3 Ways to Protect Yourself from Your Unreasonable Former Spouse

You have signed the paperwork and have been through with the process of divorce, it is now final. Moreover, it is a fresh beginning for you and time you move ahead once again.  However, that may not be the case always for all. There are many such instances when a former spouse has been able to take this transition with a punch of salt and may behave irrationally or harshly. In such cases, the conflict between the two may continue even after the finalization of their divorce and unreasonable behavior may prevail. When your former spouse is unreasonable, they may make your children and you quite miserable. If there is a conflict between your former partner and you, they can use issues like child support and child visitations tools. While it may not be possible to control such an errant partner’s behavior, you can still how you should respond to such behavior. It is better to take a proactive stand while interacting with your unreasonable spouse so that the stress between the two of you causes due to your ex’s manipulation can lessen.

Try not to engage into conflict with your ex

The conflict may become more severe if you continue to engage in it. When your ex-makes unreasonable demand sand you respond defensively, you are actually rising to the bait and the conflict may further escalate. In case your spouse sends you harsh emails with threats of separating your kids from you or writes something that makes you feel concerned, do not give any reply. When you do not respond, your ex will be stopped in his/her tracks.

Do not feel concerned or bother yourself with what is being said

Certain words can be quite hurtful. Your hostile former spouse might bad mouth you and spread nasty things about your behaviors and character. You may naturally feel inclined to retaliate to such lies about you. However, just responding to their words would not put an end to those lies. When you lash out the world may feel you are being unreasonable too.

Do not surrender just because you are scared

Your ex-spouse is the person who perhaps knows you the most. Such knowledge may give them the necessary weapon to torture you. Your fears and weaknesses are known to them and they can push these buttons to demand what they desire. Controlling you could be a powerful tool in their hands. A hostile ex may manipulate situations to their advantage by making you anxious and controlling you. So, do not let them use your weaknesses and fears to their advantage and try to rise above your fears and apprehensions.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law attorney and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.