How To Help Children Deal With Divorce

Several factors can influence how kids are able to deal with their parents’ divorce. While a few of these factors can be influenced by your actions, there are others that can be uncontrollable. Several studies have inferred that the time period for the children to get adjusted after a divorce can stretch from a year to about three years. In some cases, it can be as many as 5 years depending on what circumstances surrounded the parents’ divorce. Parents need to understand that children can have various kinds of responses and reactions after they receive the news of their parents’ divorce. There could be certain short-time reactions as a response to the divorce. On the other hand, there could be certain long-term reactions that may be negative or positive, based on how parents handle the situation to help their kids.

The kind of information that is should be provided to children regarding divorce 

Your kids should receive helpful and supportive information, so you should take into account the following points as a parent.

• Make sure that your kids realize that both of you love them a lot and your divorce has got nothing to do with them.
• The information that you are planning to share with your kids should be age specific.
• You should not delay in addressing the immediate concerns of your children such as, ‘Will they continue studying in the same school?’, ‘Where will they live after your divorce?’, and so on.
• Try to reduce your conflicts and arguments with the other parent, especially in front of your children and stay away from verbal retaliations.
• Do not discuss adult matters with your kids like finances, intimate information regarding your divorce, child support, and other court matters.
• Do not indulge in blame games or narrate your version of the story to the kids. 

Degree of conflicts between the parents 

The level of conflicts between the two parents is a major deciding factor that can affect how the kids are adjusting to the divorce. When divorced parents expose their kids to constant arguments, bickering, criticism, and fighting along with bitter custody battles, it can be quite damaging for the children. If such parents can manage to put aside their differences and try to cooperate, their children can adjust fast. Do not permit the actions of the other parent to affect the kind of relationship and bond you share with your kid.

Getting divorced in California can be complicated.  Download our free eBook, 18 Important Things to Know About California Divorce to educate yourself on the process.  

Gerald A. Maggio is an experienced Orange County divorce and family law attorney and family law attorney located in Irvine, California, serving the Orange County and Riverside areas. Mr. Maggio assists clients with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, divorce mediation, child custody, prenuptial agreements, stepparent adoptions, and other family law issues. Mr. Maggio has practiced law in California since 1999, and founded The Maggio Law Firm in 2005, focusing exclusively on divorce and family law matters.