How to Connect With Your Child Long Distance After Divorce
Of the many challenges that families are presented with by divorce, living at a distance is often one of the most difficult to cope with for both parents and children. It is never easy for a child to be separated from their parents; whether the separation is due to a brief business trip or a move across the country for personal reasons or a new job. Similarly, parents miss their kids when they aren’t able to see them on a regular basis.
When parents are divorced, it is vital that they make every effort to keep in touch with their children. This is especially true if they live in a different state or country. Parents who live out of state or out of the country must make additional efforts to maintain a positive relationship with their children. Kids often experience loyalty conflicts that can make it hard for them to reach out to a non-custodial parent. They often feel stuck in the middle – particularly when their parents do not get along.
Children of divorce frequently experience feelings of loss and rejection when one parent moves away. Similar feelings of loss and rejection can occur when a child becomes close to a stepparent and they move away or lose contact after a divorce. Many children of divorce are worried about maintaining good relationships with their parents after divorce even if they do not make that desire clear to their parents.
Connecting with Your Child Long-Distance After Divorce:
- Email or Mail: Send messages to your child or children. Wish them luck with upcoming events or remind them how much you are looking forward to your next visit.
- Call Spontaneously: While it is a very good idea to have a regular time to call your child, spontaneous calls are a great reminder to your child that you are thinking of them.
- Creative Communication Channels: Be creative when attempting to keep the lines of communication open with your child. Send photos and ask questions about their week and their regular activities and their friends. Use text, Skype, email, social media, etc.
- Include their Friends: Get acquainted with your child’s friends and attempt to include one or two of their closest friends on outings or vacations. Getting to know your child’s friends can be very beneficial for furthering your relationship with your child and helping them feel comfortable.
- Know Their Interests: Research the activities, sports, and special interests that your child is involved in so you can engage with them and show that you are attuned to their interests.
- Spend the Time: When your children visit, make sure you spend quality time with them and if you have a new partner, don’t introduce them to your child unless you are fairly certain they are a permanent part of your life.