Did Your Childhood Lead to Your Divorce?
Most of us who have gone through a painful divorce or separation often ruminate as to why we ended up with our partner. Once the marriage is broken, we realize that it was our fault in the first place, to have developed an alliance with a person who was absolutely unsuitable for us.
Extensive research and studies indicate that the adults we evolve into have a lot to do with the past experiences associated with our childhood. As per studies, we often develop notions about life and relationships that are in conjunction with what we have witnessed in our early years. We tend to gravitate towards people and relationships that resemble our parents and the alliances formed by them. The psychology behind this can be explained by our low self-esteem and a desperate effort to fix past mistakes. There are a few explanations as to how an individual’s unhappy childhood often leads to his/her divorce.
Drifting towards relationships that do more harm than good
More often than not, those who frequently find ourselves trapped in abusive and painful relationships, tend to follow a pattern of repeating the same mistakes time and again. They keep getting involved with people who treat them with hostility and apathy, and then beat themselves up for not learning from their past blunders and doing the same thing again.
Getting involved with people who remind them of their parents
With the kind of anguish that children of divorce may have suffered, they can find themselves developing into insecure and under-confident adults. In a bid to find solace in familiarity, they can tend to be attracted to individuals who appear similar in personality to their parents. If one of our parents was an alcoholic or physically abusive, we would most probably end up with someone who exhibits similar traits.
Growing up with skewed beliefs
Adults who witnessed a parent separation in their childhood might end up with a distorted notion of the sacred institution of marriage. Influenced by their parents’ deeds and how they dealt with their personal marital issues, such children grow up with the notion that marriages are indispensable. They believe that the only fix to all their marital disputes is a divorce. As a result, they never really put in any efforts to save their marriages and end up separated from their partners, just like their parents. The divorce of an individual’s parent might leave him/her scarred for life, and he/she might end up developing into an emotionally unstable adult, with a warped viewpoint of life.
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