Legal Landscape Divorce Tips for Guys

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Top Orange County divorce attorneys; The Maggio Law FirmDivorce is one of the hardest times in a person’s life. A divorce simply put is a decision that changes your life, your routines and your acquaintances. Divorces can be one of the most complexes, sad and even sadistic cases in the family law courts. Yet for guys divorce more often than not can be even harder than for a woman because they aren’t as expressive about it as women perhaps are.

To make sure that guys aren’t left alone to face the wrath of divorce, here are a few tips for guys to help them get through the divorce proceedings and the divorce with relative ease.

Don’t Move out Immediately, Think about it Carefully

In life there are nice guys, who want to have peace all around them even in situations where there is actually very little of it. Such guys are likely to have the desire to leave their homes to try and give their soon-to-be-former spouses peace. While doing so though, they without realizing it leave the fate of their child’s custody and visitation at the mercy of their mother only. Only when you have considered such facts about moving out should you make your decision.

Be Careful of the Lawyer You Choose

This is one of the most important tips.  As much as you may hate your wife and want to drag her to the cleaners, hiring an aggressive, fiery, lawyer is not necessarily the answer. The work of a lawyer is to be calm, collected, calculated and reasonable. If you are looking to have the best chance of getting something from your divorce case make sure you get a lawyer that has a clear plan, focus and strategy and not just a loud voice and a fiery tone.

If You Want Cheap, You Are Very Well Going to Get Cheap

There are loads of times in your life where the opportunity for saving money must have arrived and gone begging. Saving money off your lawyers’ fees or divorce proceedings costs is definitely not the thing you should be saving money on. While saving money may be a healthy habit, in the legal world if you go looking for cheap lawyers in terms of costs you are likely to get what you paid for, like anything else in life.

Keep Your Lawyer on Speed Dial

When you are going through a divorce, it is important that you have clear, open and constant communication with your Orange County divorce attorney. A clear and frequent communication means that you will be delving into the affairs of your case and are likely to be up to speed with all the developments. This is important to avoid complacency in your lawyer and to keep you focused on your divorce proceedings.

A Low Down On “Parental Gate-keeping”

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Top Orange County child custody attorney; The Maggio Law FirmParental gate-keeping can be broken down into paternal and maternal gate-keeping. Maternal gate-keeping has a far greater dominance over the paternal gate-keeping, yet the creation of barriers with respect to parent and child quality time, co-parenting and communication can be attributed to both in equal regard. This blog will set out to give you a brief low down on what parental gate-keeping exactly is.

What is Parental Gate-keeping?

In the context of family law, parental gate-keeping can be defined as an action or series of actions taken by a parent to protect the child from harm that is actual, perceived, or manufactured.

The 3 Categories of Parental Gate-Keeping

·         Parental Gate-Keeping Due To Actual Harm

This type of parental gate-keeping is sometimes referred to as protective gate-keeping. This type of gatekeeping is an action or series of actions taken by parent in an attempt to ward off the actual harm from the child. The most common example of such parental gate-keeping is parent protecting their child from emotional and/or physical abuse as well as emotional neglect. It is assumed that parents who use protective gate-keeping simply intend to do it in the best interest of their child and don’t intend on damaging the child-parent relationship.

·         Parental Gate-Keeping Because Of Perceived Harm

“Perception is stronger than reality.” This quote holds true in all aspects of life including family law proceedings and child custody issues. It is clear that in terms of divorce cases, the emotions can run high leading to concerns becoming fears in child custody proceedings of a divorce case.

This is often the case as observed with parents that have had sole authority of caring and nurturing of the child for most of the child’s life. In such instances, the notion of having their child taken away from them and placed in someone else’s custody for some periods of time due to the child custody settlements can lead to hypersensitive protective actions by the parents.

·         Parental Gate-Keeping Because Of A Manufactured Harm

Orange County family lawyers are likely to tell you, child custody proceedings are home to some of the most serious and heinous nature of false accusations leveled against one another. This type of gate-keeping is also known as restrictive gate-keeping and the use of false accusations makes up the core of this approach. This type of parental gate-keeping is reckless, malicious, and against the notion of genuine concern for the child and has more to do with the hate and sense of revenge towards the other spouse.

Threats You Should Be Aware Of In Family Law Proceedings

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce lawyer; The Maggio Law FirmDivorce is one of the hardest decisions for couples to take since it involves ending the relation that they had originally created to last a lifetime. Considering this, it is perhaps not surprising that Orange County divorce proceedings in courts are one of the most emotionally charged events. With emotions running high, divorce proceedings throw up sparks and verbal tirades by the spouses against each other on almost daily basis. One of the reasons for it is the sense of lack of fulfillment or guilt of the relation’s failure. Most spouses seem to want to transfer the guilt upon the other’s shoulders.

When the emotions run so high, there are several instances in divorces where one of the spouse or even both in a few cases threaten the other with verbal threats. Here is a list of a few of those threats and the importance and ultimate uselessness of such threats if any.

Do As I Say Or You Won’t Get A Dime!

This one of the most common threats that is leveled by dominant spouses against the other spouse who has been dependent on the other for support throughout the relation. At times spouse that have enjoyed authority and control all their life get stifled by the sudden change in their life in the shape of a divorce without their go ahead. In such cases, spouses tend to level such threats to try and regain control and exercise their authority over the other spouse. This threat though is simply a baseless one. Whether you will or won’t and the amount of financial support is all decided in the court by the judge and your spouse will have no direct control over it.

All These Discovery Requests Are A Ploy By Your Attorney To Raise Your Bill

The process of discovery can be important in divorce cases. Discovery process seeks to find out all the facts and information about the aspects of the other spouses life that are important to the proceedings. The primary of this is likely to be the financial position. These questions are likely to be sharp, pinpoint and relentless which means that the spouse at the wrong end of them will feel miffed and irritated. This threat is nothing but a ploy to somehow save them from this line of questioning.

I Will Go And File For Divorce Not Here But In Nevada

This threat is partially true yet the motive is all wrong. While spouses can file for divorce in other states of the U.S. besides California, you generally have to live in the state that you file for divorce in for a period of time before you can be considered a resident of that state.

The Brown Rule in Dividing Retirement Benefits in California Divorce Cases

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce lawyer; The Maggio Law FirmThe Brown rule refers to the 1976 case of Marriage of Brown. This rule is also known in the legal community as the “Time Rule.” The prevalent perception regarding this case is that it established a rule regarding the division of community property. The rule was basically about the issue that community property such as retirement benefits, etc. can be apportioned depending on the time it was earned in cases of marriage vs. pre-marriage and separation.

Application of the Brown Formula in Orange County divorce

Under the description of the Brown formula/time rule, the portion of the community property is regarded as ratio of the defined plan. This ratio is simply the time worked from the date of separation of the spouses to the time they were married. It is important to note that the plan holder needs to be employed for this rule to apply.

An example will help illustrate the fact. For example, a husband’s retirement benefits are a result of 10 years of his job. Also assume that the marriage took place 2.5 years after the husband started to work and ended 2.5 years before he retired. This means that the total of premarital and post separation time is 5 years and the time of employment in the time of marriage is also five years.

If the above case is considered in detail and the Brown rule is applied to the prevalent situation accurately to the t. 50% of the benefits are going to be classified by the courts as community property while the rest of the 50% will be regarded as separate property.   Once this is done, then the community properties amount whatever is calculated is halved and the resulting amount is what the spouse that is not working is going to be entitled to deserve.

How to Make the Most of Divorce Mediation

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce lawyer; The Maggio Law FirmRelationships and families are made with the aim of lasting a lifetime with all the essence of joy and heartfelt love. Yet, there are cases where unfortunately the circumstances demand that the couples break up their marriage and with it their families. Divorce is one of the hardest times a person can face whether it is the spouse or parent or even the child. There are many ways for couples to end their marriage and get a divorce. One of the better ways is mediation.

Mediation is when couples solve the divorce and its details in between themselves through communication with the help of a mediator. Any process of getting divorced is bound to have a its pros and cons. Here we give you a few pointers on how you can make the most of Orange County divorce mediation.

Timing Should Be Spot On

Timing of divorce is one of the most important aspects. Subsequently, it plays an important role in divorce mediation processes. While the time of the divorce is you and your partner’s prerogative, it is important that the time of mediation is earlier than your divorce. The further away the date of divorce and divorce mediation, the greater chance you have of being able to make the most out of your divorce. With more time, the communications are likely to be deeper and the resolution would be reached quicker. This can save you on a lot of time in addition to significant sum of legal fees.

Know What You Want To Achieve

The people that take most time on the road in one single trip are usually those that are unsure of their location. If you know the place you want to go tend to go straight for it instead of beating about the bush. The same applies in the case of divorce mediation. One of the most important ways you can extract the best out of divorce mediation is to go in it with a clear goal. When you know what you want to achieve, your divorce mediation is likely to stay focused and clear in its approach towards a resolution.

Think Ahead, Think Long Term

Emotions and feelings are closely attached with the word divorce. It is almost impossible to show a lack of emotion when one’s relationship is ending. While it is important to not bottle your emotions down and risk them boiling over at a critical moment. In divorce mediation, sometimes you need to set your emotions aside and think about the long term. Mediation is all about the communications between the spouses. To make the most of that, you need to set aside whatever emotion of hate or sadness you have towards your spouse, look towards the future, and think of the closure the resolution of this issue will give you.

Common Mistakes That Can Make Your Divorce Even More Traumatic

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Top family lawyers Orange County; The Maggio Law FirmWhen one hears the word divorce there are lots of memories or emotions that comes to our minds none of which are likely to be of joy. Divorce continues to be one of the most painfully draining experiences in a person’s life. Whether it is the first night in bed without your spouse or the empty wardrobe cabinet left by them leaving, divorce is packed with trauma. Irrespective of the reasons for your divorce, the feeling of failing at a relationship is more often than not consuming and traumatic emotionally.

With divorce being so traumatic in itself it is important that you stay away from doing anything that compounds the emotional ordeal to greater heights. Here is a guide to a few mistakes that can increase your emotional trauma.

Facing Divorce Alone Without Help

People who are strong willed and clear headed often believe that they are capable and mature enough emotionally to be able to go through the divorce process alone without the need for help. This though is one mistake that can have multiple affects on your life including emotional traumas. When you are going through your divorce you not only need an Orange County divorce lawyer, you also need your friends and family. They act as the rear guard in front of the person trying to strike out the vibes and trying to comfort and console you throughout and post your divorce.

Wanting To Make Buddies With Your Ex

There are a considerably large number of cases where one of the other spouse wants to maintain a health friendship with their ex after they have gone through a divorce. There is no doubting that there are amicably handled, peaceful divorce in the family law courts yet an ex will always be an ex. There are reason that you are your spouse have separated and aren’t living together. If you are willing to make friends with them again, be cautious of the extent of that friendship because chances is that the demons that you wanted to escape with divorce might start to come up in your life again. This could cause you nothing but mental trauma and waste of energies and hopes.

Using Your Divorce As An Excuse

While it is true that divorce is definitely one of the best excuses for all things wrong in one’s life it certainly isn’t the correct one. It is true that people that suffer from divorce are likely to affect your eating, thinking and sleeping capabilities but these cannot be used as an excuse for letting go of your grip on life. You should keep in mind this is but a temporary transition and that in a matter of few days or weeks you will be back to normal with a new life ahead of you to avoid this mistake. In times like these change of heart and attitude is a welcome thing for you and your friends.

6 Divorce Tips You Will Need Along The Way

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Divorce Lawyer Orange County; The Maggio Law FirmWhen it comes down to a divorce, whether you are considering going through one or are already in the middle of a divorce, you will know the complications and issues that are faced. Knowing the issues that you go through, here are 6 tips that you might be hearing for the first time, but all of which are vital to help you face your divorce.

·        Prepare Yourself To Experience Physical Reactions

Physical reactions here don’t mean any kind of physical abuse. If you are being subjected to anything such, you should at your earliest report it to the police. Divorce proceedings can be the most stressful times for you, and stress is known to impact your body. During your divorce proceedings, there are chances of negative impacts on your physical health, and to avoid that, you should put your health before everything else.

·        It Will Hurt And The Pain Will Remain For Some Time

Any kind of association, once broken, can be painful. A marriage on the other hand, isn’t just any association, it is a special relation between two individuals. When marriages break down and end up in divorces, the spouses are entitled to feel hurt. It is important to note that this hurt is not momentary, it will continue for a long time and the best way to negotiate it, is to stay strong.

·        There Will Be Some Feelings of Hate

When you are in the state of grief, there are different stages that people go through. Anger is one such stage of grief. It is natural for people who have gone through a divorce to have feelings of hate and anger towards their former spouse. While experiencing these feelings is natural, it is important that you don’t let them overwhelm you in your dealings with your kids.

·        Try To Be Subtle And Calm With Your Former Spouse

In divorce proceedings, there will be several instances when you and your spouse have to meet. In such times, you should control your ill feelings towards your former spouse, and try to respect them. A calm and subtle treatment of them is sure to go a long way in facilitating a peaceful post-divorce relationship.

·        Don’t Be A Favorite Parent, Be A Good Parent

Kids at a young age tend to declare their favoritism for one parent over the other. The worst thing you can do to your child, is ask them to make a choice between the two parents. This is likely to scar the children forever. The best way to tackle such a situation is to teach your kids to love both parents equally.

·        Problems Will Remain Problems; Try to Overlook Them

The reasons that you got a divorce are unlikely to change overnight after your divorce has been completed. Flaws in the character of your former spouse, for example, will remain. To make sure you get through situations, you have to ignore and let go of such things and try to stay unaffected by all bickering with your former spouse.

Take Care of Yourself Through a Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Top Orange County divorce lawyer; The Maggio Law FirmDivorces tend to be one of the most stressful times of one’s life and there are instances when one can be visibly shaken because of divorce. At this point, it is important to realize that despite being in a divorce and having to face the stress that comes with it, you should never forget to take care of yourself throughout the divorce proceedings. It does not matter if your divorce is a surprise or a long expected event, there are certain steps that you should take at the beginning of an Orange County divorce to make sure you are able to protect yourself.

Sign Documents After Reading Them Thoroughly

At the time of divorces, your spouse can suddenly become one of your greatest rivals. This rivalry, more often than not, can turn into cut throat competition where each of the spouse views the other as an enemy and wants to gain as much of benefits from the other as possible. In such situations, it has been commonly seen that spouses can retort to tactics such as tricking you into signing documents that strip you off one of your assets or raise an unnecessary legal complication for you. Be sure to view all documents thoroughly and ask for your divorce attorney’s advice before signing any such document.

Make Sure You Are Ready To Face False Claims

Continuing the discussion from the previous heading, in divorces, victory is the sole and ultimate purpose of most people. This means that your spouse will want victory whether it is by hook or by crook. In such times, there are likely to be several false claims and allegations filed against you. In such situations, you have to make sure you are ready to face such claims undeterred. Some of the allegations may even be about child molestation or domestic violence and yet the best way to protect you through them is to stay steadfast.

Immediately Call The Police In Case Of Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is taken seriously in the family law courts and domestic violence offenders are punished heavily. Call the police if you or your children are facing domestic violence. Be confident in front of the police and present your side of the story clearly. This will not only protect you at that particular moment but it will also help you significantly in your California divorce proceedings.

5 Threats that are Common in Divorce Proceedings

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Top Orange County divorce lawyers; The Maggio Law FirmIt is widely believed and almost a universal fact that divorce proceedings are usually hard on both the spouses. There is often an underlying sense of lack of fulfillment regarding the distribution of assets, the money, or the custody of the child at the end of a divorce. Such situations can cause a large amount of bitterness between the spouses. With emotions already running high, an added dose of non-fulfillment can spark a few accusations and threats towards each other.

Here are a few of these threats that you might receive from your spouse. Always though, remember that these threats hold no relevance until your case starts being heard.

“Don’t trust your attorney, mine will save you money and represent you better”

When it comes to choosing an Orange County divorce lawyer, it is important that you choose one that you have interviewed, one whom you know. You should be aware of their credentials and have the utmost confidence in his or her abilities. It is important that you stay well away from falling into the other spouse’s trap of getting yourself represented by their attorney. Their attorney, being their attorney first, is likely to work for their benefits and that can harm your court case.

“Your actions mean that I will never let you see the kids again”

There is absolutely no need for you to worry about such a threat. This is another one of those empty threats which holds no substance at all. Matters of child custody and child visitation are decided by the Family law court. They will look at the child’s best interest in mind when deciding both these issues and not listen to one or the other parent’s grudges.

“I will fight this case for eternity, I don’t care about the legal fees”

This is a common threat that is often used by spouses that feel strongly for vendetta. The purpose of such a threat is to scare the other party to back down without a fight. Whenever you are threatened this way, inform your divorce attorney that your spouse intends to delay the case and stretch it. A good lawyer will know how to handle such cases.

“I’ll go to jail but I won’t give you a penny”

This again is another one of those harmless threats. The Family courts have strong legal foundations and are there to ensure that you get all the support payments that you are entitled to. These payments can be either child support or spousal support. Jail sentence is also an option for a spouse that acts against court orders.

How To Protect Your Inheritance When Married or Getting Married

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce lawyer; The Maggio Law FirmOf all the assets that one might acquire over a lifetime, those that are inherited are often the most meaningful.  A bequest of a home or money often represents a special bond and hope for the future that were shared with a loved one.

Whether planning to marry or already married, many individuals choose to plan for the future of inherited assets, especially in case something unforeseen should happen to the marriage.  Such a plan can help ensure, for example, that a home passed down through the generations can remain in the family and be passed down to a child, rather than divided and sold due to the expense and uncertainty of a divorce.

The Wall Street Journal recently published an article with general advice on how to safeguard an inheritance from a divorce, which included some of the tips below.  But because California is a community property state, California residents should pay particular attention to the complexities involved in protecting an inheritance in California.

Consider Maintaining All Inherited Assets As Separate Property

California is a community property state, which means that the courts will divide commingled assets equally between spouses in a divorce. If a home, a car or a bank account is maintained in only one spouse’s name, the court will recognize that as separate property not to be distributed in a divorce.

In The Alternative, Create A Postnuptial Agreement

If you have already commingled assets, or if the idea of keeping things separate is not your style, create a postnuptial agreement that stipulates what would happen to inherited assets in the case of a divorce.  If you and your spouse agree that an inherited asset should stay with you, put that down in a formal agreement that a court will recognize.

Collect Documentation

If inherited assets have already been commingled with joint property, and a postnuptial agreement is not possible, your ability to claim the inherited asset as separate property in a divorce may already be compromised.  Nonetheless, with excellent documentation tracing what has become of the asset, an attorney may be able to help you maintain the rights to that asset in some cases.

If Not Already Married, Create A Prenuptial Agreement

Anyone planning to marry who has an important inherited asset should create a prenuptial agreement as a plan to protect that asset no matter what.  Prenuptial agreements may seem unromantic, but the discussion can be palatable and even caring when it is seen as a couple’s plan to ensure that each other’s wishes and well-being are taken care of come what may.