Tips To Have Healthy Communication with Your Former Spouse

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Top Orange County divorce attorney; The Maggio Law FirmDo you have children from your marriage to your former spouse!  If the answer is yes, then it is extremely important to maintain a civil and courthouse relationship with your former husband/wife. It is quite necessary that the parents hide their differences and work for their children’s welfare.  In case there is resentment within you or proper communication does not exist with your ex-spouse, you will not lose anything. Rather your kids can be impacted negatively.

There are several such studies that prove divorce does not damage the kids. Rather parents who are irrational after they part ways may damage their mental states. So, try not to be a parent like that. When you put efforts to creating a productive and dress relationship with the other parent, the healing process will be after getting both the involved parties and it will be easier for you and your children to move ahead in life. The following tips are useful to keep your negative emotions toward your former spouse at bay.

Define clear-cut boundaries and try to stick to them

You should communicate with one another properly and establish proper boundaries and scopes for the responsibilities you need to carry out in the lives of your kids.  Both of you need to understand that you should value your relationship with each other for your children’s sake and hold that relationship in high regard. When you define proper boundaries about your co-parenting relationships after the divorce to move forward, it will help in creating a positive atmosphere, which will help to alleviate the stress and tension of coping up with issues related to child custody and visitation

Consult a good therapist

Are you having a tough time while discussing crucial issues related to your kids? It is better to take guidance from a third and unbiased party in such scenarios. So do not hesitate to approach a therapist, a friend or a clergy who is close to both you and your spouse.  When your former spouse is not willing to be a part of it a therapy after the divorce, you should go ahead alone for it. The conflict between both of you can reduce when you learn new and important skills and know ways of responding to situations, which may trigger a conflict. You can learn how important it is when you do not engage in a conflict with your ex-spouse and how to control your emotions of you want to retaliate when provoked. It is important to forget your past so that things go smooth in the future.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated!  Click this link to download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Steps for Getting an Annulment from Marriage

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

divorce lawyers in Orange County; The Maggio Law FirmDo you feel your marriage could be illegal, invalid or you got married by fraud? If that is the case, it will be useful for you to know how to annul your marriage. The court can declare a marriage to be null and void. This is known as an annulment of a marriage. There dab annulment of a marriage when it does not follow the criteria needed for a marriage in the United States. When an annulment is ordered, the marriage contract becomes void and it is looked upon as if the marriage never happened in the first place.

Here are the steps to get your marriage annulled:

Step 1: Collect evidence

You must mention the reason for which you perceive that your marriage is not valid in order to get your marriage annulled. The court may annul your marriage in case your marriage is deemed illegal or void for any of the reasons mentioned below.

  • Your spouse or you are yet to attain the age of consent.
  • You find out that your spouse is also married to another person.
  • You are related to your spouse.
  • You had been coerced or compelled to get married.
  • Fraudulent means were used to obtain your consent for marriage
  • You find out that your spouse is not able to consummate your marriage or is impotent.
  • You did not have a sound mind at the time of the marriage due to the effects of alcohol or drug or insanity.

Step 2: File the paperwork for your annulment

The annulment action should be filed against you in the country where you reside. In case your marriage took place in some other country, you can also file your petition there. Different state has different requirements for marriage annulments that lay down the specific guidelines to file the action and when you need to file. The requirement of the time period will depend on the laws of both the states as well as on your case. A petition for annulment is quite similar to a divorce petition. You should also complete all other necessary paperwork and furnish proof to prove your marriage is illegal or voidable. This documentation can be obtained from the website or through the clerk of your local court.

What are the other alternatives of annulment?

Similar to a divorce, an annulment takes a time of a year or so to be granted by the court. At times, getting a divorce is faster than trying to prove that your marriage was not valid. For instance, if you want to get an uncontested divorce, you need to just cite “irreconcilable differences” as the reason. The term indicates that both of you are not getting along.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated!  Click this link to download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

What Happens To The Company You Run With Your Spouse After Divorce?

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County Divorce Attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmMany married people did not even think in their wildest dreams that would get divorced one day. This is especially true when the spouses work with one another. Irrespective of what decision you arrive at, these are some of the important things you need to sort out in your business while your divorce is underway.

You need to be clear about creating divisions between emotional, financial and legal issues

Any divorce is not just a legal split between married couples. When both of you are working together, you should be serious about sorting out ways of dealing with your business, any kids you may have from your marriage and finances in the best possible manner. More importantly, you should make it a point, to begin with segregating these issues, desirable outcomes and needs.

When you are on the verge of coming out of your romantic relationship, there is a tendency seen to let personal concerns complicate the business relationships. So take some time to establish what your specific requirements and desirable outcomes are in different areas with distinct and concrete plans and goals.

Do not be on the journey all alone

Though you may be somewhat prepared now to receive financial and legal aid, remember that it will be a great morale booster when you have some people by your side to support you emotionally. Some experts even recommend counseling. In case you and your former spouse continue to work together but raking up emotional issues from the past in your work, it can be quite tough to manage a business effectively. It is recommended that you form a team comprising of professionals, family, and friends who can help you to get over your emotional and psychological dilemmas.

Take a break from your work

Irrespective of how amicably you parted from your spouse after the divorce. There is bound to be a transition period. So, take some time off from whatever you had been doing previously and try to introspect what you actually want, rather than acting on an impulse and trying to stick together stubbornly or breaking up your business. After all, time does heal everything.

Your roles need to be defined

Not only does your relationship need refining after the divorce, but you should also embark upon drawing clear boundaries around your various responsibilities and roles at work. Proper identification of the task each person will be doing needs to be properly defined. This will facilitate in ensuring that you do not give to micromanage one another.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated! Click this link to download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Key Topics You Should Discuss With Your Divorce Attorney

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce attorney; The Maggio Law FirmAlthough, it would mean more legwork and forethought on the part of the clients, yet the investment will definitely pay off when they do a little homework before approaching a divorce attorney. Such an endeavor will lead to less billable hours as well as a good agreement that will safeguard them at present and in the coming days. When you are going to meet your divorce lawyer, here are some of the things to discuss with the attorney.

Property

Any property that the couple acquires during the course of their marriage is known as a marital property. Some examples of marital property include household furnishings, furs, jewelry, furniture, cars and marital homes the owner of a particular property will be determined on where the spouse resides on a common law property or the state’s community property.

In case a married couple buys property and both their names are present on the deed or the title, both the spouses will be eligible for 50 percent share of the property in for community property. Thus assets that are acquired by the spouses during their marriage are split into equal parts irrespective of whose name is there on the deed or the title.

Child custody

This is arguably one of the highest contested issues that you will encounter while your divorce proceeding is going on. Based on the state where you reside, physical or legal custody of your kids could be awarded on the basis of the best interest that is the emotional and physical well-being of your kids.

Spousal support

One of the most controversial issues in a divorce is the alimony that is rapidly changing with time. There may be variations in the way alimony is awarded by a court depending on the state where you filed for the divorce., some of the factors, which a court may consider while determining the alimony are duration of the marriage, educational qualification of the couples, age of the couple, emotional and physical health of the couple, the couple’s standard of living while they were living together, earning capacity and the employability of the couple and who is bringing up the children.

Child support

If the parent’s divorce, it is still their legal responsibility to ensure proper financial help for their kids until the latter emancipate. In other words, child support is an obligation, which both parents should take up. A court order will clearly outline the amount that should be contributed by each parent. It can be also done through a negotiation and thereafter mentioned in a written agreement.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated!  Click this link to download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Handling Divorce Grief in Your Own Way

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce attorney; The Maggio Law FirmA divorce or a separation can indeed be an emotional and highly stressful experience in one’s life. Your entire universe may go upside down irrespective of the reason for your separation and whether you were willing for it or not. A breakup can create a host of unsettling and painful emotions. You could be not only grieving at this stage but also feeling apprehensive about your future, isolated, and baffled. However, there are several things that you can do at your end to handle your divorce grief; let this tough time pass and move on in life with a fresh vigor, optimism, and hope.

Why can divorce be full of misery for many?

Although your relationship could have been rocky for quite some time, a breakup or a divorce can be quite painful as it not only symbolizes the loss of a partnership but also of the commitments and dreams both you and your partner had shared. Any love marriage begins with a lot of excitement and positive hopes for a bright future. But the moment a relationship crumbles, people go through profound disillusionment, grief, anxiety, and stress. A divorce or breakup throws you into unexplored territories. There are so many changes in your life with respect to your responsibilities and routine, relationship with friends and extended family, your identity and even your home. A divorce can also introduce a great sense of uncertainty about what lies ahead in life.

Handling divorce or breakup grief

  • Understand and appreciate that there is no harm in having different feelings. After all, it is not unusual to feel tired, angry, confused, frustrated and/or unhappy.
  • All these emotions can be pretty intense. There could be anxiousness within you feeling apprehensive about your future. You should start accepting that feelings like these are bound to change over a period of time. Although your relationship with your spouse was unhealthy, it can be scary to venture into an unknown arena.
  • You deserve a break now, so go for it. You should allow yourself the luxury of functioning or feeling somewhat less than your usual level for certain period. It is possible that your work productivity is lower than usual at this crucial phase of your life. Plus, you may not be affectionate towards others in the manner you used to be for a while. After all, you do not have any kind of superpower. So take time to go through the healing process, re-energize, and regroup.
  • Do hand holding at this critical phase of your life. You should share your emotions either with family and close friends who can help you to get over your grief during this period. Try to be a part of a support group so that you can speak to people who are going through a similar situation.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Misconceptions About California Spousal Support

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Divorce attorneys in Orange County; The Maggio Law FirmMany couples facing divorce in California have certain false notions ingrained in their minds related to spousal support (alimony) payments under the laws of California. Check out some of the most common misconceptions about spousal support payments below.

# 1: Receiving alimony payments is a compulsory right

You need to realize that it may not be mandatory for your former spouse to pay you alimony while your marriage gets dissolved or during proceedings of legal separation. In fact, the reverse may be true. The final discretion lies with the courts on whether to direct for spousal support or deny it altogether. There should be a cautious consideration and evaluation of the legal factors to assess whether the earning capability of both the involved parties are sufficient to continue with the same standard of living as they had while their marriage was intact. It should be done before a court denies or orders spousal support. Some of the factors that are considered by the court for making a decision are as follows:

  1. How much contribution was made by the supported party for attaining an education, a career position, a license by the said supporting party or training.
  2. The degree to which the future or present earning capacity of the supported party is impaired due to the unemployment periods, which were incurred while the marriage was on so that the supported party could spend time to discharge domestic responsibilities.
  3. The supported party’s marketable skills and the job potential for those skills.

Other factors that the court must consider are as stated in California Family Code section 4320.

#2: A computer program can determine the “permanent” (long-term) spousal support amount to be made

You should know that a computer support program used to determine temporary spousal support and child support such as DissoMaster or Xspouse cannot determine how much alimony payment you should receive long-term, i.e. beyond your divorce.  After all, Family Code section 4320 must be considered by the court to ascertain the amount of spousal support. The misconception originates from the knowledge that computer programs, which enable a judge to calculate child support and temporary spousal support has a function for determining, long-term spousal support too.

#3: Spousal supported is assured for life after ten years

Just because you are married for 10 years or more does not guarantee that the other party has to pay you spousal support indefinitely or for life.  The spouse receiving support has to make efforts to become self-supporting.  A marriage of more than 10 years in California simply means that the court has continuing jurisdiction over the issue of spousal support but the circumstances of each case during the marriage and afterwards play a big role in determining how long spousal support payments may be.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Activities To Engage In or Discard to Lower Divorce-Related Stress

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce lawyers; The Maggio Law FirmFrom the time you have filed a divorce petition, there are lots to worry about. You are still figuring out how to move your kids between two different households, trying to coordinate with your divorce lawyer or a mediator or both, handling your children’s emotional needs and coping up with the emotional stress you could be going through, and so on. Even experts say that a divorce is one of the biggest stressors of life. Hence, it is imperative that you put your best foot forward to ensure that your stress is minimized. There are certain activities you should drop and certain others you should continue doing to deal with your stress.

WHAT TO DISCARD: 

  • Conventional dinners

Drop the practice of having traditional dinners. Instead, try to go for snack dinners. Take out your plate and fill them up with healthy food products such as peanut butter, rolls, peanuts, grapes, apple slices, applesauce, and cheese slices. There should be a proper ratio of carbs, vegetables/fruits, and proteins in your diet. Thus, you now have a well-balanced but easy to gather dinner ready within a few minutes.

  • Electronic gadgets

It has been often proved that certain devices are not good to depend on as babysitters. However, at times, when children are thoroughly bored, the stress level of the mom is maximum or there is a doctor’s appointment at the last moment, some devices may help. But over-dependence on electronic devices is not good for health in the long run. Try to avoid them just before your bedtime as the blue light being emitted from them may cause havoc to your kid’s sleep.

WHAT TO CONTINUE: 

  • Chatting with your children

By this time your children are aware that you are going through a rough patch. When you validate their feelings and discuss issues with them openly in a loving and positive way, you will enjoy a healthy relationship with them during this tough time.

  • Bedtime routine with kids

The right kind of bedtime routine you follow with your kids can make them relaxed while being a great stress-buster for them. Maintaining a consistent schedule even while you are stressed can bring in comfort while minimizing stress-related insomnia. Researches have proved that it can alleviate the stress levels of the moms too.

  • Have dates with family at night

You can have family date nights with your children though there could be financial constraints now. However, many big cities offer plenty of free activities that you can indulge in with your children. The least you can do is go out for a picnic in the nearby park or take them out for a walk after completing dinner.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Questions To Ask Yourself Before Filing For Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmYour marriage is crumbling and you are in a big dilemma. It could be possible that you are the person to finally decide whether you should split or stay together. Alternatively, it is likely that your spouse told you that he or she wants a divorce from you.

There are many articles or sources that unfortunately make the assumption that when a couple has stated they want to split, both of them are prepared for a divorce, However, many divorce coaches and professional therapists will tell you that it may not be true for many of the cases that they have come across in the course of their careers. Typically, when a couple initiates the divorce process, it is possible that one or both of them may not be completely prepared for their divorce. The decision for procuring a divorce can be one of the most critical decisions for a couple to arrive at since its consequences can continue for their entire lifetime or for several years. The decision is so crucial that needs a higher level of attention than is typically given by the professionals or the concerned couples.  Here are some questions to ask yourself before taking the final plunge:

Are you still attached to your spouse emotionally?

Many couples are found to declare their intention of a divorce though they may still nurture strong feelings for one another. However, they have been going through a power struggle in their relationship leading to a lack of closeness and intimacy. If it is the same case for you, it will be better to work with your spouse on your relationship before calling it quits, or else your feelings of agony and loss may get the better of you and you are likely to be more miserable once your divorce comes through.

Are you simply threatening your spouse or really prepared for divorce?

A spouse may often threaten divorce, particularly when there are heated marital arguments. Check out some of the following reasons:

  • A serious wake-up call hinting that the marriage could be faltering
  • Out of frustration and fury
  • You want that it is time your partner takes you seriously and you are looking for a real change
  • To acquire control and power over your spouse so that you can make them see your perspective

What is your key reasons why you might want a divorce?

If you possess any other agenda apart from splitting, it is a hint that you are yet to be ready to go for a divorce. In case you are nurturing a hope that your partner will change through the divorce and be nicer to you, you should recognize how much hurt you can cause by taking such a drastic step.  Consider marital counseling first.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Dealing With Divorce When Mental Illness Is Involved

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce lawyers; The Maggio Law FirmIt can be a difficult and complex decision to divorce your spouse, who is ailing from a mental illness. The decision frequently involves ensuring that proper diagnosis and treatment are carried out for the affected spouse first. The healthy spouse also has to think about the logistics issues while separating and have a check on the emotions that they have for splitting from somebody who is not well. Plus, there could be strong guilt and social pressure that may act as an obstacle to take the final call on divorce. Perhaps, it is the outcome of exchanging wedding vows in a traditional ceremony.
While breakups are not easy, ending a relationship with a spouse suffering from a mental illness or a personality disorder can delay the decision of opting for a divorce. Now, that can be quite crazy.

Indecisiveness about taking the final call

There are several in incidents when guilty wives or empathetic husbands are in a strong dilemma to come out of an abusive relationship or an impaired spouse. There can be various causes such as mental illness, addiction to sex, alcohol or drugs. The struggle is a tough one since they may still have tender feelings for their spouses and also value their marriage vows. However, often such feelings are one-sided.

Such women and men keep searching for answers painstakingly on how to cope up with a spouse who is a bipolar personality a passively aggressive partner or a narcissist. These people seek out reasonable techniques to handle unpleasant situations. In a majority of cases, the area of concern remains the same although the actual diagnosis may vary. After all, they have to handle a partner who is in a position to appreciate reality and hence fairness, honesty or compromise may seem to be a far-fetched dream.

Challenges faced by spouses of mentally ill partners

Aggressive litigation and stonewalling are a couple of big challenges that are frequently faced by the spouses. It is often believed that people try to hire an attorney who is like them. So, it is likely that a vengeful partner may end up hiring a divorce attorney who is hostile and aggressive. Such attorneys can aggravate the illness of their clients. Additionally, when these clients have more wealth, they can get nastier and eventually end up destroying their families.

Although courts may not be of much help even now to protect such families, professionals like Orange County divorce mediators, coaches and therapists can create tools for helping people cope up with their high-conflict divorces.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Advice for Stay-At-Home Mothers Facing Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Child custody attorneys Orange County; The Maggio Law FirmBoth you and your spouse have had your own distinct roles when you were a mom who stayed at home. While your husband went out to work, you did your part inside the house and things were going on nicely. But now that you are going through the divorce process, you may want to do various things to ensure that your divorce is a smooth one. After all, you have to get ready for your life ahead after your divorce. Check out the following smart tips while facing a divorce.

Tip 1: Get in touch with an experienced financial advisor

When you consult an experienced financial advisor, they can be of a big help to assess your potential settlement choices from the perspective of future planning as well as cash on hand. He or she can guide you in investing any non-retirement or retirement funds that you get as a settlement amount from your divorce. A financial advisor can also assist you in putting together a budget that can help you to find out the amount of money you will require after the divorce and often helps you to stay away from any kind of financial difficulty.

Tip 2: Consult a good accountant

You may have had an accountant who guided both you and your spouse when you were married. However, now that you are getting divorced, you will need an account exclusively of your own.

You should have an accountant of your own for various reasons. An important reason is there could be certain occasions during a divorce when you will need an accountant for reviewing your potential settlements. An accountant can also help you in understanding the tax consequences while guiding you in matters that are usually in your interests. So it is time you have a different accountant of your own and stop sharing the sand accountant as that of your husband.

Tip 3: Get your house appraised

A big mistake some couples commit is when they let a mediator guess the worth of the home they were living in. It could be highly likely that your house is the biggest asset for you. Hence it makes sense to get it valued properly rather than relying on certain websites who are into conducting valuation of the properties. When you fail to do so, you may end up in different types of troubles as Internet values may not be the actual ones. In case you are thinking of purchasing the home from your spouse or vice versa, you may have to ascertain that the sale price of the property is a proper and fair one.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

 

 
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