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How to Keep Your Cool While Divorcing Your Narcissist Spouse

On Behalf of | Feb 3, 2018 | Divorce

When your marriage ends, it can be a real life-shattering experience. Although, you could be the one who is taking the first step for procuring a divorce, it is normal to go through emotions like sadness, moments of doubt and feeling like a failure. But when you are taking a divorce from your narcissist spouse, there could be other emotions too, such as frustration and fury. It is a big challenge to live with an individual who is suffering from Borderline Narcissistic Personality Disorder.  Divorcing such a person can be even tougher. You need to realize that any person who has BNPD actually suffers from a real disorder. Your spouse has developed a non-empathetic, controlling, dominating and self-absorbed personality. His nature could be a response to some sort of traumatic incidents in his childhood. When you have eventually decided to take a divorce from your narcissist spouse, you are certain that changing his attitude is simply next to impossible. So, now that you have decided to bid adieu to your marriage, how can you heal yourself as well as your family?

Be prepared for a shift in dynamics Remember how your spouse attracted you into a relationship? You found him so charming and friendly initially and he was never short of flowery speeches and compliments. It was the first time when you felt he loved you so much and no other man is capable of such love and affection. However, as time passed, you observed that this loving and normal behavior changed to that of an individual who never considers your views and opinions, has become dominating and lies quite frequently. Every time you made an attempt to address these issues, he tried to convince you that things will alter for the better. However, that never happened. You have finally understood that it is impossible for him to mend his ways. So, it is better to get ready for a shift in the paradigm. Your soon-to-be and narcissist spouse will try all possible things to demonstrate his strength on you. It will be difficult for him to accept that you have decided to leave him for good.

You will need a good team by your side It is crucial for you to have a strong team by your side so that you can manage the divorce proceedings in a smooth manner. You should hire an Orange County divorce lawyer who is experienced in dealing with spouses having borderline narcissistic personality disorder.  Such an attorney knows the important things to watch out for. They also know ways of avoiding the traps your former spouse may set for you. You should also get in touch with a good mental health professional who can provide you with an ideal opportunity for expressing your fury, disappointment, and frustrations.