Ways to Protect Yourself From An Unreasonable Former Spouse

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmYou have signed the paperwork and have been through with the process of divorce, it is now final. Moreover, it is a fresh beginning for you and time you move ahead once again.  However, that may not be the case always for all. There are many such instances when a former spouse has been able to take this transition with a punch of salt and may behave irrationally or harshly. In such cases, the conflict between the two may continue even after the finalization of their divorce and unreasonable behavior may prevail. When your former spouse is unreasonable, they may make your children and you quite miserable. If there is a conflict between your former partner and you, they can use issues like child support and child visitations tools. While it may not be possible to control such an errant partner’s behavior, you can still how you should respond to such behavior. It is better to take a proactive stand while interacting with your unreasonable spouse than giving in and giving up.

Try not to engage into conflict with your ex

The conflict may become more severe if you continue to engage in it. When your ex-makes unreasonable demand sand you respond defensively, you are actually rising to the bait and the conflict may further escalate. In case your spouse sends you harsh emails with threats of separating your kids from you or writes something that makes you feel concerned, do not give any reply. When you do not respond, your ex will be stopped in his/her tracks.

Do not feel concerned or bother yourself with what is being said

Certain words can be quite hurtful. Your hostile former spouse might bad mouth you and spread nasty things about your behaviors and character. You may naturally feel inclined to retaliate to such lies about you. However, just responding to their words would not put an end to those lies. When you lash out the world may feel you are being unreasonable too.

Do not surrender just because you are scared

Your ex-spouse is the person who perhaps knows you the most. Such knowledge may give them the necessary weapon to torture you. Your fears and weaknesses are known to them and they can push these buttons to demand what they desire. Controlling you could be a powerful tool in their hands. A hostile ex may manipulate situations to their advantage by making you anxious and controlling you. So, do not let them use your weaknesses and fears to their advantage and try to rise above your fears and apprehensions.

Getting an Orange County divorce in California can be complicated!  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

How to Move Forward With Your Decision to Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce lawyers; The Maggio Law FirmYou may be in a state a shock and stuck with going ahead with your divorce for several reasons. Fear is one of the prime reasons that may make you feel uncertain and hesitant about your big decision. After all, divorce is a big change in one’s life where no one likes to be in. It will make you come out of your comfort zone that you had been used to and were familiar with. No matter what kind of emotions you are going through, it is crucial to know that what you are going through is not unusual. But such dilemma and emotions are temporary in nature.  As you take your initial steps in this journey, you will be able to have a control over these feelings and the healing process will gradually start.

Below are some of the ways to move forward with your decision to get divorced.

List down all those negative emotions that are making you indecisive and confused

You should try identifying and making a list of your top three fears that are holding you back to proceed with the divorce. There is no harm in feeling the fear but list down the steps you should take so that they do not become a reality. Finding out solutions is the only method to combat fear.

List down all the reasons that will point out why divorce is the best possible step for you

Each human being is unique with his/her own skills, talents and strengths. As you move towards the decision of taking a divorce from your partner remember that you have every right to do something that is in your best interests. You will feel more motivated and strong when you concentrate on your strengths rather than focusing on your fears. It is important to have faith in yourself and be prepared to cope with whatever awaits you while your divorce proceedings continue. Try to overcome your fears by embracing your potential.

Have a proper support system around you so that you can move forward with confidence

Your close friends and supportive family members are going to be a great resource of strength while the Orange County divorce proceedings are continuing. So, surround yourself with people who you think will stick to you in your difficult times since you could be feeling vulnerable and somewhat lost. You need love and affection, which your support system can give you in abundance. When you start leaning on your dear ones during such trying times, your transition period will be much easier and you can attain your goals with great ease. So, after you have your network of support system in place, have found out your biggest fears and learned how to fight them, it is time to get ready to end your marriage.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated!  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Why Do You Need To Have An Agreement For Legal Separation?

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce lawyers; The Maggio Law FirmMany legal experts feel that when a couple decides to separate, they should have a proper agreement on legal separation. After an agreement is signed by a judge, the couple will get a temporary order from the concerned courts it is an order that mentions the responsibilities of both the parties while they live separately and prior to the finalization of their divorce. However, if the legally separated couple does not want to proceed with the divorce, either party can as, their divorce lawyer to keep the divorce on hold.  But even while being legally separated, the spouses can enjoy similar legal protections, courtesy to that temporary court order in states that allow legal separation. Here are some of the reasons why it really makes sense to have an agreement while being legally separated.

For setting up a schedule for child visitation

When you have kids from your marriage, it is imperative to fix a schedule for the visitation of the other parent though you live separately. An agreement for legal separation can define such a schedule and also outline who will have access to the kids when they are in the custody of your spouse, where the kids will reside if they are not given to you Andorra they can travel or not even though you will not give consent to do so. Thus, such an agreement can help you to protect your parental rights.

When you need child support

In case there are children, you can only demand the child support with the help of a court order. When the state where you reside permits legal separation, the calculation for the child support can be done as per the child support guidelines of that state and becomes a part and parcel of the legal separation agreement between you and the other parent.

When there is big conflict between you and your spouse

When your spouse and you are having high conflicts and it is not possible for both of you to have a healthy dialogue with one another, such an agreement will highlight what should be expected from both of you while you are legally separated. When such clauses are mentioned in your legal separation agreement, further conflicts can be avoided and communication between the two of you will be better.

Low trust factor

When you are not sure to trust your spouse’s verbal commitments, a legal separation agreement can come to your rescue. Such agreements can be witnessed and signed by an unbiased third party or even a judge and can be produced in a court if your spouse violates any clause therein.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated! Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Tips for Moving On From the Gray Divorce of Your Parents

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmIt is a fact that the number of “gray divorces” has grown at an alarming rate, especially in the last twenty years. And yet, there are very few guidelines on how the adult children from these divorced families should cope up with their changing family structures and mental states. There are many such adult children who face loyalty conflicts since they are often compelled to take sides. And although these children may not have to take sides, they can be stressful while making an attempt to maintain proper boundaries, particularly when their parents are constantly at loggerheads with each other.

Check out the following tips if you are one of these adult children who want to move on from your parents’ gray divorce:

Control your urge to act as a friend, parent or mediator for your divorced parents

It is natural to feel sympathy when either your parents or both of them request you to resolve their conflicts or are expecting you to act as their mediator or counselor. But you need to be out of such parental disputes and let them know about your decision in clear terms.

 Create and sustain healthy boundaries

When both or either of your divorced parents are too much dependent and constantly want your support or are revealing excessive personal information to you, they should be told about your exact feelings. Likewise, if one parent is criticizing the other parent in front of you, it is time that you tell them not to do it.

Share activities with them that are enjoyable to all of you

You should not let the divorce of your patents determine your relationship with them. Make it a point to enjoy activities together and tell them that you do not want to discuss the matter of their divorce with them.

Your emotions should be expressed to your parents calmly and honestly

Adult children in general and daughters, in particular, may go through a lot of emotional upheavals when they get to know about the impending split of their parents. You should let your parents know what you feel about the entire situation rather than suffering silently.

Be cordial to both your extended families

In case you are serious about keeping an amicable relationship with the families of both your parents, then let your parents know this goal of yours. It is normal for adult children from gray divorces to feel an urge to develop strong bonds with their parents’ extended family members as it offers them the feeling of a closeness and belonging.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated!  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

What Are The Grounds To Annul A Marriage In California?

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Top Orange County divorce attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmThere are widespread misperceptions about a marriage annulment in the state of California. The reason for this is many popular cultural beliefs and religion has managed to throw inaccurate and differing views on annulments, especially with respect to the family law. There is a similarity between a divorce and an annulment in a way since both of them determine a couple’s marital status. However, there is a big difference between these two. While a divorce ends a valid and an existing marriage, an annulment declares that though everybody thought there was a marriage, it never existed in the first place. As far as the courts are concerned, a marriage that is annulled never existed at all.

Grounds under which a spouse can request to annul the marriage

In the State of California, there are a number of reasons or grounds on which the court could grant a request for a marriage annulment. Read on to know more about them.

  1. One of the spouses was married prior to entering into a second marriage. It is referred to as bigamy in legal terms.
  2. The couple has a blood relationship.
  3. The spouse who has filed for the annulment was below 18 years of age when the marriage took place.
  4. One of the spouses has committed a fraud for procuring the consent of the other party to the marriage. The fraud should have a strong correlation with the marriage. An example of this is when one party convinces the other to get married as the former had a secret desire of staying back in America.
  5. One of the spouses compelled the other party to get married.
  6. One party suffers from an incurable physical capacity. Ideally, the term is associated with male impotence, which does not allow the couple to have a physical relationship.
  7. When both the spouses and either of them is of an unsound mind. It refers to a condition, which stops the couple in question to appreciate and understand the marriage duties and nature like under the influence of severe intoxication.

The spouse requesting an annulment needs to provide evidence before the court that any of the reasons mentioned above was present when the marriage took place. However, if the burden is dissatisfied, the court may not grant the marriage annulment.

How to get an order from the court on marriage annulment?

The process for getting an annulment is not much different from obtaining a divorce. The court system of California has laid down a comprehensive set of instructions for requesting and opposing a marriage annulment. The California court system has specified a deadline called statute of limitations. It establishes the time limit within which an annulment may be filed. The reason for which an annulment is filed determines this deadline. It is always recommended to hire a good Orange County divorce attorney to help you out in such a case.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated!  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Top 3 Reasons for Divorcing Your Partner

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce lawyer; The Maggio Law FirmArriving at a decision to get divorced from your spouse could be quite a tough one. In a majority of cases, divorces happen due to certain marital problems, which may have solutions and yet the two parties involved in the marriage do not have the necessary skills or urges to resolve them. On the other hand, there are certain marital problems that may make you knock the door of a divorce attorney’s chamber and subsequently file for a divorce. While the decision to divorce should be taken seriously by the parties concerned, there are some scenarios where it appears to be the only solution.  Following are some of the top reasons why couples head for a divorce.

Adultery or infidelity

Infidelity has an uncanny similarity to domestic abuse. In fact, is such a behavior that is likely to keep repeating itself. While a spouse may cheat for various reasons, if you are the prey to such an act, you should realize that there cannot be a valid reason on your spouse’s part to do so. While it is not impossible to restore your trust even after your spouse had an extra-marital affair in the past, if the latter is a recurrent cheater, it is time you should do a self-evaluation of the justification of living with somebody in a marriage who does not have any regard for the marriage vows or for you

Emotional or physical abuse

Of your spouse has hit you once, chances are that he or she will repeat the act again. Try to come out of a marriage that is all about hitting punching or shoving. You should not make any excuses for your spouse who hit and hurt you. And never take the blame on your shoulders someone you has been hurting you physically or emotionally. Violence is an act done with the intention of exerting control over someone else. Such act is not carried out if one truly loves his/her spouse. There can be different forms of domestic violence. You could be emotionally or physically abused by your spouse repeatedly. Name calling, diverting someone, screaming and yelling can never be acceptable behavioral forms.  You must leave for the sake of your kids and also for your own sanity and safety.

Economic tensions

A divorce may occur due to financial infidelity on the part of a spouse. When your spouse spends and wastes money recklessly while the entire family is going through an economic crisis, he or she is said to have commuted financial infidelity. For instance, your spouse may be addicted to gambling or wastes money on shopping but hiding things from you.  Your spouse may have a high credit card debt but you could be unaware of it. 

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

How To Change Your Name Through California Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Top Orange County divorce attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmIf you are in the process of getting divorced, and prefer to revert back to the name you had before your marriage, it is possible to do so during or after the divorce. This process is generally a simple one. In case you have children, do keep in mind the impact which your decision to change your name will have on them. There is a greater chance that the children will continue to use the last name of the father post completion of divorce

Option #1: If divorce is already final and granted in California

You must complete the following steps in case the divorce is final or granted in California:

  1. Do contact the county court clerk where the divorce case is filed.
  2. Provide court clerk your case number, date of order or judgment or filing and case name. If it is possible, include copy of “Notice of Entry of Judgment (Family Law-Uniform Parentage-Custody and support) Form FL-190.
  3. Complete the “Ex-parte Application for Restoration of Former Name After Entry of Judgment and Order (Family Law) Form FL-395. Do include self-addressed return envelope complete with stamp if required.

The court generally processes the paperwork within a span of two to four weeks. If you are unsure about the time, do ask the clerk working at your local court for a time estimate. In case of any queries, ask your lawyer.

Option #2:  If divorce is not yet completed

  • In case you are getting a divorce in California and the process has still not been finalized, then it is possible for you to request the court to restore your earlier name. The best time to request this at the time of submission of divorce proposal (Form FL-180).
  • In case you wish to change your name to something else other than the original name, then you must follow steps to file “Petition for Change of Name”.

Option #3:  Petition for Change of Name in probate court

The court will take three months after you file the Petition for Change of Name the probate court, not family court. This involves a number of steps. You file the petition at first. After you do that, you will receive court date which can be six to 12 weeks later. You should meticulously follow all the needed steps. After your request is approved by the court, a “decree” or court order will be sent to you changing the name. Do understand that a few courts are busier than others and the process can be a little longer. The application could be tweaked a little if your name confirms your new gender identity, or in any other special situations. You must make sure you have read and understood everything.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated! Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

3 Things You Must Know About Child Support

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

child support attorney Orange County; The Maggio Law FirmAs you and your spouse are all set to divorce one another, one crucial consideration that both of you have to make is how your kids will be looked after you part ways. Here are a few things that you should know about child support.

Financial support for the kids

If you have dependent kids, you and your spouse must support them financially according to the requirements made by the law. As long as parents live together in a marriage, both of them support their children together. But when the couple divorced, they often are in an arrangement according to which a kid lives mostly with only one parent.

The parent with whom the child lives is referred to as having got the custody of the kid. Such an arrangement for children can be documented in a court order, which us known as legal custody at times or in their separation agreement. But the arrangement can also be decided without any court order or documented agreement. This is at times known as “de facto” custody. Whatever may be the way the agreement is done, the parent who has the custody has the primary responsibility for taking care of the child on a day-to-day basis and for incurring the ordinary expenses needed for bringing up the child. However, the other parent needs to help with such expenses. He or she can do so by giving money to the ex-spouse who has the child’s custody. This is what is popularly called child support.

Parents

A parent refers to biological father or mother, a step-parent or even an adoptive parent. A step-parent who once got married to a person with kids and has demonstrated an intention to consider those kids as members of her and his family is considered as a parent too.

Whose responsibility it is to pay for child support?

It is a legal responsibility of all parents to provide support for their dependent kids as much as it is in their capacity to do so. A parent who has been awarded the custody of the children by court typically had to incur a majority of the daily expenses for raising the kids. He or she may be eligible to get child support from the other spouse. The court may allow this child support to continue even in certain cases when the custodial parent decides to remarry or lives with a different person.

How much amount will be pride to the parent with custody is typically decided on the basis of the guidelines for child support. Sometimes both the parents may have the legal responsibility to pay for child support for the same kid. For instance, in case a parent who got the custody decides to separate from their common-law spouse who is not the biological parent of the kid or marriage, the other birth parent of the child and the said step-father could have a legal obligation to pay for the support of the child.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated!  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

The Psychology of Cheating

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce lawyers; The Maggio Law FirmDesire is the main cause of misery, said, Gautama Buddha. However, is desire a reason enough to break a marriage? According to psychology, no individual willingly wants to do the wrong thing. We all have a conscience and we all know cheating is bad? Then why do people do it? More than 90% of married people believe infidelity is wrong. Yet, 30%-40% marriages in California end in divorce due to infidelity. Science believes there are psychological reasons behind why this happens.

Individual reasons

People always try to justify their actions. The reason the saying ‘once a cheater, always a cheater’ stands good is because people assume their actions are justified. A person when commits infidelity justifies his/her actions to convince himself/herself that he/she did right. Like a smoker, when he/she says his/her uncle smoked 20 packs a day and lived to be 100, a cheater minimizes the significance of his/her actions.

Men are proven to attempt infidelity due to the increased levels of testosterone in their body. At the same time, women tend to rely more on emotional thinking and therefore are led towards infidelity.

Situational reasons

A person might not necessarily be inclined to having an affair, but situations and environmental circumstances often amount to cheating. In few cases, people have found to commit infidelity as a form of seeking a thrill in their life. In others, they seek the emotional or physical void in their present relationships, leading to divorces.

In certain situations, dissimilarities among the couples lead to an inclination towards infidelity. In cases where one partner has a higher paying job, is more successful or more educated than the other, infidelity is common. This gives rise to a sense of superiority and the idea of the two individuals not being of equal level, giving rise to the dissatisfaction that can cause an imbalance.

Staying away from divorce

Communication is key in most cases. Communicating one’s perspective on infidelity and reinforcing the idea maintains a reality check for both partners.  Defining boundaries as a couple defines the meaning of infidelity which often fades due to self-justification. Ensuring that your partner communicates his/her needs from the relationship helps cater to those specific needs. Tackling infidelity is an intricate process and re-establishing trust and understanding will help save your marriage.

If you are facing infidelity, consult a therapist and try couple’s therapy. Leave divorce as a last resort if the mistakes can’t be resolved. Once you have decided to go ahead with the divorce, make sure that you hire the best Orange County Divorce Attorney/Orange County Divorce Mediator.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated! Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.

4 Tips for Successful Co-Parenting

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

child custody attorneys in Orange County; The Maggio Law FirmFor many couples, a custody battle is a big headache and they try to avoid it as much as possible. For this reason, many settle for joint custody arrangements. However, even joint custody arrangements can become maddening and exhausting, especially for couples who have had a strained relationship.

There are divorces where neither of the spouses wants to be fully responsible for the child. It usually happens when both parents are working and none have the entire day to look after children. For such parents, co-parenting is a great option but sometimes even that can become tough. If you are one such individual, then here are some tips that will help you with your co-parenting.

  1. Collaborate with your ex

The best way for parents to make co-parenting successful is to collaborate with each other and focus on the needs of the child. Having a bitter relationship with your ex can cost you a lot financially and emotionally. According to recent reports, children who witness bad divorces are more likely to be affected by anxiety and depression among other problems. Costs can also be shared equally and the burden of responsibility gets lessened.

  1. Create a plan

Creating a long-term plan always works when you don’t know how to go about co-parenting with your ex. Have a talk with your ex and let him/her know what you intend to do for the child in the next 10 years. Your plan should include basic requirements like education, school or college, nourishment, health and shelter. It should also include family time as it contributes to a child’s growth.

  1. Communicate effectively

Ineffective or low communication is probably the reason why you and your partner are not together anymore. Set aside your differences and talk to your ex about your child’s future. Communication often helps one understand the problems faced by the other person and how it can be solved.

  1. Share things equally

Co-parenting is all about sharing everything equally between two people. It includes responsibilities, costs, time and problems. Equal sharing takes a certain amount of load from each of the parents’ shoulder and allows them to focus on important things related to the child.

Co-parenting is never easy and for some it is challenging. However, effective communication and collaboration can have magical effects. Additionally, you should create a plan and work towards your child’s needs. Sharing everything, which is part of co-parenting, makes the job easier.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated!  Click the following link to download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

 
No Legal Advice Intended: This website includes information about legal issues and legal developments. Such materials are for informational purposes only and may not reflect the most current legal developments. These informational materials are not intended, and should not be taken, as legal advice on any particular set of facts or circumstances. You should contact an attorney for advice on specific legal problems. Full disclaimer.