How to Handle A Divorce You Don’t Want
Ever since many states implemented the no-fault divorce laws, a divorce cannot be stopped legally after the procedure starts. Under such laws, a person enjoys a right to get a divorce without procuring permission from the other spouse or showing grounds for divorce. A no-fault divorce law regards a marriage as a contract. Laws ensure that the party that wants to come out the marriage is adequately protected legally instead of protecting the other spouse that wants to stay in that marriage.
Check out some of the ways to handle a divorce you may not want, in a mature manner.
Be calm and do not show your agitation when you learn about your divorce.
Your hostility and fury should be within check and show your concern that your spouse has reached to that point emotionally where she or he feels that divorce is the only solution for them. Your broken marriage cannot be fixed by your outburst and your behavior may even make it worse, In case your spouse is no longer drawn to you and is on the verge of filing the divorce. Also, tell them that it is only fair to give some efforts before taking petition, you should control your hurt feelings and pride so that both of you are open and rational with each other and you are aware what your spouse requires from you so that he or she may contemplate restoring the marriage.
Do not shirk from accepting your responsibility in the issues that came up in your marriage
You should give an opportunity to your spouse to share their emotions and feelings with you and learn what they regard as the key issues and then respond by not opposing their feelings. Offer to work together in a collaborative and amicable manner so that it is easier to find solutions for those issues. The process involves looking at this situation from the perspective of your spouse. This way you will get to hear your spouse’s version. Although you may feel that they are being crazy and giving excuses, not are their point of view and opposing the feelings of your spouse will not help you to restore your crumbling marriage.
You can request your spouse to hold the divorce for some time till you both have met and consulted a marital therapist.
You can try to explain your wife or husband that it s your belief that adequate work has not been done to repair the concerns that came up in your marriage before making the final call.
However, whether you succeed in stopping your divorce and marriage work will depend on how complex your marital problems are. It also depends on the extent of emotional detachment your spouse is going through.
Getting divorced in California can be complicated. Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.
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