Divorcing And Dating At Age 50 And Older

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce lawyers; The Maggio Law FirmIf you’re getting divorced at 50, dating often comes across as a ludicrous thought. The good news is that more than 60% of divorced people over the age of 50 in California are found to be dating or in a committed relationship.

There are a million factors to keep in mind while dating after you’re 50. And let’s be honest, nobody is getting any younger, so going slow is not really an option. It’s a common notion that men find love with younger women, but, in reality, senior dating is quite healthy and common.

There are a few factors to keep in mind while dating at 50:

Give yourself time to heal

A divorce can most often be very painful and deeply scarring with painful memories to deal with. It’s important to let yourself heal and get a closure with issues you have regarding your divorce. If necessary, consult a therapist to heal those painful memories and give yourself the closure you need to begin your second life.

Check-in your baggage and start afresh

Let’s face it, at 50 you’re bound to have some baggage. You’ve lived an adventurous life so far and it’s a matter of pride to show off your war scars. So, don’t cling onto your regrets as a burden, just write it out as experience. After all, your date out there has a lot to discuss about his too!

So put away that baggage and start afresh. You could just be a 16-year-old going on your first date, except this time, you have a lot more stories to tell.

Make your ex a part of your past

Whether you are still close to your ex or you prefer keeping no contact at all, when you’re dating, keep him/her off the table. You may have repressed a lot of anger and frustration by things associated with your ex, which may give way to reacting poorly over a pet peeve you have with your date.

Focus on having fun

You are dating again for a reason. It’s time to focus on what you want from your relationship. Let your hair down and be honest. Work towards getting a date who is looking for the same from a relationship. And while you’re at it, make sure you have a whole lot of fun!

Go ahead and enter phase 2 of your life!

Dating after a divorce is definitely daunting. Take baby steps and seek the relationship you deserve. Step into the new chapter of life. There’s very little to fear given the immense experience you have with making relationships work. You are entering a new exciting stage of your life. Have some fun and find your soul mate.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

5 Benefits of Divorce Mediation

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmSome people consider mediation fairly new, but it’s actually been around quite a while. The term mediation refers to an alternative dispute resolution process. It was first used by the ancient Greeks when there were difficult disputes between village members. The first recorded case of mediation occurred in 522 A.D. (or C.E.) When mediation became necessary, the two disputing villagers would turn to a village elder who would guide them to a resolution. The elder would lead them in a discussion ending in a solution they could both agree to uphold and then record the resolution so the parties could move forward peacefully.

Mediation and the mediation process has evolved since the time of the ancient Greeks, but it still aims for the same admirable goal: a mutually agreeable resolution. Today, mediation is used to resolve a wide range of issues from a simple dispute between neighbors to assisting world leaders in coming to agreements that would avoid war or other discord, but we see if used most often as a means of coming to a mutually agreeable resolution when two parties are getting divorced.

5 Benefits of Divorce Mediation:

  1. Mediation Puts the Children First: Divorce is hard. It’s hard on both parties involved. But it’s even harder on their children. They experience enormous stress about an uncertain future: worries about where they will live, feeling as if they are somehow at fault, being forced to be “in the middle” of a battle between parents. Every letter, phone call, text message, and demand sent back and forth between divorce attorneys can increase the adversarial nature of the divorce. Divorce mediation minimizes this negative aspect of divorce and can greatly reduce the amount of stress that the children involved need to handle.
  2. Mediation is Private and Confidential: Court is a public forum. Anyone can sit in the courtroom and watch the events unfold during your divorce case: friends, family, neighbors or strangers. When divorce is handled through the courts, it is a public show. Many greatly appreciate the fact that divorce mediation is not open to the public, but instead offers some privacy during a time of intense stress and personal upheaval.
  3. Mediation is Faster and More Efficient: The courts are busy. They have a lot of handle, not enough staff to handle it and an ever-increasing workload. Getting a court date to resolve issues related to your divorce could take up to a year in some cases. And that’s before you take into consideration that two different divorce attorneys need to be available and agree to meet on the specified date and time provided by the court. It is a scheduling nightmare. In some cases, getting divorced can end up taking years. Divorce mediation, on the other hand, offers the benefit of being much quicker and more efficient. This is not only beneficial, but vital in some cases as a long, drawn out battle in court simply may not be feasible.
  4. Mediation is Fair and Empowering: When taking your case to court, divorcing parents lose a lot of their power. The power is in the hands of the attorneys representing them and, in the end, the judge who hands down their final decree. With divorce mediation, parents are actively involved in creating the terms and are present during negotiations. They still hold the power in their hands.
  5. Mediation has a Higher Rate of Compliance: Possibly most beneficial in the long run, divorces handled through mediation typically experience higher rates of compliance. No one likes being told what to do. It could be as simple as that. When people are able to have a say in what is happening, they are more likely to accept it moving forward. This can avoid a lot of drama and stress (and potential expense) in the future as managing non-compliance after divorce can be even more contentious than going to court for a divorce in the first place.

If you want to hear more about the benefits of divorce mediation, get in touch with an experienced family law attorney at The Maggio Law Firm today so we can help you determine if divorce mediation is the best answer for you and your family.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

How Long Should You Wait After Separation To Get A Divorce?

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce lawyers; The Maggio Law FirmThe answer to this question is not an easy one as it depends on several factors. The very first thing people should do is to check local laws in the state they are residing for knowing more about legal separation periods. The laws may be different from one state to another with respect to the time period for which you and your spouse should be separated to file for your divorce.

Thus, it makes sense to consult a lawyer or do some research on the state where you live beforehand. Apart from these reasons, there are emotional and psychological elements determining how long the couple would like to stay separately before taking the final step. There are many couples for instance who are legally separated for several years and do not intend to begin the divorce process.

Is your decision to divorce your spouse clear?

There could be several reasons for a couple to decide for a separation. Plus, there could be different outcomes coming out of a legal separation. On various occasions, couples decide that they should reunite and even find that their relationship has evolved to be stronger than ever before. On the other hand, there are couples who realize that the process of separation further escalated the stress and conflicts in their marriage. Some couples find out that the period of separation made them experience emotions like shock, denial or numbness.

Very often, it is natural for the estranged couples to go through a roller coaster of feelings during their separation when their divorce proceeding starts. Human temperaments can be quite volatile. So it is not unusual to lose emotional control. Thus, for some couples reaching a final decision may be a difficult one to make. You and your partner can take as much time as you both want to provided it is witin your state’s legal guidelines. On the other hand, some clients are known to complain that the process is too lengthy, particularly when somebody is clear about going ahead with a divorce.

It is important to take care of the logistics

It is another crucial factor, which has a role to determine how long a separation should last prior to start divorce proceedings. Some of the logistic factors, which may drag the time period of a separation include illness of a family member and when a spouse needs to stick to a certain healthcare plan.

Irrespective of how brief or lengthy a separation period is, it can be quite stressful for several couples. So, it makes sense to create or join new options for social support during this trying period.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated!  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Common Divorce Tips for Fathers

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce lawyer; The Maggio Law FirmIf you are in the divorce process as a father, there are certain important points that you should try to follow so that the transition process is a smooth one. Here are some of the most common divorce tips for dads.

There should be an open communication between you and your soon to be ex-wife

When you and your wife divorce in an amicable manner, the process becomes a smooth one. When partners are able to treat one another in a civil manner, there are fewer miseries and heart breaks during the divorce process. Often, if there is emotional pain, it may have a deep impact on the ability to judge things and make decisions. It also ascertains how your life will be post the divorce. So, have a check over your anger and also try to be respectful towards your ex-wife. Kids may lose faith in their parents when they do not validate their emotions or refuse to share any concern Condole your child when they cry. Try to convince them that you emphasize with them though you may not agree with their feelings. It is natural for a kid to take sides and to show favoritism towards one parent when the divorce is going on. It is also not unusual that your children will go through a range of emotions like fury, fear and confusion while the divorce proceedings are going on. As a result, your kid can say certain hurtful things even though they may not mean them. It could be extremely painful for you to let your kid vent her/his emotions, especially about the divorce. However, it also means that it is an important step towards building trust. When children start trusting their parent, they also start valuing their relationships with their mothers and fathers.  Your children should be always in a position to trust you.

You should be ready to negotiate

You will have to negotiate the legal issues of the divorce with your life. But the process of negotiation with your former wife and your kids will continue for several years. If you can negotiate properly during your divorce process, you can sort things out of a divorce court. When you take the help of a mediator and do what is fair to all the involved parties, you can have a hassle free divorce. Irrespective of what kind of child custody is awarded to you, occasions will be there when you get to spend some time with the children and visit them. These occasions should of top priority to you. The ideal outcome should be when your kids get an opportunity to spend equal time with their mother and father.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated!  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Ways to Help Your Kids Cope After Your Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce lawyer; The Maggio Law FirmWhen you are going through and also after divorce, here are some ways to be a good parent and limit the adverse impact on your kids due to your divorce:

Should engage in a harmonious co-parenting, which benefits your kids

There are parents who are known to co-parent effectively until the time their kids become 18 years old.  However, there are a lot of events in your children’s lives even after they turn 18 where both you and your ex-spouse need to be involved as parents. Your little ones will be graduating from their colleges one day, get married and become parents themselves. Thus, there will be several such occasions where divorced parents are still expected to continue co-parenting even after their kids become adults. You can get in touch with a reputable parenting coordinator so that an effective parenting plan can be devised to serve the requirements of your children and then, co-parent.

You should not complain about how things are at the home of the other parent. Moreover, do not intervene even if your kids remain awake till late hours at the home of their other parent. Effective co-parenting means to be cool with how your kids are taken care of in their other home and trust that your children are happy and safe while they are at your ex-spouse’s home.

Try to build up a civil relationship with your former spouse

Your kids should not be used as pawns by you to get even with your ex. Moreover, they should be kept out of any type of hurt feelings or problems due to your divorce or marital problems. Every mother and father has a deep influence in the lives of their kids. Children can only become healthy and good human beings when they are positively influenced by both their parents. Moreover, your children should have an equal contract with both you and their other parent even after the divorce. Do not try to alienate your ex where the children are concerned. When you truly love your kids, you need to ensure that they have everything they require though you do not share a good relationship with your former spouse.

You should not express your negative feelings about the other parent in front of the children

Look for an alternative outlet when you want to vent out your grudge and emotions about your ex, your friends, family members are a professional therapist can give you better support than your kids. After all, your kids are definitely not equipped to cope up with your negative emotions.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated!  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Helpful Tips When Discussing Child Custody With Your Spouse

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Best Orange County divorce attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmIn real world nothing is perfect and so a marriage that appeared perfect some years ago may crumble all of a sudden. When you and your spouse decide to split, there are several crucial issues to be tackled. Child custody is one of those major issues that you need to settle during your divorce process when you have kid(s) from your marriage. If you find yourself tangled in a child custody dispute, you should be careful about what to do and to refrain yourself from specific activities, which may otherwise have a harmful repercussion on your case. Read on to know some tips to follow while discussing child custody with your estranged partner.

Hire a good divorce mediator

It is quite possible that you and your former spouse do not share an amicable relationship with one another. Discussing any issue can actually be quite difficult as both of you know that you will end up fighting with one another with no positive outcomes coming out of your talks. So, if both of you want to sort out your child custody disputes in such a scenario, it is best to hire the services of a professional and unbiased mediator who can bring both of you together for discussion and negotiation. For maximizing the effectiveness of your child custody issues hire one of those Orange County divorce mediators who is acceptable to both you and your spouse.

Do not make any major solo decision about your kid(s)

It is important to understand that while your discussions on child custody is on, you should refrain from making any important decisions on your own when it is about your child. Make sure that all major decisions about the kids are made jointly with your spouse. Some of these decisions could be related to the kid’s religion, health. upbringing and education. To elaborate it further. It could be decisions regarding which school should you put your child in, which physician should be consulted for your child and so on.

Try to be courteous while discussing custody matters

While no one expects both of you to behave as of nothing has happened, at least try to be polite to each other while negotiating on child matters. After all, even after the custody issues get settled, you still have to coordinate with one another for your child’s upbringing. Losing your cool while discussing the custody issues will not yield any results. Rather your spouse could become more adamant and hostile and decide not to cooperate with you during the discussion. He or she may turn completely aggressive and oppose every suggestion or idea you put forward. Also stop indulging in blame game during the custody dispute as that may aggravate the situation further.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated!  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

What Happens To Property After A Split Between Cohabiting Couples?

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

best divorce attorneys in Orange County; The Maggio Law FirmCohabiting couples are two individuals who stay together under one roof but are not married. Today it has become a trend to stay with each other before getting married and an increasing number of couples are following this trend. During cohabiting, couples accumulate property that is jointly owned by both of them. However, during a split, they have difficulty dividing the property. Property division is a headache even for married couples and can become confusing. Below are some of the factors that help property division for cohabiting couples.

Palimony

Common law marriage is not recognized by California which means that cohabiting couples do not enjoy the same rights as married couples. Cohabiting individuals are however entitled to palimony during a split. Palimony is the division of assets and finances between unmarried and cohabiting couples. Palimony is not part of the state law and depends mostly on an agreement made by the couples staying together. For palimony to become effective, the partner who made the agreement must prove that before living together some sort of agreement was made between the two regarding property division.

Cohabitation property agreement

Creating a cohabitation property agreement is a good idea especially in the beginning of a relationship. This provides a proof that a certain arrangement was made prior to marriage. In such circumstances, none of the individuals in the relationship can make a false claim related to property division. Usually, cohabitation agreements include details about specific assets and to whom do they belong. It also includes bank account, credit card and insurance details. The agreement is a record of property discussions that were made when both individuals were free of tension and stress.

Liability of debts

Unlike in marriage, where an individual can take care of his/her partners debts, unmarried partners are not necessarily responsible for each other’s debt. But if they hold a joint account or if one is the guarantor for the other, debts can be taken care by the other spouse. In most cases, each individual is responsible for their own debts.

Conclusion

Property division is an important issue during divorce and for unmarried couple things can become complicated when they lack proper understanding. There are palimony agreements and cohabitation property agreements that can be used to protect asset and property division. Debts are usually taken acre by each individual unless it is a question of joint account.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated!  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Understanding Palimony & “Marvinizers” In California Cases

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce lawyer; The Maggio Law Firm, Inc.Palimony may sound like alimony but there are subtle differences between the two. For one, Palimony is applicable for unmarried couples who lived together before getting separated. Both of them work in a similar fashion and both involve spousal support paid by one partner to the other.

Marvin v. Marvin

The word palimony was first used during a court trial involving two unmarried partners who split shortly after a live-in relationship. ended. In 1976, actor Lee Marvin from California had a palimony case against him by his girlfriend Michele Triola for failing to fulfill his promise of financial support. Marvin’s promise made Michele quit her career and move in with her boyfriend as a homemaker. Since the couple were not married, it was up to the California court to decide the division of marital property. The court did not require an agreement from the couple in writing and passed the judgment based on their implied contract.

Palimony later became synonymous with financial support unmarried couples. The famous case was used as an example in a number of different cohabitation separation cases.

Cohabitation agreements

The court did not require a written agreement during the Marvin case but now modern-day courts require a written agreement of some form during palimony cases. There are cohabitation agreements which ensures that both individuals in a relationship recognize the rights of each other. Cohabitant agreements exist to protect the individuals in a relationship against unfair treatment. It mostly includes property rights but there might be other rights included in the agreement as well.

Hire a lawyer

Palimony laws and agreements may not work in the same way as alimony laws and should be handled by professional lawyers. To understand when and where a palimony is used, hiring a good and experienced lawyer should be the first step. A good lawyer can not only tell you how to make the most of a palimony but can also help guide you through the necessary steps in a palimony agreement.

Conclusion

Unmarried couples should know palimony laws and rules before moving in with each other. A palimony is used to protect the financial assets of one partner against misuse by the other partner. To prevent the other partner from taking advantage of the palimony agreements, individuals should consult experienced lawyers. Lawyers and attorneys who know the agreement rules in detail can provide a better insight and prevent substantial damage against their clients.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated!  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

What Are Watts Charges In A California Divorce?

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

divorce lawyers in Orange County; The Maggio Law FirmWatts charges, also known as Watts credits, is often used in California divorce proceedings. The term was derived from Marriage of the Watts, a 1985 case.

What are Watts Charges/Credits?

A Watts credit is basically a charge that one spouse can make against another for half of a community’s asset in use, post-separation. The Watts charge is basically calculated based on the value attributed to the actual use of the property. For example, if the community asset is a home that one of the spouses is living in, exclusively, then the other spouse can charge the spouse living in the house for one half of the value ascertained for the house. The value in this case would be the use value or the fair rental value of the house in question. Therefore, the Watts Charge will be one half of this fair rental value, and that is the sum that is going to be charged by the spouse.

Exceptions to Watts Charges

There are however some exceptions to the Watts Charge. The Watts Charge cannot be enforced if:

  • The fair rental value of the community asset was already taken into consideration while determining spousal support.
  • The community asset was given as a gift to the spouse
  • The spouses had earlier signed an agreement that negates the Watts Charge

How to prove Watts Charges

In order to prove Watts Charge, the spouses would require an admissible evidence of the value of the asset in use. For example, in the earlier used case of the house/residence, the spouse proving the Watts Charge will need to testify to the fair rental value, monthly, of the residence. Although the spouse can testify himself/ herself, it would be better to have an expert witness testify. This is so as the spouse may not have the subject matter expertise to share their opinion on this particular subject. The kind of expert required to testify, mainly depends on the kind of community asset in question. For example, a residence valuation will require a different expert from that of business equipment or of artifacts.

Watts credits is a complex issue and you should only apply for them when you are sure you qualify to do so. It is recommendable to seek legal counsel with a California divorce advocate and decide on the matter after a private consultation.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated!  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

How Prenuptial Agreements Can Affect The Lives Of Couples

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Top Orange County divorce lawyers; The Maggio Law FirmMarriage is an exciting affair especially when you know that you are going to spend the rest of your life with a special someone. Marriage is more than just a bond between two individuals. It is also a bond between two families. And as the bond strengthens, it is only likely that the couple will make plans for finances and assets to secure their future. But such plans are slowly becoming a thing of the past. Now, most couples want to secure their personal finances which include properties and other assets. And this has given birth to something called a prenuptial agreement.

A prenuptial agreement is a legal agreement made before marriage to secure personal finances during a divorce. As per divorce laws in California, properties must be divided equally among both individuals. Prenups can be helpful during property division, but it can also have neagative effects as well.

Prenups can be the result of divorces

A marriage is based on faith and trust and a prenuptial agreement is a proof of lack of both. The one who files for a prenuptial agreement doubts the other over property and assets. He/she does not trust that his/her partner will play fair if a divorce arises in the future. It is likely for a divorce to take place because of trust issues. The individual against whom the prenup is made feels cheated to some extent. A divorce in such cases can be initiated by either of the two partners.

Prenups can protect personal finances

Prenuptial agreements may sound bad but they were made for a good cause. Prenups protect personal finances and assets from unfair property divisions during divorce. A prenup prevents a California court from dividing a personal property which has been claimed by an individual in a prenuptial agreement.

Prenups can damage the relationship between families

As mentioned before, a marriage is a bond between two families. Sometimes, during prenuptial agreements, either of the couple’s families become upset. The reason for being upset is the same as that of the individual who must agree to the prenup agreement. Prenups make relationships bitter and most family members remember it long after the divorce.

Conclusion

Prenuptial agreements can be a good idea if you wish to protect your personal financial assets during a divorce. However, there are negative consequences and a lawyer should be hired to handle a prenup in the best way possible.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated!  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

 
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