How To Make Visitation Easier After Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Top Orange County divorce attorney; The Maggio Law FirmDivorce can be a chaotic stage in a couple’s life, full of upheaval, changes, and uncertainty. Additionally, when there are children in the marriages, things can be quite tough on them. If you want to make things easier and smoother for them as a parent, both you and your former spouse should collaborate in a manner to ensure that there are no hiccups in the visitation process. Divorce experts will vouch for it that parenting the kids is the most crucial task for you as a parent. So, if you and the other parent can work out things in a harmonious manner, it is possible to avoid negative, lasting and long effects on the kids.

As parents, you should demonstrate a united front so that your children feel relaxed and confident during such a trying time. Check out some of the ideas and thoughts to make sure that your child visits are a positive experience for everybody.

Be quick and punctual

It is important to be there and always be punctual with your kids These gestures will exhibit that these visits to your children are extremely precious for you. After all, kids need an assurance time and again that they are vital for you. Hence concentrate solely on them whenever you are in their company. During these visits, you should also reinforce through your actions or words that your children are your top most priority. How about spending some quality time with them by going for a bike ride with them or playing a game together? Do not focus on your text messages and emails while you are visiting your children.

Always try to be positive

Show enthusiasm whenever you discuss your next visit with them. Your plans should not get spoiled or overshadowed just because you have differences with the other parent. It may also help when you are aware of what activities the kids love doing while being with the other parent.

Stop arguing with your former spouse in front of your kids

Children may get upset when they see their parents arguing and calling names, particularly during pickup or drop off time. After all, visitation is such an occasion where you should solely focus on your little ones. Thus, it is essential for both the parents to ensure that the pickup and drop off times are pleasant and tension-free. You should try discussing your differences at a different time so that the process is a smooth one for all. Fix up meetings for discussing contentious matters with your ex-spouse or you can even hire a mediator to conduct your adult conversations in an amicable manner.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Are The Kids Suffering In A Failed Marriage?

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County child custody; The Maggio Law FirmThere are several divorcees who refer to themselves as “victims” while they were married, particularly if abuse was a reason for getting divorced from their spouses. Abuse does not only include domestic violence but it also includes a horrifying phase of dictatorship and dominance while being married. Only when there was an end to the marriage that these spouses regard themselves to be free. However, what happens when the abused now realizes that their kids are also being subject to the same sort of behavior?

Time and again, it has been seen that the courts would like to ensure that the children should be in touch with both their parents, of course for the best interests of the latter. However, there are some cases the result may be not so good since there are tales of abuse or neglect. The question is what should a suspecting parent then do?

Do not be quick to draw conclusions

If your kid shows symptoms of being neglected or being abused, it is crucial to be composed. Though, this is easier said than done since false assumptions can just aggravate the situation. Only because a spouse was abused by his or her ex-partner does not necessarily mean that the kids are being targeted now.

There are cases where a child may express unhappiness in seeking attention or to manipulate the existing situation.

Trust their gut feelings

A parent should contemplate the subtle signs that hint towards child abuse. A divorced parent should never ignore their instincts. Abused and divorced parents have already gone through abuses in the hands of their former spouses and so they have a fair idea of those symptoms. When parents separate, kids may respond differentk0ly. A divorce may not know about the kid getting nightmares all of a sudden, wetting bed or performing badly in academics may be the outcomes of being abused or separation.

Get in touch with an expert

If the child is really being abused, it may not be a wise idea to handle the situation all alone. Rather consult those people whose expertise will be helpful. There are several divorce lawyers who also specialize in matters related to child custody. So, since the safety of the child is at stake, such parents should approach those attorneys who deal with cases related to child protection services. However, there is no such assurance that such cases will come out with proofs of abused. An experienced lawyer has the necessary expertise to channelize a case towards instant action.

However, all child-related issues may not necessarily mean abuse or neglect. Both the parents are equally responsible for upholding and working in their children’s best interests. In the case of child abuse, what matters most is to trust the gut feelings and get help before things get worse.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

How To Be A Good Single Father

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

fathers rights attorneys Orange County; The Maggio Law FirmIf being a single mother is tough, being a single father is never an easy thing either. Many people think that fathers who get divorced can easily go back to their routine before they were married. But it’s not true. After becoming a father, the lifestyle and mentality of a man changes. Especially, if he’s handling kids. Most fathers who have kids need to balance time between his job and family. It becomes tough and so, here are few tips that will help fathers become better parents in the long run.

  1. Create a good schedule

For working fathers, scheduling is the most important thing. They should discuss the issue with their boss and work out a routine which includes sufficient time for both the job and kids. They can work during the time when the kids are with their mother. It should be mentioned in the parental plan and the mother must agree to the arrangement. It will help fathers create a good work-life balance.

  1. Get help

Some men like doing everything on their own but they should keep in mind that becoming an efficient father is the goal, not becoming an efficient worker. It’s alright to seek the help of near and dear ones when needed. They need someone to take care of the kids when he or his ex. is not around to help.

  1. Get organized

For fathers who are not taking care of their kids, things might look easy but be assured that it’s not. More than often, such fathers will be tempted to go back to their old ways but they should refrain from doing so. Moreover, they should keep their life organized so that they don’t suffer from emotional problems. There must be specific timings and specific order for doing everything.

  1. Teach kids

A child’s development depends on what he/she learns from the parents. Single fathers should utilize the time they spend with their kids to teach them about different things. It is one of the best ways in which a single father can make use of the time he has.

Conclusion

It’s not easy being a single father especially when someone is juggling between work and family. However, there are ways in which an individual can become an efficient father. Creating a good parental plan and spending quality time with the kids works best and helps fathers make the best of it.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

How Children Are Affected By Their Divorced Parents

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

family law attorney Orange County; The Maggio Law FirmDivorce can have a profound effect on children.  How their parents handle the divorce and both parent and co-parent can have a big impact on how well (or not) such children live through the experience and the aftermath of divorce.  Here are some points for such divorcing parents to consider when it comes to how to act regarding their children and what to avoid:

Children benefit when their divorced parents:

  • Have similar rules and disciplinary actions.
  • Prevent conflict and never result to any physical/emotional/verbal abuse of any kind.
  • Allow contact with grandparents and other extended family to avoid a further sense of loss.
  • Have a healthy and respectful method of communication.
  • Speak kindly about one another in the presence of the children.
  • Allow flexibility with visitation and give adequate notice when the children want to participate in family celebrations, events and special occasions.
  • Always keep the children’s routine and activities in mind when planning vacations, etc.
  • Provide an itinerary of travel dates, destination and lines of communication available for all parties while on vacation.

Children are harmed when their divorced parents:

  • Deny access to the children for anything other than for the safety or well-being of the children.
  • Use physical/emotional/verbal abuse of any kind.
  • Don’t keep their promises to them.
  • Make the children choose between their parents.
  • Degrade the other parent in the children’s presence or to the children.
  • Ask their children about the other parent’s activities, relationships, etc.
  • Involve the children in problems they are having with the other parent.
  • Have the children act as spies, messengers or mediators.Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.

Good Co-Parenting Should Not Occur Just During the Holidays

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmToward the end of the year, many publications offer tips on how to survive the holiday season as divorced parents. Although such annual articles provide useful advice on holiday arrangements for children, divorcing parents should aim to develop effective co-parenting strategies that extend all year long.

The holiday season is a major, emotional period of the year, but it is important to remember that co-parenting should sustain beyond Thanksgiving or Christmas.  Communication between both parents is the key to successful co-parenting. Just like during Christmas or New Year’s, children should regularly have the opportunity to spend quality time with both parents. For example, working together to set a schedule with consistent drop off and pick up times will help kids feel more secure.

Divorce is a stressful process that can make it challenging for even well-meaning parents to cooperate. However, divorced spouses must set aside any feelings of bitterness or anger in order to develop a co-parenting plan that meets the needs of their children. Modeling respect, cooperation and polite behavior sets a positive tone for co-parenting. When children see their parents getting along, they are more likely to adjust easily to divorce.

Additionally, co-parenting plans should be geared toward the age of the child. Younger children need reassurance that they have two parents who love them no matter what. On the other hand, teens might require more flexibility and freedom in their schedules to accommodate their many activities.  For some divorced spouses, even thinking of their co-parent might be painful. However, it is important to compartmentalize such feelings and commit to communicating with your ex for the benefit of your child. Co-parenting ensures that children share a close bond with both parents.

Parenting During the Holidays for Couples Going through a Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

top-Orange-County-divorce-attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmDivorce is never easy for your children.  Put yourself in the shoes of your children and think. Since the birth of your children, there has always been a set way of doing things. Family vacations, birthday parties and other ceremonies were planned as a family, and now the culture and the way of doing things will change drastically. The parents they grew to love as a couple are going to be taking care of themselves individually.

It is evident that even after divorce, active parenting needs to be done to help your children feel at home in their life with as little change as possible.  A good divorce attorney will work to ensure that you and your spouse to sit down and talk about the children’s activity calendars and your own, and help you devise an effective parenting plan. Take a look at a few aspects that will help you in devising an effective parenting plan.

Holidays

Holidays are the most emotionally charged part of a parenting plan. Most parents have the habit of spending holidays with their children and a change in that order can prove to be very difficult for the parent and the child to swallow. In such a case, flexibility helps. The only alternative to dividing the holiday time of the child among each other is trying to spend the holidays together.

In our long list of clients, we still have parents that get on well enough to enjoy the holiday season together to give the child as much of a sense of yesteryear  as he/she can be given. It is, however, not necessary. The necessary aspect in this is that whatever plan you formulate, there should always be a backup plan, to avoid undue complexities and disappointments.

Family Vacations

Most families have a healthy tradition of going out for family vacations, and we hope you continue this tradition even after divorce. After divorce though, you and your ex will need to discuss about the concept of notice. Notice is the length of time you’ll want to know before your spouse takes the kid out of town for a family vacation.

When talking about the family vacations part of your family plan, the parents should have a discussion and decide the amount of time each parent gets to spend with the children. Since both of you will want to travel and enjoy with the children, this is very important to avoid conflict down the road. On a more practical side, think about your child’s travel documents such as his/her passport and other things. Who has them and who is going to have the responsibility of making sure they are up to date and renewed?  These are all considerations that you must take into account.

 
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