What the Separation of Parents Means to a Child

Children are the responsibility of their parents. Parents manage children through their thick and thin to make sure the child stays in his/her best possible condition. What happens to the children when you want to get a divorce? All parents should consider their children and their thought process when thinking of divorce.

A litigated divorce may let you get the verdict of win on certain things but it’s most likely you’ll end up losing many things such as causing grief and trauma to your child who will see his/her parents lock horns with one and other.

Did you know that every year a million children in the United States witness their parents getting divorced? Divorce can be painful for even the grown up adults who are going through it, so it isn’t hard to imagine what divorce means for a child. Witnessing their parents going through a divorce can be an overwhelming, traumatic, and mentally challenging experience for any child.

The mental state of a child through and after the divorce of their parents is dependent on how the parents, teachers, friends, family, and other support groups deal with the child. If the support isn’t given to them at right time, children can start to go into a shell of their own and can even develop several personality disorders.

These are a few points that will help you understand what your child goes through when his parents are getting divorced:

• They think continually on what they can do to change their parents’ minds
• They take the blame of the divorce on themselves somehow concluding that they are the reason for the separation
• Loss of expectations that they had from a joint family
• Tears, grief, and sometimes violence
• A feeling of insecurity regarding the love of their parents

Even in the most amicable conducted divorces like those that are gotten through Orange County divorce mediation will still have a negative effect on the children. Whatever the way of divorce, whenever the child will be told about the separation of their parents, the feelings of grief, shock, and disbelief will always come to the fore. At times you may think that the behavior of the child shows that he or she has accepted the decision to divorce it is important to note that a child can accept the decision but never the idea of separation of their parents.

Loss is a part of life and no one should be forced into living in a relation they don’t feel right about, but having said that, it’s important that both parents work to provide the children with the best support mechanisms to get them out of the grief phase quicker than normal. A good way to start this is by talking to them and encouraging them to let their emotions out.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.