“The state has a great interest in having those who want the benefits of parenthood to take on the responsibilities and obligations that go with parenthood,” said Pacific McGeorge School of Law Professor Larry Levine in Sacramento.

In the latest case of assigning the parent child custody, a woman who did not adopt her ex-girlfriend’s kids was ruled as their parent because she provided for them monetarily, tended to them when they were sick and even volunteered at their school. Plus, she could not adopt the children as she was in the Air Force and did not want to violate the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy that was only recently lifted. Because she was carrying out the parental responsibilities and rights, she was now deemed their parent.

Child custody decisions are, therefore, looking more at who is truly functioning as the parent. Adults who do not have blood ties or adopted a child used to be classified as “legal strangers”, but if they are carrying out the role of a parent, courts will want to keep what is in the best interest of the child. A child-centered approach versus a child as property mentality is what the courts are shifting too. Who do the children rely on? Who do they think their parents are?

This can have a big impact on not only child custody, but matters of child support. The state wants to side with whom will provide the best health, education, and home environment for the child if both parties cannot agree on joint custody. The courts really take each decision on a case by case basis, as no two scenarios are exactly the same. The biggest constant is that they will rule in the best interests of the children. An experienced child custody lawyer can help the individual who seeks child custody to create an agreement that upholds what is best for the children and takes into consideration all the actions they carry out for the children.

Gerald A. Maggio is an Orange County divorce attorney, in Irvine, California. The Maggio Law Firm specializes in divorce and family law. To learn more about Orange County divorce lawyer, Gerald A. Maggio, visit Maggiolawfirm.com.

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A mediator will provide guidance to reach a resolution on the issues that still need to be worked out. They bring critical negotiation skills to listen to each party’s interests and concerns, and then help to find a common resolution that each person can agree to. The mediator is a neutral party, and oftentimes an attorney, so they will be able to provide you with a background of what is legally permissible. When an impasse is reached or negativity stalls progress, the mediator knows how to get the conversation back on track. For some couples this means not doing the mediation all in one day. But in two to three sessions, you can resolve all the big priorities of the dissolution.

It is important for you to know what your future needs are so that child support, spousal support, and the division of assets and debts are done to help you find as stable of a future as possible. What many people like about mediation is that it allows you to express your values and opinions. A litigated divorce, in contrast, follows a more strict formula and what some call a “one size fits all” approach. Mediation is more sensible for two adults who can be in the same room together and hash out the details. You can take into account the budgets you live with everyday and the future needs you and the kids will have. Mediators also know how to look for tax savings and alternative settlement options to increase the chances of financial stability post-divorce.

Couples who have been through a mediated divorce say that it is far better to have the two people who intimately know their finances and assets decide how to dissolve the marriage versus a judge or pair of attorneys. At the end of the mediation process, a final divorce settlement will be created and approved by the courts. Months down the road, you will thank yourself for doing mediation. The money you saved can go towards the kids, a savings or emergency fund, or establishing yourself in a new home.

Gerald A. Maggio is an Orange County divorce attorney, in Irvine, California. To learn more about Orange County divorce lawyer, Gerald A. Maggio, visit Maggiolawfirm.com.

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As these attitudes have shifted, marriage has become less of a focus. Out of wedlock babies have increased, though. Being a good parent, to Millennials, does not necessarily mean that marriage is a must. Many couples are choosing to delay marriage, live together, and break away from the social norms of their parents.

Even though marriage is delayed or not a preference, when a couple has a child it can make them refocus their priorities. Some decide to create a cohabitation agreement to help spell out their responsibilities and rights as parents and a couple. This can help protect each person and set up a framework should something happen to one of the parents. A modern-day cohabitation agreement includes:
each person’s parental rights and duties
financial obligations
property rights
health care directives
estate planning and inheritance wishes
how long the agreement is good for and/or how it can be revised

For some Millennials, this is a good warm-up to getting married. The agreement helps safeguard each person yet also sets out how each person will be looked after. As a couple establishes more assets, property, and moves up in the work world, it can be a critical document to help them create a prenuptial agreement once it is time to get married.

Sometimes, though, the cohabitation and relationship does not work out, even if there is a child that both parents mutually love and want to care for. In these instances, the cohabitation agreement can provide a path for the main caregiver to receive child support. It will also help to modify each parent’s duties and set up a visitation agreement that both parties can agree to. For couples that can amicably agree on the parenting agreement, litigation is not necessary. A family law attorney can assist in creating a plan that the courts will approve for child custody and the visitation schedule.

Gerald A. Maggio is an Orange
County family law attorney, in Irvine, California. To learn more about Orange County family law attorney, Gerald A. Maggio, visit Maggiolawfirm.com.

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Checking account and credit card statements can reveal a lot. Look at each line item for odd spending habits. The biggest warning signs can be:
Places that do not fit your spouse’s personality. If your spouse did not dare eat sushi, for example, but then charges start to rack up, this is a sign.
Excessive purchases at bars, restaurants, jewelry, flower, and other gift shops
Charges from hotels
Higher gas costs than normal
Extra cell phone charges or other electronic purchases that are excessive note that your spouse could have purchased equipment to communicate with the person they are seeing
Vacation and luxury purchases when your spouse is supposed to be on a work trip
Charges from oddly named businesses
Membership dues to video chat companies and dating websites

It can also be a big sign if you are used to receiving these statements at home and suddenly they are not appearing. Be sure you can still access these financial accounts online to see if they have been re-routed to a post office box or if you have been locked out of your own account. These are tell-tale signs that your spouse is up to no good.

Banks also offer a feature to receive text alerts. For joint accounts that you are suspicious your spouse is using to cheat with, set this up. You will get texted in real time and the spouse will not be able to make up an excuse so fast as to what the charge was for. It is also advised to order a copy of your credit report that you are allowed to get for free one time a year. Go over it carefully to see if there are new accounts, inquiries, large balances, or other items that you have no idea about.

Be sure to keep all paperwork of the wrongdoing so when you confront the spouse or meet with a divorce attorney, you have as much evidence as possible. It is also important to start a savings fund so that you can start a new chapter on your own. If there are co-signed accounts that you are worried about getting depleted or charged, call to get your name removed or close the account.

Gerald A. Maggio is an Orange
County divorce attorney, in Irvine, California. To learn more about Orange County divorce lawyer, Gerald A. Maggio, visit Maggiolawfirm.com.

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With the expertise of a family law attorney, disputes about spending, the kids, the family business, and even how many guys’ fishing trips and visits by the mother-in-law can be defined. Half of all family law attorneys surveyed nationwide have noted an increase of postnuptial agreements in the last few years.

For couples with issues that are causing a strain, the postnuptial can provide them a way to reset their behaviors and get back on a level playing field. If a budget has never been used in the household, this is a good time to set one and hold each spouse to it. If child raising duties need to be better divided, this is an opportunity to have each parent take their fair share.

The postnuptial agreement process will inform both spouses about each other’s financial status if they are not aware of it previously. For some couples, this is particularly helpful as it highlights what could occur if divorce were to happen. Hefty spousal support, child support, and liquidation of investments and savings could have occurred if the two had not worked hard to save their marriage.

This is exactly the premise behind getting a postnuptial agreement. The reality of what the couple has worked hard to create together could be divided if they split. If they can use the postnup opportunity to reframe their attitude toward each other and how they interact on a daily basis, the marriage can get back to its better days.

And if the postnuptial agreement does not work months or years down the line, the couple will already have some understanding of the family law system. They will have utilized one aspect to save their marriage before they call it quits.

Gerald A. Maggio is an Orange
County family law attorney , in Irvine, California. To learn more about Orange County family law attorney , Gerald A. Maggio, visit Maggiolawfirm.com.

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Cohabitation agreements, whether for opposite or same sex couples, define all the key financial and living decisions for the couple. It will detail:
- Disclosure of financial status to include all assets and debts
- Division of living expenses and insurance needs
- Property ownership
- Inheritances, trusts, and retirement plans
- Responsibilities for child custody, health care directives, and last wishes
- Duration of the agreement

Family law attorneys highly recommend getting a cohabitation agreement. If an individual were to be incapacitated, the other person would not have a right to make health care decisions. The responsibility and decisions would be made by family members, and this can sometimes lead to conflicts that are expensive and time consuming. And should the person die, the other partner would not be able to get their share of any assets.

Attorneys often work with clients who claim they were supposed to be supported financially from the other partner but after a breakup were nowhere to be found. If the couple had a cohabitation agreement beforehand, there would be no misunderstandings on the financial agreements and duties, and it would be enforceable by the courts.

“Cohabitation is continuing to increase in popularity,” says sociologist Susan Brown, co-director of the National Center for Family & Marriage Research. “Marriage is something that is more optional now and it’s also something increasingly people do later in the life course.”

For many people, they do not want the complications that come with getting married, but still want to love, care, and define their responsibilities. The Pew Study, “Living Together: The Economics of Cohabitation” shows that 58 percent of women lived with an opposite-sex unmarried partner in 2006-2008. As marriage becomes less of a social must, but people are still living together for many years, it calls for the need to have a written understanding of each other’s responsibilities and duties.

In California, Riverside family law attorney Gerald Maggio is skilled in helping an individual create an amicable, enforceable cohabitation agreement with their partner. The Maggio Law Firm is experienced in creating a well-thought out agreement to protect both parties and prepare each person for all anticipated events that could occur.

For more information:
The Maggio Law Firm, Inc.
www.maggiolawfirm.com

Orange County Office
8105 Irvine Center Drive, Suite 600
Irvine, CA 92618
(949) 553-0304
(949) 553-0346 Fax

Riverside Office
3750 University Avenue, Suite 670
Riverside, CA 92501

Gerald A. Maggio is an Orange
County divorce attorney, in Irvine, California. To learn more about Orange County divorce lawyer, Gerald A. Maggio, visit Maggiolawfirm.com.

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“Being the one to cook the meals, prepare the lunches, help with the homework, buy the birthday presents for your children’s friends, make play dates, drop them off at school, take them to the doctor – without an outlet or someone else to fall back on if you’re tired – is part of building a deeper connection with your children,” said Jonathan Weiler and Anne J. Menkens in a recent article about the benefits gained in a child-parent relationship after divorce. “…A newfound sense of capability might make you less overwhelmed by the challenges of dealing with your kids, thereby freeing you up to enjoy the experience more.”

As a single parent, chances are that you will be more heavily involved than before in your children’s health and education decisions as well as social activities. The custody and parenting agreement will define the mutual decisions you and your ex have for these aspects of your child’s life. As time goes on, the decisions and child support might need to be modified. Getting legal advice to see about these possibilities or making a move to change them is highly advised.

Throughout it all, it is recommended to focus on the best interests of the child. Child advocates say to never make your kids messengers to the other spouse. Do not put a child in the center of dispute you have with the ex. Do not say negative things about your ex in front of the child.

“Kids are impressionable and you can make your child hate your ex-spouse if you want to, but it won’t bring you closer to your child,” said Weiler and Menkens. “If, on the other hand, if you know your ex-spouse is a good parent (even if a bad spouse) and that your child loves him or her, try praising that parent. Building your child’s esteem for her other parent will be one of the best gifts you can give to your child.”

In California, Irvine child custody attorney Gerald Maggio is skilled in helping a parent achieve the best child custody outcome and has resources in the area for parents to work on their parenting skills. The Maggio Law Firm is experienced in maintaining and preserving the crucial parent-child relationship. They are well versed in child support and modifications, divorce, and alternative conflict resolution.

For more information:
The Maggio Law Firm, Inc.
www.maggiolawfirm.com

Orange County Office
8105 Irvine Center Drive, Suite 600
Irvine, CA 92618
(949) 553-0304
(949) 553-0346 Fax

Riverside Office
3750 University Avenue, Suite 670
Riverside, CA 92501

Gerald A. Maggio is an Orange
County divorce attorney, in Irvine, California. To learn more about Orange County divorce lawyer, Gerald A. Maggio, visit Maggiolawfirm.com.

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During divorce proceedings, an individual can explain and show how credit card transactions did not benefit him or her. Placing a freeze on credit cards can be beneficial so that a vindictive spouse does not ruin your credit history. In general, the debt accumulated during the marriage will be divided just like the assets – down the middle. If debts can be traced back to one person’s habits or interests, there can be exceptions.

Many people forget to take their name off mutual credit cards, and this can come back to haunt them months and years in the future. Remember that a divorce decree does not actually transfer the debts in one person’s name; individuals must call the creditor to make the name change and any relevant change of contact information. If one person fails to pay the card, but both names remain on the account, the creditors can come after both accountholders. Your credit score can drop dramatically and take a lot of effort to get back up. So it’s wise to remove your name as soon as possible to prevent harm. It’s also good to do this with bank accounts so that you don’t find that an ex cleaned it out.

Getting legal guidance from a qualified divorce attorney can help individuals get a hold of their finances and assets, and properly determine what is a fair child custody and parenting agreement. An attorney will keep your financial matters confidential.

In California, Riverside divorce attorney Gerald Maggio helps clients determine the best course of action to preserve their finances during and after a divorce proceeding. The Maggio Law Firm has helped thousands of clients with their divorce, division of debts and assets, and parenting matters.
For more information:
The Maggio Law Firm, Inc.
www.maggiolawfirm.com

Orange County Office
8105 Irvine Center Drive, Suite 600
Irvine, CA 92618
(949) 553-0304
(949) 553-0346 Fax

Riverside Office
3750 University Avenue, Suite 670
Riverside, CA 92501

Gerald A. Maggio is an Orange
County divorce attorney, in Irvine, California. To learn more about Orange County divorce lawyer, Gerald A. Maggio, visit Maggiolawfirm.com.

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Dividing the assets becomes a conversation between the couple, and is given the approval with a divorce attorney’s input versus in a courtroom with a judge deciding each individual’s share. “Divorce will always be a tough, emotional journey, but now people are being more practical and pragmatic about how to bring resolution,” said Karen Stewart, a divorce and relationship expert. “Boomers are looking for alternatives to the standard ‘hire two lawyers to fight it out’; people recognize the need to bring the marriage to an end in a less destructive way.”

When both adults can see the divorce akin to the end to a business relationship, they can remove the spite and stress that often leads people to court. Couples can expedite the divorce process with collaborative law and lessen a lot of the stress. When couples can focus on divorce in a business-like fashion they can remove themselves emotionally. Every divorce lawyer has a story about a client that fought for weeks over some prized possession that had no economic value and delayed divorce proceedings.

“Women tend to be completely paranoid about being left to starve and become bag ladies,” said Stewart. “Men are typically worried about being taken to the cleaners. Our job is to come up with a solution that is going to make both individuals leave feeling comfortable and secure.”

And that’s the essence of collaborative law. When a couple can sit down and divide property, assets, and mutually determine what is best for their children in custody and child support matters, each adult can be better off financially and emotionally.

The Maggio Law Firm has many years of experience in divorce and collaborative law. Irvine divorce attorney Gerald Maggio is known for his legal expertise and helping clients with all the difficult issues that are raised in a divorce. Maggio is active in the Orange County Bar Association, Los Angeles County Bar Association, the Riverside County Bar Association, the Orange County Barristers, and the Irvine Chamber of Commerce.
For more information:
The Maggio Law Firm, Inc.
www.maggiolawfirm.com

Orange County Office
8105 Irvine Center Drive, Suite 600
Irvine, CA 92618
(949) 553-0304
(949) 553-0346 Fax

Riverside Office
3750 University Avenue, Suite 670
Riverside, CA 92501

Gerald A. Maggio is an Orange
County divorce attorney, in Irvine, California. To learn more about Orange County divorce lawyer, Gerald A. Maggio, visit Maggiolawfirm.com.

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The court will approve a parenting agreement that lets the child equitably have a relationship with each parent, unless there is concern for the child’s safety and wellbeing. But oftentimes long after the agreement is approved and the child has been shuttled between both parents, a conflict arises. How each parent treats the other parent can play a huge role on how the child perceives the split parenting time.

“Somehow, children get the message that going to the other parent’s house after a separation or divorce is optional,” says Esq. Bill Eddy of the High Conflict Institute. “If you give them a choice and imply it will be a negative experience, any healthy child is going to want to avoid it. Since children have so few options in their lives, if you give them an option to avoid something negative, they will avoid it.”

Eddy recommends focusing on how you speak to your child to make the transition from one parent to another. Instead of “You have to go” or “Your dad or the court is forcing you to go”, say “I expect you to go see your dad”. Expect is a much more positive word than the perception of conflict that a child will create if they hear the word force. It’s much like forcing your child to eat broccoli or brush his teeth; kids do not want to be pushed into anything.

“When given a choice, many children who live in two households would rather stay where they are at the moment,” said Eddy. “It doesn’t mean that they don’t want to see their Mom or Dad, it just means that they don’t want to stop what they’re doing, get up, pack up, and go somewhere else. Once they get to the other house, they act just the same way. Don’t take it personally: most of the time children just prefer where they are and what they’re doing. They live in the present.”

Equally as important is how each parent converses with each other. Arguments and fights can cause confusion, resistance, and abnormal behaviors from a child. Kids mimic their parents, often without knowing why, so many family therapists recommend treating your ex as if it is a business partnership. The goal of the “business” should be your child’s wellbeing. Speak to your ex like you would a colleague with neutral, respectful, diplomatic language. Children who can have a regular schedule with each parent and similar rules at each household will greatly benefit mentally and socially from a consistent routine. Everything doesn’t have to be the same at each household, but parents should work to agree on important things like homework, bedtime, activities, and big decisions involving medical and education needs.

In California, Riverside family law attorney Gerald Maggio helps individuals create a parenting agreement that the courts will approve and benefits the child. The Maggio Law Firm is experienced in joint custody matters, child support, and can help modify the parenting agreement should a change be needed years after a divorce.

Gerald A. Maggio is an Orange
County divorce attorney, in Irvine, California. To learn more about Orange County divorce lawyer, Gerald A. Maggio, visit Maggiolawfirm.com.

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