Dealing with Visitation After Divorce

A divorce is a devastating time for both the parties involved. But, it can be even more agonizing and perplexing for the children, who find it difficult to assimilate the reality that they no more get to stay with both parents together. However, visitation is a process that maintains the much needed connectivity between the family, during and after a divorce. Despite the fact that most visitations end up becoming the source of a conflict between the parents, it is utmost essential to understand and acknowledge the fact that their children belong to both of them. They need to accept the reality and work towards making the visitation process, a positive and healthy experience for their children. We are listing a few guidelines to make your visitation process a smooth and calming experience for everyone involved.

Be positive 

The first and foremost thing is, to remain optimistic and cheery, when going to meet your kids, post a divorce. The idea is to steer clear of any negativity that you have developed for your spouse, and concentrate more on the well being on your child.

 Be punctual

Your children need to know that they are important to you, and that you will be there for them, whenever they need. It is utmost essential to be on time for your visit, since this shows how much you value the meetings with your child. Structure your visits keeping your children as the focus point and indulge in spending quality time with them.

Allow your kid to call up the other parent

You need to accept and acknowledge the fact that your spouse has an equal right to your kid, as you. Allow your child to make phone calls to the other parent, when he is with you. It is important to exhibit to your child that you are willing to go that extra mile, just for the sake of fostering the relationship between a parent and his child.

Stay away from any arguments

There might several instances during your drop off or pick up times, wherein you felt tempted to bring out the differences with your spouse, and spark off an argument. However, it is imperative to understand that visitation is a time that is specifically designed for the benefit of your kids, and not to resolve your personal issues. Seeing their parents argue can have a detrimental effect on the psyche of your child, and should be avoided at all cost.

You need to keep in mind that by working together with your spouse in dealing with the visitation process in a positive manner, you can actually save your child from getting scarred for life.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law lawyer and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.