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Understanding How To Deal with A Narcissistic Spouse During Divorce

On Behalf of | Dec 2, 2014 | Divorce

Are you considering divorcing your narcissist spouse? If you are, it is very likely that you have already given their reaction to the divorce a lot of thought. This shows how difficult it can be to divorce a narcissist. Who is a Narcissist? Narcissists are people who are love themselves more than anyone else in the world. Being self-centered, self-applauding and self-absorbed are all indications of being a narcissist. These people are known to be control freaks, likely to entertain and agree on ideas and perspectives put forward by themselves. Here is some input as to narcissists react to divorce:

Domestic Violence and Child Abuse

If you have had a history of domestic violence or child abuse in your family, it is likely that your narcissist spouse will use the same tactics in his/her reaction to your decision regarding the divorce. They like to manipulate situations to their advantage and tend to get violent when things don’t go their way.  So protect yourself from such situations if you sense such a reaction from your spouse, including seeking legal assistance, to ensure the safety of you and your children.

Emotional Abuse

Here are examples of what a narcissist can threaten in a divorce: “You and your children will be on the streets if you go ahead with this divorce.” “I will leave work and you’ll be paying my support.” “I am going to stop you from seeing my kids.” “I will spend each and every penny I have to fight you.” If these threats sound like something your spouse would say, you should get legal help as soon as possible. These people are control freaks – the slightest indication of losing control can make them feel insecure and they won’t allow that to happen. When they are told about a divorce which is a significant life-altering decision, threats like these are common. While domestic violence is more common in a male narcissist, emotional abuse is likely to be used by both sexes with equal vigor.

Financial Abuse

This is another common way to react by not only narcissists but any person who wants to teach his or her spouse a lesson.  Again, being self-possessed, narcissists can opt to financial abuse as a means to keep the control of their life in their own hand and stop you from altering it altogether. They can resort to the following steps:

  • Hiding their assets
  • Refusing to pay child support or alimony
  • Driving up the fees of the litigation by delaying tactics

These are some of the ways we described that narcissist’s handle divorce. The key to your handling of such situations is patience, perseverance, and having legal counsel that can protect your rights while avoiding antagonizing of your narcissist spouse in the divorce case.  Each divorce case is different in some way and needs to be handled based on the circumstances of the case, and that can be affected by the type of parties involved in the divorce.