Most married couples expect their relationships to last “unto death do [them] part.” While that’s the case for some couples, marriage for other couples ends in divorce, even if they’ve been married for decades, aka gray divorce.
A gray divorce occurs when a couple between 50 and 65 ends their relationship. Surprisingly, the divorce rate for this age group has been doubling since 1990. This can have a great impact on adult children, if applicable.
There are a couple of things you should not do when your adult children learn about your divorce.
What not to do
-Trivialize their feelings: Don’t say something along the lines of “Oh, grow up. You’re too old to be acting like that.” Feeling sad or upset about a situation doesn’t have an age limit. Hear them out even if you think their behavior is “juvenile.”
-Lean on them for emotional support: It’s not up to your adult children to assist you in navigating your emotions, especially since they have their own lives to focus on. Reach out to your friends or a therapist when you need to vent your feelings.
How to help them cope
-Tell them about any changes that lie ahead: Sit down with your adult children and explain any upcoming events like split holiday visits and selling the family house. Notifying them of changes right away can assist them in preparing for and adjusting to new circumstances.
-Maintain a civil relationship with your spouse: Even though you and your spouse have disagreements, don’t let them ruin your relationship with your adult children. When they see that both of you remain on good terms with each other, they’ll be more comfortable sharing the goings-on in their lives.
Divorce is tough on all parties regardless of their ages. But you can seek help to guide you and your family through it. Consider reaching out to legal assistance to get started.