Is There A Right Time To Give Up On Your Marriage?

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce lawyers; The Maggio Law FirmWhile conflicts are part of every marriage, do you really feel it is time for you to part from your spouse? It is precisely the question that most people struggle with prior to taking the final call before leaving. There are just two choices left before a couple who is going through a bad marriage.

Should a couple try to work their marriage out?

There is hardly any marriage that does not go through a rough patch. Spouses adore their partners on certain occasions and there will be times when they do not like each other at all. Thus what you feel for your spouse may go through ups and downs. However, if you know how to use appropriate relationship skills, you can be sure that things will always not be bad for both of you.

Should you opt for a legal separation?

Opting for a legal separation will seem to be easier for you in case you look at it as an option to rebuild your marriage rather than ending it forever. While the thought of living separately from your partner may not appear productive, but when the process is carried out properly and respectfully, a legal separation can be an excellent means for reuniting a couple.

When a couple opts for a controlled separation that has an intention to strengthen the marriage, there should be effective communication during and prior to the legal separation.

The couple in question should be honest to each other about why they want to separate. In case the purpose of a separation is to come out of the marriage, then you should not try to convince your spouse that you are simply leaving him/her since you require some space.

Is it the time for a divorce?

There are occasions when the issues in a marriage can be extremely deep. You find there are no options rather than taking a divorce from your spouse. There are cases like serial infidelity, emotional abuse or domestic abuse; you may have to take a call on getting a divorce from your spouse. If a situation like this does come up, your marriage should be dismantled in a manner to show your self-respect as well as respect for your kids and spouse.

However, you need to also realize that divorce is never a friendly action to take. There could be conflicts and even more conflicts during your divorce. In a majority of cases, divorces are usually initiated y one party, Ideally, there are very few times when both the spouses come together and make this decision. It is exactly because of this, one of the spouses can be angry and emotionally hurt.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Ways of Dealing with Your Unreasonable Ex-Spouse

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmFinally, your divorce paperwork is done and the divorce judgment has come through. You now feel that it is time to make a fresh beginning in your life. But your former spouse may not have been able to come to terms with being divorced and you may foresee a continuation of the conflict and tension in the coming days even though your divorce is finalized. Such unreasonable behavior from your ex may hamper your children’s peace of mind too. You do not want your or your children’s lives to be miserable. Your ex can cause troubles with some major issues like child support and child visitation after the divorce judgment comes in and treats them as tools to continue conflict even after the marriage has ended. So, here are some of the ways to deal with your unreasonable former spouse.

Do not accept defeat just because you are scared

Your former spouse would have spent quite a few years with you and so they know you in and out. They can, therefore, use your weaknesses as a tool to get the better of you? Your ex can yes your fears and apprehensions to try and accomplish what they want. In other words, your fear is a powerful tool in your ex’s hand that is hostile to you now. So, be wary of their attempts to manipulate and control you through your weaknesses. In a way, it is also a reflection on their fear for you though it may sound contradictory. Do not give your former spouse an opportunity to curb your ability to recreate a new life after your divorce.

Try to be immune to what is being said about you

Often, your ex-spouse who is hostile towards you may use nasty words not only to you but to others who may be around you. In fact, such people can use derogatory words about their former spouses to anyone who is willing to listen to them. It may not be unusual to defend yourself when you hear such tales statements being spread about you and your character. But self-defense may not put an end to such gossips. When you continue to respond, you may also appear to be unreasonable like your ex. Compassion is the best way to respond back to your vicious ex who maligns and ill-treats you.

Try to avoid conflicts

When you engage in a conflict, things may only take a worse turn. When you behave in the same manner as your unreasonable ex-does, tension may further escalate. When you receive nasty threats like they will snatch the kids from you, just refrain from responding.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Why Do You Need To Have An Agreement For Legal Separation?

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Top Orange County divorce lawyers; The Maggio Law FirmMany legal experts feel that when a couple decides to separate, they should have a proper agreement on legal separation. After an agreement is signed by a judge, the couple will get a temporary order from the concerned courts it is an order that mentions the responsibilities of both the parties while they live separately and prior to the finalization of their divorce. However, if the legally separated couple does not want to proceed with the divorce, either party can as, their divorce lawyer to keep the divorce on hold.  But even while being legally separated, the spouses can enjoy similar legal protections, courtesy to that temporary court order in states that allow legal separation. Here are some of the reasons why it really makes sense to have an agreement while being legally separated.

For setting up a schedule for child visitation

When you have kids from your marriage, it is imperative to fix a schedule for the visitation of the other parent though you live separately. An agreement for legal separation can define such a schedule and also outline who will have access to the kids when they are in the custody of your spouse, where the kids will reside if they are not given to you Andorra they can travel or not even though you will not give consent to do so. Thus, such an agreement can help you to protect your parental rights.

When you need child support

In case there are children. You can only demand the child support with the help of a court order. When the state where you reside permits legal separation, the calculation for the child support can be done as per the child support guidelines of that state and becomes a part and parcel of the legal separation agreement between you and the other parent.

When there is big conflict between you and your spouse

When your spouse and you are having high conflicts and it is not possible for both of you to have a healthy dialogue with one another, such an agreement will highlight what should be expected from both of you while you are legally separated. When such clauses are mentioned in your legal separation agreement, further conflicts can be avoided and communication between the two of you will be better.

Low trust factor

When you are not sure to trust your spouse’s verbal commitments, a legal separation agreement can come to your rescue. Such agreements can be witnessed and signed by an unbiased third party or even a judge and can be produced in a court if your spouse violates any clause therein. 

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.

 

 

How To Safeguard Your Legal Rights While Your Divorce Is Going On

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

divorce lawyers in Orange County; The Maggio Law FirmDifferent states may have a different set of legal rights for the spouses while their divorce is going on. Usually, the laws of the states ensure that one of the parties involved is not intimidated, harassed or abused by the other party when the divorce proceedings are on. It is important to know what your legal rights are during the divorce.

Your spouse cannot move the minor kids outside the court’s jurisdiction

While some states permit the children to be shifted to a distance of 150 miles, yet they cannot be moved out of that state. After the divorce case has been filed in a state, it becomes the home state of your child or children. So, the courts have jurisdiction over the children’s place of residence. If a partner tries to move away with his or her kids without the permission of the concerned court, he or she may risk losing the custody of the kids.

Cannot hide, dispose of, transfer or damage the assets owned by either both the partners or one of them without the consent of the other spouse or by a family court. Additionally, the court will not look favorably on the destruction of a property.

Do not use credit accounts that are solely in the name of your spouse

Major issues related to finances and who will be responsible for paying what can be safeguarded by filing petitions in the court and through temporary restraining orders. When spouses hold joint credit accounts and one of them are worried about the other running up debt, the former needs to procure the court’s special protection. Splitting the debt is a major issue for the divorcing couples. After all, you will definitely not like to take some steps that will make the process even more complicated. On the other hand, you will definitely not like to rake any step that would result in you becoming more liable for paying off the debts after the divorce gets finalized. The court definitely holds you accountable f you have been using a credit card which is in the name of your spouse only.

You should not deny the rights of the other parents to take care of the kids

Your children may stay with you but that does not mean you will not let your former spouse visit them. You may be entitled to permanent or temporary court orders with respect to issues like your children’s custody and visitation. You should not even contemplate about denying the rights of the other parent to look after the kids.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Changing from Legal Separation to Divorce in California

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce lawyers; The Maggio Law FirmThe terms “divorce” and “legal separation” are distinctly different. Legal separation does not mean the dissolution of marriage while divorce means the end of a marriage. After a divorce, couples can go back to their single status. Legal separation means the couples are still married but do not stay together. There are many reasons why legal separation takes place before a marriage. Some couples feel that opting for a divorce is a serious matter and should be taken slowly. Being legally separated allows couples to reflect on the issue they have with their marriage.

In certain cases, couples change from legal separation to divorce. In California, it is easy to convert a legal separation to a divorce and all that is required is a simple conversion. It can be done anytime during the legal process and it takes only one spouse to make the request. It also involves filing a petition which the other spouse must comply to.

Amended petitions

In California, judicial counsel form, FL100, is used for making petitions in legal separation and divorce. Couples who want to change the petition simply need to file a second petition known as the Amended petition. In cases where one of the spouses hasn’t responded to the first petition, the other spouse simply needs to file the petition and send a serving notice. There are no charges for filing the amended petition.

If a legal separation is still in process and one of the spouses has still not responded to the petition, then the other spouse can file the amended petition. It is important for both spouses to meet the residency requirements of the state because the law for legal separation is different in each state. In certain cases where the legal separation has not been obtained but the petition has been filed, the spouse would require an approval request from the court.

After a legal separation gets finalized, spouses who want a divorce have to file a new case and start over again. Sometimes, couples prefer to stay as legally separated for an extended period of time when such cases arise.

Conclusion

The State of California believes that every individual has the right to decide the fate of their marriage. In California, it’s an easy process to change from a legal separation to a divorce and only takes a simple petition to change the status.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

How Long Will My Divorce Case Take?

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmHow long will my divorce take to complete?  This is the most asked question when it comes to clients and their initial queries to their Orange County divorce attorneys. This question is almost as common as asking how much a divorce would cost them.

Typically when a client comes up to you and asks this question they are looking for a it will be quick answer. Whether that comes true or not will depend largely on how cooperative and conflict free your spouse is.

What happens in cases where you don’t have such a spouse? Well simply put, in such cases no lawyer can typically answer the question of how long your divorce case will take. Especially in cases where the other spouse is hell bent on stretching the divorce case. However, there are ways to combat these delays and make sure that your divorce case is resolved quickly.

Making Workable Settlement Offers

Before you start a divorce case, you need to figure out exactly what is it that you want. If you want to make sure that case resolves quickly, you need to be open to the possibility of making settlement offers. Settlement offers are attempts on your part to bring the other spouse on the table for discussion to try and agree a resolution to the case amongst them instead of it being decided by a judge.

Typically after the disclosures in the case have been made, you should look to engage the other spouse to settle the case. For that you should make sure that the settlement offer you make is enough to entice the other party top agree while not compromising on your own interests and prospects for the future. An amicable settlement agreement will usually result in the case being closed faster.

The Attorney Fee Motion

In some cases, attempts to try and settle the case fail because the other spouse is hell bent on trying to delay the case and churn out more and more attorney fees from you.  If the delays are unreasonable, it may be possible to seek sanctions and attorneys fees from that other spouse.  If successful, the amount of fees will be paid by the losing spouse in addition to their own attorney’s cost.

How long will the Case Take?

This is one of the hardest questions to answer. No divorce lawyer is able to accurately predict when the case would end. Yet, on an average if your divorce case is uncontested it will typically take 3-6 months, if it is contested it will take a year or two. Other complex cases with several disputes involved may takes years to end.

The Importance of the Date of Separation in Divorce Cases

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Top Orange County divorce attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmDo you recall when you and your partner called it quits? For some people, their date of separation sticks out in their mind. Mainly because the decision to part ways resulted from a full-blown fight or your partner was unfaithful, or one of the parties moved out. Whatever your reason was to end things, you will always remember your separation date. Although you may not want to keep that memory intact, when it comes to filing for divorce, the date of separation is quite important to remember.

What Role does the Date of Separation Play?

Knowing the date of separation is important in order to:

  • Ensure a proper division of property for assets acquired between the date of marriage and the date of separation
  • Determine the length of time that either party may be entitled to receive or pay spousal support to the other.

1.     Fair Division of Property & Debts

Equalization of property and debts depends on the date you separated from your partner. It can have a significant impact on the sum of money allotted to the partner during divorce settlements. There have been cases where the partner got more money due to the date they separated. The reverse for this is also true. The reason for getting more or less money is also due to the value of shares increasing or decreasing during the time of separation.

2.     Support Payments

The law states that the partner needs to start paying support to their ex on the date they separated. Therefore, knowing your separation date will help disputing couples settle many arguments. What happens when the disputing partners clash on what the exact date of separation is? Look at the next heading to find out.

Figuring Out the Exact Date of Separation

It is helpful for your partner and you need to sit down, with a divorce mediator or your lawyers, to come to an agreed-upon date of separation. The questions that may arise to solve this issue are:

  • Do you remember when you decided to separate?
  • When did you tell your family and friends that you both are not living together or sleeping in separate rooms?
  • When was the last time you had marital relations with your partner?

More questions to determine the date may be asked.  If there is a disagreement between the parties as to the date of separation, that issue would otherwise have to be resolved first in your divorce case in order to be able to determine property division and long-term spousal support issues.

Ensure That Pensions and Businesses Are Properly Valued In Your Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Divorce attorney Orange County; The Maggio Law FirmOther than your house, the pensions and retirement plans of spouses as well as business(es) owned by one or both of the parties can often be the most values assets of the marriage.

With regard to pensions, such retirement plans are often divided by use of a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (“QDRO”), wherein the spouse that is not officially on the plan receives their community interest in the pension by a rollover IRA which avoids any tax implication to either party.  A 401K plan is often divided the same way.  Unlike a 401k whose value is whatever the current value in the account is, a pension is worth more in the future but does have a present day value that can be determined by use of an actuary, and such valuation can be considered in the division of all assets and debts in your case.

In addition, the business owed by you or your spouse or both parties is generally going to be considered a community property asset.  In a divorce, the spouse that is not the active party in the business is entitled to their one-half interest in the value of that business, but that value must be determined.  In order to figure out the value of a business, a forensic valuation of  the business needs to be done in order to attach a dollar figure to the value of the business.  Therefore, a forensic accountant needs to be hired by one or both of the parties, which will take time to complete and will come at a cost.  Once that value is determined, then the parties in the divorce can determine how the other spouse will be paid their share of the business, either from other assets of the marriage, or by a payment plan, or other agreed option.  For example, the controlling partner of the business can agree to give up their interest in the equity in the marital residence to offset the other party’s interest in the business.

The bottom line is that pensions and businesses are important assets that must be considered in your divorce case, because they have definite value that you want to receive your share of.  Consider the financial issues as part of a business deal that you are negotiating, and educate and empower yourself in the process so that you can control your financial future by protecting your financial interests in your divorce.

Men Dealing With Divorce Should Consider Counseling

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Top Orange County divorce attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmWhile generally women are more willing to seek counseling with a therapist to deal with issues both during and after divorce, men are often much less comfortable with admitting that they may need such support and assistance to work through their issues and feelings associated with separation and divorce.  Men are also generally much less likely to discuss divorce issues with their friends and family, leaving them emotionally isolated and feeling alone.

Men should consider individual counseling to help work through their issues in order to be able to effectively move forward in their lives, and perhaps avoid problems they themselves may have caused in their marriage. If that is something that seems daunting, another option is to seek a men’s support group near where you live or work devoted to issues associated with the effects of divorce and separation.  One such men’s support counseling group is offered by Orange County therapist Lawrence Marquez, Psy.D.  Dr. Marquez leads a small men’s divorce support group in Irvine, California on a weekly basis that provides continuing support for men caught in the crossfire of divorce.  The members of the group collaborate with the other men to help each other navigate the effects of divorce.

Dr. Marquez states that “the purpose of the group has been to provide a safe and supportive environment where divorce-related issues can be shared and explored. As the group leader, I provide insight for the men as they each work through their process. However, I must admit the most impressive aspect of the group has been the support that I see from each member of the group towards one another.”

Some of the topics discussed in this men’s group include the men’s court and legal experiences, the restructuring of the family following the divorce, how to deal with the ensuing emotional & financial stresses, and common or unique circumstances or struggles as they are presented.   Dr. Marquez states that his role as group leader is to “encourage self-awareness, the ability to process, understand, and deal with feelings appropriately, foster improvement in areas of communication, stimulate growth and strengthening of parenting skills &  healthy parent-child relationships, promote healthy boundaries with ex-spouse and others, provide guidance through issues of grief, and help renew personal focus and self-direction.”  

The benefit of such men’s support groups is to show men of divorce that they are not alone and that there are many other men out there that are going through the same experiences.  They are able to help each other with their feelings and with some skills to move forward with their lives.   Another benefit is that such support groups are often moderately priced.  Such support groups should not necessarily take the place of individual counseling that may also be needed, but it can be a healthy component to any counseling plan.

If interested in more information about men’s support counseling or in Dr. Marquez’s men’s support group, Dr. Marquez can be reached at (949)633-5355 or by email at [email protected]

For any legal information about divorce issues or to schedule a consultation with Orange County divorce attorney Gerald Maggio of The Maggio Law Firm, please call (949) 553-0304 or visit www.maggiolawfirm.com.  The Maggio Law Firm is an experienced and compassionate Orange County divorce and family law firm serving the Orange County and Riverside areas and neighboring counties, serving clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, prenuptial agreements, divorce mediation, and other family law issues.

Helpful Tips On How To Tell Your Kids That Mommy & Daddy Are Divorcing

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Top Orange County divorce lawyers; The Maggio Law FirmIt goes without saying that divorce is one of the most difficult and stressful events that can happen in an adult’s life.  For children, divorce can be a much more confusing, emotional and uncertain time.

So having a strategy for how to tell your children that you and your spouse are divorcing is very important, as well as how to guide them through the divorce process without being emotionally damaged in the process.

What is most important for the sake of your children is to avoid conflict with your spouse as much as possible, particularly in front of them.  The more that you and your spouse can communicate and act objectively with regard to parenting and co-parenitng for the sake of your children, the better, even if you are experiencing emotional pain and anger yourself.

A divorcing parent must make every effort to support their children through the divorce even if they struggle to do so because they do not really know how to do so.  The key to this whole process is for your children to know that despite the pending divorce, they are not at fault and they are loved.  Where children of divorce often start having problems at school, with drug and alcohol abuse, and have behavioral problems is when the parents are fighting, do not work together, and put the children in the middle of their disputes.

Here are a few tips in how to tell your children that you and your spouse are going to divorce and how otherwise to discuss the divorce:

  1. Sit Down Together With Your Spouse

When the time comes to tell your children that divorce is going to happen, you should not be doing so without your spouse there with you.  Your children will feel better having you both together in that setting, and you and your spouse will be a united front.   Each spouse will also know exactly what was said and not have to wonder.  That will instill more trust in your children and your spouse will also trust you more as a result.

  1. Honesty Is Necessary

You do not have to get down to the “nitty gritty” details of what led to the divorce, but giving honest yet simple responses to their questions will go a long way in helping deal with their understanding of the situation.  Honesty will also help with trust.

  1. Avoid The Blame Game

Do not be critical of your spouse when speaking with them at the beginning of or at any point during the divorce.  That will not accomplish anything other than insecurity in your children.  Perhaps your marriage did not work out, but that does not mean that you and your spouse do not still have a responsibility to act maturely and as a co-parenting team for the sake of your children.  Today’s children are very smart and intuitive and they know more than you think they do.  So do the right thing for them and make sure that they feel like you are taking their best interests to heart.

  1. Listen to Your Children

Much more than half of effective communications is listening to what the other party is saying.  Communicating with your children is no different.   Really listen and consider the concerns expressed by your children and do not take what they say lightly.  They may be young, but their feelings and concerns about the divorce have as much validity as yours.

Following these simple tips will help reduce the level of stress associated with the divorce on your children.  Be proud of how you handled your divorce!

For further information or to schedule a consultation with Orange County divorce attorney Gerald Maggio of The Maggio Law Firm, please call (949) 553-0304 or visit www.maggiolawfirm.com.  The Maggio Law Firm is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law firm serving the Orange County and Riverside areas and neighboring counties, serving clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, prenuptial agreements, divorce mediation, and other family law issues.

 
No Legal Advice Intended: This website includes information about legal issues and legal developments. Such materials are for informational purposes only and may not reflect the most current legal developments. These informational materials are not intended, and should not be taken, as legal advice on any particular set of facts or circumstances. You should contact an attorney for advice on specific legal problems. Full disclaimer.