has had a history of drug abuse may find it difficult to win custody battles. If the court finds that the parent has done rehab and has stayed away from drugs for a long time, it may grant custody of the children to such a parent. If the parent is still involved in substance abuse, the court takes away the parents right over the children.

Custody disputes

California courts generally want parents to create custody agreements either on their own or through mediators. If parents are unable to come up with a custody agreement, the court steps in to resolve the matter. The very first thing that the court will look at before drawing a custody agreement is the welfare of the child. If the court finds that the children are not comfortable living with their parents, it will look into the family history of each parent. Special emphasis is put on sexual assault and drug abuse. If the court finds evidence of drug abuse in the family, it will consider it as part of custody dispute.

Effect on visitation

Parents who stay under the influence of alcohol and drugs may find it difficult to spend time with their children. Visiting hours are usually a common thing in custody and most parents are granted a certain amount of time that they can spend with their children. The court won’t usually grant visitation hours to parents with substance abuse history and even if it does, it will be a supervised visit.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Ways of Dealing with Your Unreasonable Ex-Spouse

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmFinally, your divorce paperwork is done and the divorce judgment has come through. You now feel that it is time to make a fresh beginning in your life. But your former spouse may not have been able to come to terms with being divorced and you may foresee a continuation of the conflict and tension in the coming days even though your divorce is finalized. Such unreasonable behavior from your ex may hamper your children’s peace of mind too. You do not want your or your children’s lives to be miserable. Your ex can cause troubles with some major issues like child support and child visitation after the divorce judgment comes in and treats them as tools to continue conflict even after the marriage has ended. So, here are some of the ways to deal with your unreasonable former spouse.

Do not accept defeat just because you are scared

Your former spouse would have spent quite a few years with you and so they know you in and out. They can, therefore, use your weaknesses as a tool to get the better of you? Your ex can yes your fears and apprehensions to try and accomplish what they want. In other words, your fear is a powerful tool in your ex’s hand that is hostile to you now. So, be wary of their attempts to manipulate and control you through your weaknesses. In a way, it is also a reflection on their fear for you though it may sound contradictory. Do not give your former spouse an opportunity to curb your ability to recreate a new life after your divorce.

Try to be immune to what is being said about you

Often, your ex-spouse who is hostile towards you may use nasty words not only to you but to others who may be around you. In fact, such people can use derogatory words about their former spouses to anyone who is willing to listen to them. It may not be unusual to defend yourself when you hear such tales statements being spread about you and your character. But self-defense may not put an end to such gossips. When you continue to respond, you may also appear to be unreasonable like your ex. Compassion is the best way to respond back to your vicious ex who maligns and ill-treats you.

Try to avoid conflicts

When you engage in a conflict, things may only take a worse turn. When you behave in the same manner as your unreasonable ex-does, tension may further escalate. When you receive nasty threats like they will snatch the kids from you, just refrain from responding.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

 
No Legal Advice Intended: This website includes information about legal issues and legal developments. Such materials are for informational purposes only and may not reflect the most current legal developments. These informational materials are not intended, and should not be taken, as legal advice on any particular set of facts or circumstances. You should contact an attorney for advice on specific legal problems. Full disclaimer.