Defeating the Self-Defeating Thoughts in Divorces

Have you ever had those thoughts that take you from a good mood right down to being distraught and depressed? Such thoughts are common among people that have gone through or are going through a divorce. These are the thoughts that you are unable to share even with your best friends and are only left with to tackle by yourself. This phase in a divorce can be on of self-defeating thoughts. These are simply put, personal, pervasive, and permanent thoughts about the bitterness in your relationship which can be tough to deal with, since it can led to feelings of helplessness, followed by depression.

It is often seen that the end of a relationship can leave a mark on a person, and what is a bigger scar than to go through a divorce? These phases can bring up thoughts in one’s minds that are damaging to their personality, such as “I am a failure”, “Nobody can ever love me”, “I am broken and nothing without him/her”.

However, for couples who choose divorce mediation to resolve their divorce, they are likely to face little-to-no self defeating thoughts. The primary reason for this is because Orange County divorce mediation is a process that involves the couples to converse, solve, and mediate their differences to be able to get a usable conclusion. Yet even divorce mediation is likely to fail if a person has already been trapped in the self-defeating thoughts and is unable to break free. Thus, it is important that couples that come into divorce mediation are able to defeat their self-defeating thoughts.

There are two ways to beat self-defeating thoughts. These two ways are having a clear head and distraction. The first way means having a clear and conscious head that is able to look through the apparent despair. All you need to do to defeat these self-defeating thoughts is distinguishing that these perceptions are not reality. Make sure you ask yourself what basis the beliefs you are facing have, envision the happy moments in your life, visualize that into your future, and try to think of the way ahead rather than the cloud of darkness that surrounds you.

The other way of defeating self-defeating thoughts is distraction.  The human mind can easily be distracted from all kinds of thoughts, and all you need to do to succeed against the self defeating thoughts is find an adequate distraction. Distractions are a plenty around you, go from dinners with your friends, plan excursion trips with your family, look for the best holiday destinations, and fly away for some time. What happens to your divorce mediation? The best thing about divorce mediation is that it’s flexible and the timings are decided upon the availability of the client. So you are free to do whatever you want.

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.