Handling Divorce Grief in Your Own Way

A divorce or a separation can indeed be an emotional and highly stressful experience in one’s life. Your entire universe may go upside down irrespective of the reason for your separation and whether you were willing for it or not. A breakup can create a host of unsettling and painful emotions. You could be not only grieving at this stage but also feeling apprehensive about your future, isolated, and baffled. However, there are several things that you can do at your end to handle your divorce grief; let this tough time pass and move on in life with a fresh vigor, optimism, and hope.

Why can divorce be full of misery for many?

Although your relationship could have been rocky for quite some time, a breakup or a divorce can be quite painful as it not only symbolizes the loss of a partnership but also of the commitments and dreams both you and your partner had shared. Any love marriage begins with a lot of excitement and positive hopes for a bright future. But the moment a relationship crumbles, people go through profound disillusionment, grief, anxiety, and stress. A divorce or breakup throws you into unexplored territories. There are so many changes in your life with respect to your responsibilities and routine, relationship with friends and extended family, your identity and even your home. A divorce can also introduce a great sense of uncertainty about what lies ahead in life.

Handling divorce or breakup grief

• Understand and appreciate that there is no harm in having different feelings. After all, it is not unusual to feel tired, angry, confused, frustrated and/or unhappy.
• All these emotions can be pretty intense. There could be anxiousness within you feeling apprehensive about your future. You should start accepting that feelings like these are bound to change over a period of time. Although your relationship with your spouse was unhealthy, it can be scary to venture into an unknown arena.
• You deserve a break now, so go for it. You should allow yourself the luxury of functioning or feeling somewhat less than your usual level for certain period. It is possible that your work productivity is lower than usual at this crucial phase of your life. Plus, you may not be affectionate towards others in the manner you used to be for a while. After all, you do not have any kind of superpower. So take time to go through the healing process, re-energize, and regroup.
• Do hand holding at this critical phase of your life. You should share your emotions either with family and close friends who can help you to get over your grief during this period. Try to be a part of a support group so that you can speak to people who are going through a similar situation.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.