Advice for Stay-At-Home Mothers Facing Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Child custody attorneys Orange County; The Maggio Law FirmBoth you and your spouse have had your own distinct roles when you were a mom who stayed at home. While your husband went out to work, you did your part inside the house and things were going on nicely. But now that you are going through the divorce process, you may want to do various things to ensure that your divorce is a smooth one. After all, you have to get ready for your life ahead after your divorce. Check out the following smart tips while facing a divorce.

Tip 1: Get in touch with an experienced financial advisor

When you consult an experienced financial advisor, they can be of a big help to assess your potential settlement choices from the perspective of future planning as well as cash on hand. He or she can guide you in investing any non-retirement or retirement funds that you get as a settlement amount from your divorce. A financial advisor can also assist you in putting together a budget that can help you to find out the amount of money you will require after the divorce and often helps you to stay away from any kind of financial difficulty.

Tip 2: Consult a good accountant

You may have had an accountant who guided both you and your spouse when you were married. However, now that you are getting divorced, you will need an account exclusively of your own.

You should have an accountant of your own for various reasons. An important reason is there could be certain occasions during a divorce when you will need an accountant for reviewing your potential settlements. An accountant can also help you in understanding the tax consequences while guiding you in matters that are usually in your interests. So it is time you have a different accountant of your own and stop sharing the sand accountant as that of your husband.

Tip 3: Get your house appraised

A big mistake some couples commit is when they let a mediator guess the worth of the home they were living in. It could be highly likely that your house is the biggest asset for you. Hence it makes sense to get it valued properly rather than relying on certain websites who are into conducting valuation of the properties. When you fail to do so, you may end up in different types of troubles as Internet values may not be the actual ones. In case you are thinking of purchasing the home from your spouse or vice versa, you may have to ascertain that the sale price of the property is a proper and fair one.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

 

What Are The Common Causes of Conflict in a Marriage?

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Top Orange County divorce attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmAll marriages go through conflicts and so you will be hardly surprised when you go through the following sources of discord between you and your spouse. After going through them, you need to consider the ones that are applicable for you and your partner.

Children

Check out the following kid-related conflicts that may come up between you and your spouse

  • Ways of discipline them
  • Many parents enter into a competition unknowingly to get the approval of their children
  • Degree or magnitude of disciplining the children

Work

  • When a spouse works for excessively long hours
  • Not earning enough despite working for such long hours
  • When a spouse needs to travel excessively for work

Money

Here is a reason of spousal conflict that reflects plenty of stuff such as trust, power, and control. There are many such cases where one of the spouses misused or misled their money and consequently broke the trust. In fact, the feeling could be as traumatic as a spouse feels when he or she is betrayed by their partner. Money also offers options. These choices become more when plenty of money is involved. When there is less money, options become limited while the stress level can be high due to lack of it. That is precisely the reason why many therapists and marriage counselors advise the couples to be careful about acquiring debts, especially at an early stage. The initial years and months in any marriage can be stressful for doing the normal adjustments, which are required to be made. So, couples should not incur early debt and increase the stress further

In-laws

It is one of the sensitive subjects since it is all about the family. There are several occasions when the in-laws may interfere too much leading to situations of conflict in a marriage.

Time commitments

There are situations when overbooking may occur in a subtle manner, All of a sudden when you look around; you find that you are drowning yourself in commitments. It is better to calendar your time so that the air can be cleared and you can reconnect. You can plan such times while away on an annual retreat. In fact, you may feel out of control and somewhat lost without it. Such events can invariably lead to more conflicts and stress in a marriage.

Former girlfriends or ex-boyfriends

Today, social media offers a chance to get in touch with old and lost friends and in some cases reunite with those special and “dear” friends. You should be very cautious about situations like these. In case you experience tension in the house due to such relationships, you should close such accounts or unfriend them to move on with your life. After all, it is not the right time when you should defend your old but just good friends from yesteryear. It is possible to lead your life without the social media when it strains the trust factor in your marriage.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

What To Know About Business Valuations In California Divorces

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

orange county divorce lawyers; The Maggio Law FirmProfessional business valuations is an expensive task in any marital dissolution. The spouse who manages the business quickly realizes that techniques used to value the practice have no relation with the practice’s fair market value. The spouse can then in all fairness insist that no willing buyer can be found. There can also be concerns regarding “double dipping”. This comes as the same earnings used to calculate a value in such a practice can also be utilized for calculating the support. In case the practice has a value of marital efforts, it must also be divided.

In California, a number of cases have reviewed techniques utilized by experts when valuing any professional practice. One consistent factor common between all decisions is the court will honor any technique for valuing such a practice. This includes goodwill. These will remain true as long as value is legitimately established by the evidence.

General principles

A trial court, when determining the value of any professional practice, must find out existence and the value of a number of factors. These include fixed assets like furniture, law library, cash, supplies and equipment and a number of other assets like accounts receivable, costs advanced with collectability chances, work in progress that are partially completed, but not receivable billed, and also work which is completed, but not yet billed. The practitioner’s goodwill in his business as going concern and the practitioner’s liability related to the business.

Other general principles include the business nature and enterprise history from the time of its inception. It also includes the general economic outlook and also the outlook and condition of the particular industry concerned. The stock’s book value and the business’s financial condition also plays a  role. The company’s earning and dividend paying capacity are also important.

Value standard

Unlike when assets are to be divided in kind, Californian courts can be obligated to rule on assets values and then divide them equally. Considerable debate has been allowed to find the proper standard to use in valuing marital assets. This is more fueled by the imprecise use of court terms like “going concern value” or “investment value”. The worst term is “value”.

Treasury regulations in the United States define fair market value as price in which property will communicate between a buyer and a seller. They both should not be under any compulsion to sell or to buy. Both must also have relevant knowledge about the facts.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the Orange County divorce process in California.  

Why Do Some People Remarry Their Ex-Spouse After Divorce?

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Top Orange County divorce attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmSometimes, spouses cannot save their marriage for different reasons and eventually split up and divorce.  However, sometimes such couples meet each other years later and find that they still have feelings and a spark for each other, and even contemplate remarrying their former spouses.  Why is that?  Here are some of the reasons why some people want to remarry their ex-spouses:

Distance and time make them realize their feelings for another

There are many such occasions and instances when the couples only realize their affection for one another after they get divorced. In fact, in such cases, though they have been separated from one another, these couples may still feel connected to each other.

Anger dissipate as they get time to ponder and reflect

When couples part after their divorce, it becomes simpler to reflect on their relationships and what went wrong. With the passage, if time, their negative feelings for one another may not be as intense as they were earlier. Moreover, the ex-spouses start acknowledging their shortcomings for the failure in their marriage. Realization on how things could have been made better is an initial step to reconcile and work out their relationships

Grass is not always greener on the other side

Some former couples thought that things would be better after parting ways. They felt there were other people who understood them better.  However, after being single for dime time, these couples start feeling that their former spouse was much better than the people they dated subsequently.

Changes in personality and falling in love once again

As people grow older, they change and become more mature. However, that does not mean these couples have grown apart. There could have been the end of the marriage since spouses changed. But there is a possibility that some of them may change once again at a later stage of their lives. They find that they still live their ex-husband or ex-wife.

In case the partners are not able to pardon one another, the negativity may still remain within them. However, when something alters or when they spend time separated from one another and later on see things in a balanced perspective, they may forgive one another and can even reconnect.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the Orange County divorce process in California.  

How To Reconcile After Filing For Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange county divorce attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmYou have already signed the settlement documents but a part of you all of a sudden feels that you should not have finalized your divorce. Hence, you are anxious to know ways of reconciling your marriage. In case you feel that the issues in the marriage can be reversible and both of you can work towards resolving them, there is a possibility of reconciliation. The most crucial point to note here is that while putting in efforts to reunite with your spouse, you may have to begin all over. Thereafter, you may consider these ways for reconciliation after your divorce.

Talk as much as possible

Remember the time when you met your ex-spouse for the first time?  Both of you spoke and communicated a lot. You need to repeat the same process all over again. Speak to your ex-husband or ex-wife as much as possible. Email, text or call to discuss the issues that is crucial in their day. You should also show your enthusiasm in all those activities your former partner is interested in. Be vocal and compliment him/her. Tell your ex-spouse how much you missed them. Once the initial courting period ends, ask then for the first date. You should regard this date as an occasion as if you are young out with a new person.

Discuss the issues and concerns that haunted your marriage

Once you have established a rapport with your ex-husband or wife, you can start discussing the issues related to your marriage. The most appropriate time for doing this is when you realize that your ex-spouse is ready for commitment once again. After all, you round hardly want history to repeat itself once again. Else your new relationship may have the same conclusion like your previous marriage had. You need to be frank about discussing what went wrong the previous time Keep an open mind when you discuss the causes of the breakup. At times discussing these things can be tough and so counseling could be an excellent mechanism to bring out the concerns in the open so that you can work on them to sort out as effectively as possible.

Proceed gradually and be cautious

While it is easy to hurry up in re-establishing the rapport with your former spouse since it may feel like you are dating him/her for the first time like the old days, you need to apply caution. Do not get carried away by your emotions since things may crash. You should take one step at a time and keep a close tab on how things are progressing between the two of you. Though you should appreciate that it is a fresh beginning, do not forget that there is a past attached to it, which requires resolution and contemplation.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the Orange County divorce process in California.  

How to Help Your Kid through Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce attorney; The Maggio Law FirmAs thousands of couples decide to end their marriages every year, their kids are also affected in the process. But their reactions will depend to a large extent on their personality, the circumstances under which the parents decided to separate and their age. Kids often get affected when their parent’s divorce. Often, the first reaction these children go through is that of sorry, anger, frustration, sadness, and shock. However, these children can deal these feelings in a better way as they know how to cope up with stress. As an end result, many of them are more tolerant and flexible when they become young adults. At such trying times, the most crucial things both the parents can do are to help their children steer through it by taking the following steps:

Important steps

  • Try to minimize disruptions in the daily routines of their children.
  • Make sure that legal talks, heated arguments, and visible conflicts happen away from the kids.
  • Do not be negative in front of them. Conversation with close friends and private therapy sessions should not take place inside the house.
  • Both the parents should be involved in the lives of their kids. Indifference will hurt them more.

People going through divorce or separation require lots of emotional support from their families, clergy, professionals and friends. However, these adults should never seek support and help from their children though they may appear ready to do so.

Break the news gently

The moment you are completely sure of your divorce plans, you should speak to your children about the decision to separate. Yes, it will be not an easy task to break this news. In case it is possible, it is better if both the parents are present while the news is shared. Make sure that you adopt a neutral and unbiased tone and do not express your emotions of guilt, anger or disillusionment while telling them about your separation. Of possible rehearse how you are going to break the news from beforehand so that you go not lose your temper or become upset during the discussion.

You should discuss the matter in accordance with the temperament, maturity, and age of your kids. But one statement should be common. Whatever took place between both of you; your kids are not responsible for that. This is because a majority of the children feel that they should be blamed when things did not work out between their parents. So, it is extremely crucial that the parents reassure their kids about this.

Rather tell your children that at times the adults do not agree on things or their love for one another change and so they decide to live separately. But also tell them that children will tie the parents forever no matter what happens.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the Orange County divorce process in California.

Top Questions To Ask Before Hiring An Orange County Divorce Lawyer

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

best divorce attorneys in Orange County; The Maggio Law FirmAre going through a divorce proceeding and are looking frantically for a good divorce lawyer? It is important to note that you generally should avoid hiring the first attorney you got in touch with. Selecting the right divorce lawyer to help you in getting a speedy divorce should be a crucial divorce-related decision, which you need to make.

Be cautious

It is possible that a close acquaintance has sent you a referral to a family law attorney but you should still need to do a bit of homework before saying yes. It is important to check the qualifications of the attorney and ensure that the person concerned has adequate experience in handling your case. There is no dearth of lawyers in the market and you will find that many of them market themselves as “divorce” or “family law” attorneys.

Questions to ask

Here are some questions you could contemplate asking a family law attorney during your first interview with him or her. All these questions will help you to ascertain if the said lawyer is apt for your divorce case or not.

  1. Is divorce part of the lawyer’s practice? How long has he been associated with practicing family law? Is he a family law specialist? Is he aware of the total number of family cases handled by him?
  2. How will launch time it approximately take to resolve your case? Will there be any specific strategy for speedy resolution of your case?
  3. How will you contact him or her in the event of an emergency? How much time does he normally take to return the clients’ phone calls? What are the events he or she regards as an emergency situation?
  4. Will there be anyone else in his or her chamber who will be also working on your case? If yes, can you meet them? What is the kind of experience they hold?
  5. What is his hourly rate? How will he or she charge you? What is his or her retainer up front? Will he charge for the time you spend with some other lawyers or with the secretaries?
  6. What costs does he or she expect to incur apart their own legal fees? For instance, the costs could be incurred for psychologists, physicians, forensic accountants and private investigators. How does he plan to charge you for such costs?
  7. What does he feel about the estimated total cost of your divorced? You should be prepared as most of the times, a divorce law attorney will be unwilling to respond to this query since the divorce cost could depend on a great extent on the level and complexity of your individual case. But, the manner in which the said lawyer replies to this query of yours will help you to know what they are expecting? An attorney who is honest may usually respond by saying that it is tough to estimate the total expenses in advance. On the other hand, a lawyer who quotes too low an amount could be just making an attempt to get a business
  8. Will the lawyer permit you to do a direct negotiation with your estranged spouse? What are the ways of keeping your divorce cost down? Can you do any such tasks that will lead to the reduction of his or her fees?

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Is Divorce Affecting Your Mental Health?

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

orange county divorce attorney; The Maggio Law FirmThose who have been through a divorce actually realize that it is hardly a picnic. At least, the statement is true for most of the divorced couples. Both the emotional as well as the legal process can take a toll on your physical and mental well being. When you find yourself entangled in a divorce that is full of drama and high conflict, your case may drag on for an indefinite time period. Further, your mental health can suffer due to your emotional turmoil. Research has proved that a divorce can even affect your heartbeat and sleeping habits.

Plus, there is plenty of uncertainty, which comes as an additional baggage with your divorce making you feel insecure today or even in the future. Based on your unique circumstances, it is possible that you need to move all of a sudden, resume work after many years when your sole focus was on your home and kids. You may even have to survive with fewer funds than before. When you are aware of the mental health issues that may pop up during your divorce, you can be in control over your emotional and physical health and are able to take all such steps that can prevent excessive damage.

Divorce and anxiety

There are ample case studies to prove that divorce may expose the involved parties to a higher risk of a mental state such as anxiety. This emotional state may be reflected by chronic worry, increased physical agitation, panic attacks, restlessness or fearfulness, and irritability. It is normal to be busy with the various details and intricacies of your divorce, relationship issues with your former spouse and thinking about those negative issues that you may have to cope up with next. Anxiety can lead to a feeling of obsessiveness while causing havoc to your everyday function, sleep, and concentration. In case you feel that you are suffering from high degrees of anxiety while your divorce proceeding is still going on or after your divorce, you should either get in touch with your physician promptly or try out any or all of the following natural remedies.

Search for support groups or a professional counselor

  • Pursue some new hobbies
  • Exercise regularly
  • Form new friendships
  • Get engaged in meaningful work
  • Volunteer to help others
  • Get in touch with your friends and family for support

Divorce and depression

Depression occurring due to a painful life event such as divorce is not same as clinical depression. The former is referred to as situational depression of adjustment disorder. However, both situational depression and clinical depression may manifest in a similar manner.

Depression after a divorce may also happen due to some other factors. These are as follows:

  • Avoiding one’s friends and family
  • Staying away from responsibility
  • Engaging in conflict or fighting
  • Performance becomes poor at workplace due to inadequate or no focus

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

How To Run A Family Business With Your Ex-Spouse

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce lawyers; The Maggio Law FirmStatistics claim that the United States alone has about one million businesses jointly run by couples. At the same time, as many as 9,00,000 divorces get filed each year in the country. Now, that also means that several marriages where a husband and wife run a joint business form a component of their marital assets will also end in divorce. But there need not be any dissolution of a business partnership just because the marriage has ended.

If a marriage gets dissolved and there is an involvement of a jointly-run business, then the options available are limited and may be associated with their own set of complications, Firstly, such a business could be sold; secondly, any one of the former spouses, who is a partner too can buy the share of the other partner; thirdly, the divorced couple can also continue running the business jointly.

Check out the following tips if you and your ex-want to run your jointly owned business even after your split.

Mutual recognition is crucial

In order to run such a business in an effective manner, both the parties should respect and realize the contributions made by the other party and acknowledge that each one of them added their valuable skills to their business. They must also recognize that such skills still have high importance and will continue benefiting their business in the future. While it is not necessary to praise your former spouse every now and then, it is also important to recognize your stakeholder’s contribution in the jointly-owned business

Role definition is a must

It is possible that the once married couples cum partners may not be attending similar meetings or continue managing the same affairs. When one is looking after business operations and the other partner is into sales, things are manageable. However, if both the partners manage the daily operations of the business, things may not work out. It is a normal phenomenon to find that divorced couples may not see eye-to-eye on several issues. Hence, it makes sense to minimize situations where direct interactions may take place.

Partners should show maturity

There are some behavioral traits, which can help to make this work. When a marriage gets dissolved it is normal for the exes to be not in the best of terms. Hence, it is important for both of them to exhibit more maturity by keeping their emotions in check so that the business benefits at the end.

To stay as business partners even after the dissolution of a marriage partnership may work reasonably well if both the partners work hard and continue contribution in the same manner as they used to while being married.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

What Are The Steps To Follow For Separating From Your Husband?

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Top Orange County divorce attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmIn case you are contemplating to separate from your husband, safety should be your most important concern. If you feel that your husband is likely to abuse you either physically or verbally, it is essential that there is a proper legal and support structure in place for you.  The following are a couple of steps you can follow for separating from your husband.

Step #1: Make sure that you are safe

You should take a few practical steps such as contacting local organizations for domestic violence or help lines. You can also get in touch with your local law enforcement agency for filing a restraining order. A crucial step many people tend to take is to stay with their close family member or a friend, in case such an option is available. These women should make it a point to let their loved ones know what is going in their lives if they have not done so already. Although, it is a tough thing to do, it is really important.

Step #2: Know how divorce and separation works

If you are planning to divorce your husband, it is important to find out how divorce and separation works in the state where you are living

Ideally, separation exists in two forms, formal and informal. If you want to go for a formal separation, you need to hire a lawyer for creating a separate agreement. The agreement will dictate and distribute the responsibilities of both the partners like payment of debts, finances, childcare and housing arrangements.

It is a form of separation for which you have to bear expenses. Hence it is imperative for you to ask a family member or a friend to help you out or you can save it. Women are unhappy and their relationships may become unhealthy as finances become a strong barrier. But you should not feel despondent as human minds are structured for coming up with innovative and creative ideas. Even if you feel that you are quite smart, there are still possibilities of a breakthrough and come up with an interesting plan to access more money.

An informal separation is the second option to separate. A court may or may not be involved in this kind of a separation. The agreement can be prepared and signed by you and your spouse. But, if you have a marriage full of conflicts, this option may not be a realistic one. But things and people can be quite unpredictable and it may still be possible to arrive at a settlement even though both of you do not share the best of terms.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

 
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